As expected, I spent the weeks leading up to Mom’s second hip replacement living in existential dread, afraid she would die on the table and I would be left alone in the world with no one to fight off the gardeners trying to cut down my paw paw tree. And then, as everyone around me seemed to know it would be, the surgery was successful and Mom came through with all of her humor and energy intact.
The days leading up to the surgery were full of worry, both because of the pre-surgical clearances coming down to the wire, but also because Mom’s hip was deteriorating incredibly quickly and she was struggling just to get from one room to the other, especially after the ban on NSAIDS was put in place five days before the surgery.
I filled the time preparing: filling the freezer and the pantry with prepared meals; organizing all of the random crap in the apartment that might get in her way when she came home with the walker; carrying boxes of books to the thrift store, and bags and cans of dog food to the animal shelter; and finally replacing the old crooked bookcase with a new, slightly crooked bookcase (put together by moi – which explains why its wonky), so that she wouldn’t be toppled by falling books and sent back to the hospital.
We still have new rugs waiting to be put down, after we removed the un-cleanable rugs from the last months of Cricket and Ellie’s lives, but I’m going to wait on that until Mom’s walking is steadier and she doesn’t need the walker anymore; hopefully the neighbors will be patient with the uncovered floors for a bit longer.
The need to clean has been profound since losing Ellie. When both dogs were still here I didn’t mind a few extra boxes here and there, but in the quiet I keep wanting to clean and find order and make things neat, as if making the apartment more orderly will heal the grief (though it doesn’t really work).
It was so strange to be in the apartment alone. For two days it was just me, no Mom, no dogs, and I don’t know how to describe the stillness in the air. I kept hearing noises and thinking Ellie was coming back down the hallway after a midnight snack, or Mom was getting up in the middle of the night for a midnight snack (Mom and the dogs seemed to have a club I was not invited to). But no one was actually there.
Thank God, the surgery itself went well, and now that Mom’s back home, everything feels like its back to normal, where the noises around the apartment are real instead of phantoms, and even on pain meds and using a walker, she’s more energetic and busy than I am, always texting with someone or planning something. I think the lesson here is that I am a very boring person on my own.
Next up is physical therapy and occupational therapy and nurse’s visits and keeping track of all of the post-op medications and worrying about something else going wrong. But Mom is in a surprisingly good mood so far, and I’m feeling hopeful again.
Oh, and we got a note from the board of our co-op saying that from now on there won’t be a pet fee charged each month for each (or any) pet you own, so when the time comes I can clearly get as many dogs as I can fit into the apartment. Five sounds like a good number to me. It’s possible that Mom will disagree, so, shh, don’t tell her.
If you haven’t had a chance yet, please check out my Young Adult novel, Yeshiva Girl, on Amazon. And if you feel called to write a review of the book, on Amazon, or anywhere else, I’d be honored.
Yeshiva Girl is about a Jewish teenager on Long Island, named Isabel, though her father calls her Jezebel. Her father has been accused of inappropriate sexual behavior with one of his students, which he denies, but Izzy implicitly believes it’s true. As a result of his problems, her father sends her to a co-ed Orthodox yeshiva for tenth grade, out of the blue, and Izzy and her mother can’t figure out how to prevent it. At Yeshiva, though, Izzy finds that religious people are much more complicated than she had expected. Some, like her father, may use religion as a place to hide, but others search for and find comfort, and community, and even enlightenment. The question is, what will Izzy find?
rachelmankowitz 
Dear Rachel, I had stopped reading because the sadness about the dogs, but I was punished as my son had to put down 2 of his dogs within 6 weeks of each other. I am so pleased your mum is feeling a little better as I understand the hip replacement saga, x2, still I have mine for 24 years so pleased with the end result. When our 2 Maltese had to go to heaven, I vowed I would never get any more dogs, as the ache was so bad when then went. So it was puppy top-ups every month at pet shops ..just to look, for 4 years, and then Barney a rescue black scoodlepoodle and the 9months later Mag-doe-linier or Maggie our Scotty also a rescue. Rainbows always after a cloud burst,
I’m looking forward to those rainbows!
I have no doubt that there will be more 4-legged doggies in your future. You and your mom have so much love inside each of you that you won’t be able to share it with furballs. I’m glad your mom’s surgery went well, and that she is again home to keep you company. I’m sure she appreciated all that you did to making ‘home’ as safe as your could for her!
Thank you!
So glad mom’s surgery went well, and that she is now home. Prayers for her healing.
A poochie will appear in time, before you know it. Take care, stay warm.
💜🤗💜🙏🏻
Thank you!
Beautiful
Thank you!
Hope everything is under control now
It is. Thank you!
Glad to know your mom’s operation was successful. Nice pics!
Thank you!
Congrats for your Mom (and you.) Nice she has a daughter like you to care for her and your home.
Art
Thank you!
Your mom will be happy for life💛
That would be wonderful!
So glad that your mom’s surgery went well. 😊
Thank you!
That’s so good to hear, positive thoughts to your mother, and yay for no pet fee!
Thank you!
We fell in love with border collies when we were stationed in the UK (with the USAF). We have had one ever since, and usually two. Mostly rescues. All have brought us much joy.
A border collie would run me ragged; they are way too smart for me.
True, and true. They will keep going long after we’re exhausted… and their intellect makes them worthy adversaries!
Glad your mother’s home and getting more dogs sounds like a very good idea.
Thank you!
I’ve missed a lot of posts in the last couple of months and am just getting back on track. I’m so sorry to hear you lost both pups 😦 I hope eventually you can get five dogs, but in the meantime I wish you healing.
Thank you!
How is your mom doing now Rachel? Is she doing ok? I am happy to read her surgery was successful! X