I missed a week on the blog, but I have a good excuse. Thursday, July 31st, I went into the city for a Lumbar Puncture (AKA Spinal Tap). My neurologist wanted the LP to rule out all kinds of scary diseases he doesn’t think I have. I had to run around (or slowly traipse around) this huge hospital for blood tests and nurse visits, with aides walking me from one place to another. Hospitals should seriously consider Golden Retriever guides instead of humans – much more comforting, and just as capable of answering any questions I might have.
Delilah, my preferred Golden Guide.
For the test itself I was placed face down on a table, with a pile of pillows under my stomach. The Novocain shot in my back hurt the way it hurts at the dentist (meaning, a lot, but over pretty soon), but then I was tapped like a keg. I felt like a maple tree with a spout hammered into my back. Then the table tilted until I was almost standing up, and the cerebrospinal fluid started to drip out. Then the table was flipped forward, like a see saw, to check the pressure of the fluid. Then back for more dripping and forward for another pressure, then finally flat, tap removed, and transferred to a stretcher to be wheeled to recovery to lay flat for an hour.
The explanation for the hour on my back was that it would help avoid a leak of spinal fluid that would lead to a bad headache. I assumed the headache would come on soon, if it was going to come at all, so when the hour passed I began to think that (for once!) I’d fallen on the good side of the percentages and wouldn’t have a bad reaction to the spinal tap.
All day Friday I rested with my puppies at my side, because the doctor had told me to avoid too much activity and because I was exhausted. I felt a bit dizzy, but I was still congratulating myself for not getting the terrible headache.
Cricket was supposed to be my foot rest here.
Saturday morning, Cricket woke me at five AM I felt a bit odd, but I usually do at five AM. I tried to go back to sleep, but with each hour my head started to hurt more, until I tried to stand up again and the world exploded.
I couldn’t walk much further than the living room without extreme pain, but I still thought that if I took Tylenol and drank caffeine, as recommended, the headache would pass.
When I woke up on Sunday morning, I tried to stand up and the pain was crushing. That’s when I started to panic. It felt like an alien creature was crawling through my skull and sticking its rhinoceros-tough fingers through my eyes and ears and down my throat. I took pain pills and Pepto Bismal and drank caffeinated tea and tried not to listen when Mom mentioned the emergency room.
At some point, I don’t know when, I started to throw up, a lot. There was a pink puddle on the tile floor of the bathroom, with little islands of white pain pills floating in it. I went back to my room to lie down and the puppies piled on top of me, but I had to move them to get to the bathroom and throw up again, and again.
Mom called my neurologist and his colleague said to call an ambulance and go to the emergency room, for a procedure called a blood patch, where my own blood would be taken from my arm and put into the epidural space, to stop the leak of spinal fluid. Somehow they had forgotten to warn me that the headache would come on after a few days, and that it would be a positional headache, meaning that any time I lifted my head, bombs went off.
The paramedic came with two police officers, and I could barely get out of bed and into the wheel chair, where the vomiting continued as they carried me down the stairs and out to the ambulance. Everything was blurry because I couldn’t wear my glasses, but Mom told me later that the towel that magically appeared in my hands came from our very kind downstairs neighbor.
There’s something about extraordinary pain that makes you lose all vanity. You do not care that vomit is dripping from your face, or that you’re still in your sweaty pajamas and you never brushed your hair. Who gives a fuck, just help me!
At the hospital, eventually, something was injected into the IV in my arm that calmed the nausea, and Fioricet and constant fluids were prescribed for the headache. Then the pain management specialist/anesthesiologist came over to tell me that the OR was closed on Sundays, so I would have to stay over night for observation until he could get me scheduled for the blood patch on Monday. Bye.
The ER doctor explained, in the aftermath, that I was better off staying in the hospital because if I tried to go home I was very likely to destabilize and end up back in the ER.
Mom went home to walk the girls and to bring me some things, and by the time she came back I was much more coherent. She brought me a picture of Butterfly with a sock in her mouth, because Butterfly had run into my room, picked up one of my dirty socks from its home next to the laundry basket and then ran to the front door with it. Because she missed me.
“Mommy forgot her sock!”
One thing I noticed about being in the hospital: no matter why you are there, every nurse, doctor, aide, and PA asks about bowel movements. Some of them press a stethoscope to the belly to listen for interesting noises. I had to apologize to them for my quiet belly, and explain about the amount of vomiting I’d done, without much subsequent eating. I felt like an underachiever; though I was peeing constantly from the fluids, so I wasn’t a complete disappointment.
My neurologist called from the city on Monday to tell me that the results from the LP had come in, all clear. So, sorry, but you seem to be going through all of this for nothing.
More blood was taken, for some unexplained reason, and a surprise CT scan, and blood pressure checks every five minutes, so I was kept busy until it was time for my procedure in the afternoon.
The anesthesiologist came by before the blood patch to explain that this would be more painful than the original LP, but hopefully successful at patching the leak, and ending the headache. Hopefully. For this procedure there was a pre-op nurse, two OR nurses, a post-op nurse and a few other people who didn’t introduce themselves. The head operating room nurse had pictures of Butterflies on her cap and Mom took that as a good sign, that my puppies were with me in spirit.
