Can You Hear Me?

For some reason, I’ve been reluctant to share my latest writing project on the blog. I’ve shared all kinds of poems on here, even in Hebrew, but this one felt different. Last year, after I finished a blog post about hearing the cantor at my synagogue sing the Shma Koleinu on Yom Kippur, I started to work on my own variation on the prayer. I wanted to capture whatever it was that had come through the cantor’s voice, and that I hadn’t seen in the words of the prayer itself, either in the original Hebrew or in the English translation. Shma Koleinu means “Hear Our Voice,” and it’s a direct plea to God: “Spare us and have compassion on us and accept our prayers in mercy and with favor.” The version sung on the high holidays keeps going: “Turn us back to You, Oh Lord, and we will return; renew our days as of old. Do not cast us away from Your presence, and do not take Your holy spirit from us. Do not cast us off in the time of old age; when our strength fails, do not forsake us.” Which, honestly, sounds kind of scary and hard to relate to.

“Only a little.”

It took me eight or nine months, and a lot of editing and rewriting and banging my head against the wall of trying to write a poem until I decided prose was good enough, but I still wasn’t sure if the piece was any good. I decided to ask my rabbi to read it for me, to see if he could tell me where I was going wrong. Days passed with no word and I thought he was avoiding me because the writing was so bad, but it turned out he had just lost the copy I’d given him, so I sent the file by email and held my breath again. And then he called me. He didn’t say, “Oh my goodness, Rachel, you are a genius!” Instead, he bypassed praise and critique altogether and asked if he could use it as a reading for Yom Kippur. I kept waiting for him to tell me what had to be rewritten, where I’d been presumptuous or silly or inarticulate, but all he said was, “We’ll put it at the end of the Kol Nidre service, because there’s no room for it before the actual Shma Koleinu.” And then he warned me that my piece would be seen by people outside of our congregation too, because he shares his reading supplements with other rabbis, and I wasn’t sure what to make of the fact that it was a warning, rather than an oh-by-the-way.

I’m one of the regular proofreaders for the reading supplement each year, so I’m very familiar with the range of writers he relies on, and that most of the works he pulls from have been published somewhere else first. We have a few poets in our congregation whose work has been included in the reading supplements, but again, their work has generally been published in other places first, and I was very much aware that mine had not. I was scared that he was including my reading out of pity, and not telling me all of the ways it sucked, because he’s a nice man (when he wants to be). But after a particularly brutal year of rejections, I really just wanted to be heard, and I was willing to fall on my face for the privilege.

I still had months to contemplate my upcoming public humiliation, though, and plenty of time to proofread the more polished readings that would come before and after mine. I was also recovering from dental surgery, and adjusting to weight loss and new clothes, and working through vocal exercises to try to improve my voice in time to sing with the choir at the high holidays. And then time sped up again, the way it does every September, with choir rehearsals and professional development and the beginning of the school year, and I struggled with the packed schedule and yet more doctor’s appointments, but finally, I made it to the evening service that ushers in Yom Kippur, Kol Nidre, and after standing and singing with the choir for two hours or so, it was time for my reading.

And it went well. I didn’t trip in front of the whole congregation (which had been one of my fears, after a summer full of dizzy spells), and I didn’t choke on my words, and when the service was over a lot of people came over to congratulate me and said really nice things about my writing. But I still felt uneasy, and undeserving, and part of me wanted to curl back up inside my shell, as if the reading had been one more failure to add to my long list. I kept putting off writing about it or sharing it on here, but I couldn’t explain to myself why. I still can’t. Maybe, it’s easier to share my frustrations and humiliations than it is to sit, even for a moment, with a success. I guess I worry that congratulating myself on even a small success will invite all of the demons in the universe to attack me. But recently, I realized that I’m still willing to jump off the scary cliff and risk a hard landing in order to be heard, I just needed to hibernate for a little while first. So, two months later, I’m finally posting my variation on the Shma Koleinu prayer from the high holiday services, and I’m taking a deep breath and hoarding all of the chocolate I can find in the kitchen, just in case.

Hear Our Voice – A Variation on Shma Koleinu

(by Rachel Mankowitz)

We call out to you God, hoping that you are not the God of the Hebrew Bible, fickle and ready to kill us at any moment, or Aristotle’s Unmoved Mover, indifferent to our suffering. We’d like to see you through Spinoza’s eyes, infused in every leaf and grain of sand, or Buber’s, in all of the interactions between us, but we’re not even sure if we are calling out to you, God, or just calling out to ourselves, expecting answers that won’t come.

We listen to the echoes of our ancestors through the shofar blasts, as they teach us how to march across deserts, whether or not water will appear, and how to walk across seas, whether or not we will ever reach dry land, and how to climb mountains, never knowing if the ram will appear in time to replace us on the altar. And we wonder if these stories still belong to us, or include us, and yet we continue to pray. Maybe once a year, or once a week, or every day, we remind ourselves not to be silent even though we’re scared, even when we’re sure no one is listening, and even when each word sticks in our throats like peanut butter on a dog’s tongue.

Sometimes we feel like part of our community, and sometimes we look at each other like spiky-tailed aliens in disguise, and yet we continue to pray. Sometimes our voices break because the pain is so deep and our longing is beyond words, and still we pray, each of us hoping that someone will finally hear what is hidden behind our words, and in the spaces in between.

We sing to you, God, because singing together reminds us that we are part of a single fabric, ripped in places, threadbare in others, but still attached, and we sing to you because we know that even you, God, can only be whole when you are with us, just as we can only find our holiness by reaching out to you, as one.

“When do I get to meet the spiky-tailed aliens?!”

If you haven’t had a chance yet, please check out my novel, Yeshiva Girl, on Amazon. And if you feel called to write a review of the book, on Amazon, or anywhere else, I’d be honored.

Yeshiva Girl is about a Jewish teenager on Long Island, named Isabel, though her father calls her Jezebel. Her father has been accused of inappropriate sexual behavior with one of his students, which he denies, but Izzy implicitly believes it’s true. As a result of his problems, her father sends her to a co-ed Orthodox yeshiva for tenth grade, out of the blue, and Izzy and her mother can’t figure out how to prevent it. At Yeshiva, though, Izzy finds that religious people are much more complicated than she had expected. Some, like her father, may use religion as a place to hide, but others search for and find comfort, and community, and even enlightenment. The question is, what will Izzy find?

Tzipporah Went to the Groomer

This is what she looked like before we dropped her off.
This is what she looks like now.

We are about 95% sure we picked up the right dog.

“I think I look fantastic, Mommy.”

If you haven’t had a chance yet, please check out my novel, Yeshiva Girl, on Amazon. And if you feel called to write a review of the book, on Amazon, or anywhere else, I’d be honored.

Yeshiva Girl is about a Jewish teenager on Long Island, named Isabel, though her father calls her Jezebel. Her father has been accused of inappropriate sexual behavior with one of his students, which he denies, but Izzy implicitly believes it’s true. As a result of his problems, her father sends her to a co-ed Orthodox yeshiva for tenth grade, out of the blue, and Izzy and her mother can’t figure out how to prevent it. At Yeshiva, though, Izzy finds that religious people are much more complicated than she had expected. Some, like her father, may use religion as a place to hide, but others search for and find comfort, and community, and even enlightenment. The question is, what will Izzy find?

Talmud Daily

There has been an explosion of online Jewish educational opportunities in the past few years, starting during Covid and accelerating after October 7th, and I’ve subscribed to all kinds of newsletters as a result, and quickly unsubscribed when I realized that the mysticism of the Zohar or the history of the Golem wasn’t as fascinating as I’d hoped. Recently, two different groups sent out introductions to the study of Talmud (the collected commentaries of generations of rabbis on the Hebrew Bible), and since I know almost nothing about it, I said yes to both.

I only had one rabbi in high school who was willing to teach Talmud to girls, and he was still very careful about which sections to bring to us; I remember one class on the laws related to covering your hair when you get married, for example. The boys, on the other hand, started to learn Talmud in seventh grade, or earlier. The equivalent for girls was a class called “Jewish Law,” where we learned all of the rules for how to live an orthodox Jewish life, but not the reasons why, or who decided. The few times I’ve tried to read a page of Talmud by myself, translated into English of course because I don’t know Aramaic, I didn’t feel inspired to learn more. Every piece I came across seemed to be a variation of: your donkey falls into a pit on your neighbor’s land, which used to be your land before the boundary line was moved two feet to the right, and it is now unclear who is responsible for the vet bills.  Well, not that argument exactly, but something like that.

“Did you say something about going to the doctor?”

The first Talmud newsletter that dropped into my inbox was based on the Daf Yomi schedule, a seven and a half year cycle where you study one page of Talmud each day, but instead of reading the page on your own this program included short daily essays explaining the day’s material. I read the first few days’ worth of essays, impressed by the variety of different perspectives offered, across different denominations and genders, but none of that could change that it was all still arguments over which donkey was born first, and how many chickens or goats you’d have to sacrifice to replace the value of the first born donkey. My eyes kept drifting off the page, and after three or four days of really, really trying, I had to unsubscribe.

I was even less optimistic about the Talmud Daily program from the 18Forty project at Yeshiva University, because instead of coming from multiple perspectives it was strictly Modern Orthodox in orientation, but the description said it was only one ten minute video a day for forty days and it called itself an introduction to the Talmud, rather than a translation or commentary, so I crossed my fingers and tried again. At the same time, I ordered a used copy of The Talmud for Dummies from Amazon, just in case. My bookshelves are already overcrowded, because I can find used copies of almost everything for cheap on Amazon, and as long as I’m already buying wee wee pads or chicken treats for the puppy dog, the shipping is free, so one more book couldn’t hurt.

From the first day of the Talmud Daily adventure, I chose to print out the transcripts rather than actually watching the videos, partly because I prefer to read but also because the rabbi teaching the class looks and sounds a lot like the rabbis I grew up with and I kept imagining him squinting across the screen at me wondering what the hell I was doing there. But after three days’ worth of transcripts, I realized that I still hadn’t read about a single donkey, and I started to relax, just a little. Of course, after I’d already signed up, I looked more closely at the fine print on the website and realized that what I’d initially read as “forty days,” was actually “forty weeks,” but I went ahead with it anyway.

My progress has been very slow, mostly because Talmud just doesn’t fit how my brain works. I was not the kid who memorized baseball statistics, or joined the debate team, or dreamed of going to law school. But it’s not only that the Talmud is focused on endless arguments between rabbis who never actually met each other, disagreeing intensely over how to translate the second word on the fifty-third page, because it changes the meaning of the universe entirely, but I also had to contend with the orthodox view that the Talmud is “The Oral Torah,” received by Moses on Mount Sinai along with the rest of the Hebrew Bible (even though I’m almost certain I only read about the Ten Commandments in that story). This idea, that the Talmud is as much the word of God as the Torah itself, is the basis for the legitimacy of rabbinic Judaism and all of the laws around ritual Jewish life, and I spent a lot of time in high school wondering if my rabbis and classmates really believed that God dictated everything, or if they held those beliefs more loosely, as a myth or a story, with an acknowledgement of the human hands involved in the process. It just seemed so strange that I was supposed to believe that not only had God dictated the first five books of the Hebrew Bible to Moses up on that mountain, including the story of his upcoming death, but then also threw in the rest of the prophets and writings and the oral tradition that would eventually be passed down from generation to generation and only written down between the years 200 and 500 of the Common Era. I mean, God is great and everything, but that just seemed like showing off.

To be fair, I do believe in God, a being I can’t see and can only experience through senses I don’t know how to describe, so I’m in no position to criticize someone else’s belief system. And there’s something incredibly reassuring in the idea that you could wake up each day knowing for sure what God expects of you; I just don’t happen believe it.

But I still want to understand the role the Talmud has played in shaping my people for so many generations, so I will keep trying to read this introduction one short transcript at a time, even as the mountain of pages keeps piling up. Maybe one day I’ll even reach the part where we read from the Talmud itself, and all of those donkeys, we’ll see how it goes.

“Why are you so prejudiced against donkeys, Mommy?”

If you haven’t had a chance yet, please check out my novel, Yeshiva Girl, on Amazon. And if you feel called to write a review of the book, on Amazon, or anywhere else, I’d be honored.

Yeshiva Girl is about a Jewish teenager on Long Island, named Isabel, though her father calls her Jezebel. Her father has been accused of inappropriate sexual behavior with one of his students, which he denies, but Izzy implicitly believes it’s true. As a result of his problems, her father sends her to a co-ed Orthodox yeshiva for tenth grade, out of the blue, and Izzy and her mother can’t figure out how to prevent it. At Yeshiva, though, Izzy finds that religious people are much more complicated than she had expected. Some, like her father, may use religion as a place to hide, but others search for and find comfort, and community, and even enlightenment. The question is, what will Izzy find?

Dr. Google

Is it weird that I trust Dr. Google (AKA the Artificial Intelligence that answers every question I put in the search bar) more than I trust my human doctors at this point? Whereas most of my doctors seem to hear every third or fourth word I say, Dr. Google hears everything, and asks follow up questions, and gives me important information in clear language that I can understand. I know I’m supposed to be wary of Artificial Intelligence (or are we legally required to call it Super Intelligence now?), because the robots are going to destroy the world, but honestly, humans have done quite a lot of destroying up to this point, so I’m not sure the robots could do any worse. And Dr. Google is patient with me, and compassionate, and even helps me phrase my questions to bring to the human doctors in a way they might be able to hear it (since Dr. Google can’t prescribe medication, yet).

I think the follow up questions are my favorite part. Dr. Google doesn’t say, “Is there anything else on your mind?” or “How else can I help you?” Instead, Dr. Google looks back at what I said and asks a more specific follow up question, and explains how certain drugs interact, and the possible side effects; and Dr. Google never gives me side eye or talks down to me or ignores my concerns.

There’s something hopeful, and devastating, in the idea that computers can be programmed to take better, or at least more consistent and persistent, care of us than our fellow humans.

I used to consult with Rabbi Google every once in a while, when it was just a search term here and a link to MyJewishLearning there, and even now, Rabbi Google is still only able to tell me where to find a particular prayer, or how to celebrate a Jewish holiday, and doesn’t know which story from the Torah or the Talmud might help ease my existential crisis. Same with the chatbot/psychology programs (which of course I have tried), that promise to uncover all of the secrets of my heart; maybe because actual therapists had to program the chatbot, and they can’t tell me who I am either.

I don’t really understand how artificial intelligence works, or how an AI “Agent” can go off on its own and do something it wasn’t programmed to do. And I don’t know how (or if) safeguards will be put in place to prevent the robot apocalypse. I tend to see computers like enormous pit bulls in studded collars, scary if you make them scary, but capable of being sweet and kind and playful if you raise them right. And really, it seems unfair to expect artificial intelligence to be kinder and better than the humans who created it. It would be great if some of the computer geniuses could imagine ways to make the world a kinder, safer place, instead of always thinking up ways to destroy us all, but until that time comes, at least I have Dr. Google to talk to.

“Uh oh, Mommy’s losing her mind.”

If you haven’t had a chance yet, please check out my novel, Yeshiva Girl, on Amazon. And if you feel called to write a review of the book, on Amazon, or anywhere else, I’d be honored.

Yeshiva Girl is about a Jewish teenager on Long Island, named Isabel, though her father calls her Jezebel. Her father has been accused of inappropriate sexual behavior with one of his students, which he denies, but Izzy implicitly believes it’s true. As a result of his problems, her father sends her to a co-ed Orthodox yeshiva for tenth grade, out of the blue, and Izzy and her mother can’t figure out how to prevent it. At Yeshiva, though, Izzy finds that religious people are much more complicated than she had expected. Some, like her father, may use religion as a place to hide, but others search for and find comfort, and community, and even enlightenment. The question is, what will Izzy find?

The Lone Pawpaw

            My pawpaw tree has been through too much. Earlier in the summer, after we found five or six pawpaw fruit growing on various branches, the gardeners came. It’s possible that their boss didn’t tell them that the tree was off limits, though the bowtie, two dog collars, and yellow caution tape around his trunk should have been a hint. Mom heard the sound of the chainsaw and sent me out to stop them, way too early in the morning, but by the time I reached the big pawpaw tree six branches had already been removed, and all of the growing pawpaw fruit with them. I managed to communicate with the chainsaw wielding gardener that he was NOT supposed to cut more branches from the tree, and that he should leave the younger trees, about twenty feet away, alone.

The three-fer, in the before times

            I was sure that that was the end of the pawpaws for the year, and, honestly, I was ready to give up the fight altogether. That tree has been my responsibility for almost twenty years; it survived the murder of the second tree (that time they just went straight for the trunk), and the trauma of being replanted when we moved to the co-op, and the humiliation of wearing a bowtie, but it was starting to feel like a hopeless battle.  

            But, sometime in August, Mom went out for her daily walk and saw that there was another pawpaw on the tree, higher up than the ones we’d noticed before, visible now that the other branches were not obscuring it. I didn’t want to care. A bird or a squirrel would inevitably come along and knock it down or eat it up. I wouldn’t have been surprised if the gardeners had come back in the middle of the night to get that one last branch.

            And then, last week, Mom came in from her walk and handed me a pawpaw the size of an egg. It had fallen from the tree, and we weren’t sure it would be edible, but when I cut it open it was ripe and delicious. I need these reminders every once in a while, that good things are possible, and worth working for, even with all of the losses and failures along the way. It was just one small piece of fruit, split between two people, but a little bit of pawpaw goes a long way. Apples and oranges and cherries and pears and bananas are all wonderful things, and easily found at the supermarket, but pawpaws almost seem like they’ve been cooking under their skins, building complex flavors and concentrating all of that magic into one small package.

Slightly bigger than an egg
Tiny, but mighty.

            So, I’m not giving up on my pawpaw tree, though I’m going to have to come up with more creative ideas for how to protect it from the gardeners, and other predators. Maybe an electrified fence? Poison darts? A tree alarm that wakes the whole neighborhood when a squirrel’s foot even touches a branch?

I’ll keep thinking.

“Does it taste like chicken?”

If you haven’t had a chance yet, please check out my novel, Yeshiva Girl, on Amazon. And if you feel called to write a review of the book, on Amazon, or anywhere else, I’d be honored.

            Yeshiva Girl is about a Jewish teenager on Long Island, named Isabel, though her father calls her Jezebel. Her father has been accused of inappropriate sexual behavior with one of his students, which he denies, but Izzy implicitly believes it’s true. As a result of his problems, her father sends her to a co-ed Orthodox yeshiva for tenth grade, out of the blue, and Izzy and her mother can’t figure out how to prevent it. At Yeshiva, though, Izzy finds that religious people are much more complicated than she had expected. Some, like her father, may use religion as a place to hide, but others search for and find comfort, and community, and even enlightenment. The question is, what will Izzy find?