“Where’s Mommy?”
The operating room was very bright, and huge, and intimidating, especially with my face down and half my butt sticking out. One of the nurses held my hand and patted my head, while the doctor shot me with Novocain and started to dig into my back with a needle. Then he was taking blood from my arm to insert into the epidural space, and decided to tell his colleagues about the guys who first discovered that shooting cocaine into the spinal column could cause such pain relief that you could hit each other in the legs with baseball bats, and squeeze your gonads with pliers, and not feel a thing.
Then he went back to sticking needles in my back and hitting them with hammers and squeezing lemon juice and razor blades under my skin, or whatever it was he was doing back there.
When it was finally over, I still felt like there was an axe embedded in my lower back, but after the required hour of lying flat I was eager to sit up and prove that the headache was gone and I was ready to go home. I felt like a pin cushion and didn’t want to spend another night in the hospital and risk more surprise procedures. It took until 9:45 PM for the discharge papers to come through, but I finally got to go home to my puppies and my own bed.
Cricket can make anyone into a pillow.
I was proud of myself for managing well, for communicating clearly and talking to a million people and doing everything I needed to do, but having Mom with me made all the difference. Everyone should have a Mommy like mine. But I still think there should have been puppies at the hospital. I don’t know what they’re thinking not having puppies on staff.
The new hospital staff!
rachelmankowitz 
I wondered where you were last week! Feel better soon. You’re right about the staff-dogs 🙂
Thanks for thinking of me! I’m feeling better everyday!
Thanks for sharing your touching story. Good wishes to you!
Thank you so much!
i’m so sorry you had to go through all that.hospital tests are as barbaric as they were a hundred years ago.you would think someone could invent a lot less painful tests with no side effects.
I read about a place where they do these procedures under full anesthesia, but that would scare me. And this way I got to feel some empathy for pin cushions.
lol pin cushions….they don’t feel what you do
I’m glad your story had a happy ending. You have a wonderful Mom; you’re lucky to still have her. I lost mine (and my Dad) right after I turned nineteen. I still miss her daily. But especially when things like this happen. Give her an extra squeeze from me, and Butterfly too!
I know how lucky I am and I would share my Mom if I could spare her, but I can’t. I was very lucky with the nurses and PAs at the hospital too, though, they were very kind.
I’m glad everything is okay, but I’m not glad you had to go through all that. At least it’s behind you now (no pun intended!) And having your puppies will make everything feel better. I know when I’m having a bad day, my Spud doesn’t leave my side (except to take care of things outside) and curls up next to me in bed.
Even Cricket was solicitous when I was sick, and she behaved very well while I was away. Now that I know she can do that, though, her normal crazy behavior seems just a little bit suspicious.
Uh oh. She blew her cover. 😀
My daughter went through all this several years ago. She had a leak subsequent to a lumbar tap, she avoided the blood patch essentially due to medical neglect and recovered on her own. I hope you recover quickly and completely and so sorry you went through this!
The anesthesiologist said that if I didn’t have the blood patch the headache could have lasted weeks! I hope that’s not how it was for your daughter, because that is a brutal experience.
So sorry to hear about your awful experience but glad to hear you recovered. We agree there should be puppies on staff at all hospitals.
I think the nurses would be happier with puppies around too. They work so freaking hard, they need snuggles and licks as much as anyone!
that’s quite a ride kid……….. glad you came through it
Me too! Thank you!
So sorry…what a miserable experience.
It was, at first, but I really did meet a lot of good people. I love that even in the middle of total crap I can find people who make me laugh!
How scary! I hate medical procedures because I worry about these type of scenarios. I hope you’re continuing to feel better and that the results are not scary at all!
I’m feeling much better, thank you! I think I’m on a hiatus from medical tests for a while, now.
I’m so sorry to hear of all you’ve been going through. Wishing you well.
Thank you so much!
I do hope you take care…I have had three LP’s I had Meningitis twice and both times the exploding head came before the LP..the second time I came home from a week in hospital and as long as I lay flat I was fine..the moment I got up I could not see and I was violently ill the long term effects from two cases of meningitis have caused damage…I still suffer terrible head aches .the third LP was only last year and being aware of the problems that can arise I took good care to rest…so rest up and avoid too strenuous activities..my pain was form the meningitis more so than the LP’s ..hugs Fozziemum
When I got to the hospital their first thought was meningitis, and they were so relieved that all I had was the spinal headache. I can’t even imagine doing this three times, let alone being so sick. I’m so sorry you had to go through that!
It was pretty awful..the first time I was 11 and ended up in an infectious disease hospital..gross..the second time was a few days before my 20th birthday and that one was bad..luckily I knew I had meningitis because my neck was stiff and I could not stand the light plus the excruciating headache..so I got to the hospital quickly..i suffered migraines all the time from then on…the last time they gave me one when I woke up and was violently sick with the head ache again..poor hubby was at the airport due to fly out with work..so he came back and off we went and yet another LP..which came back fine..i must admit the pain in my head all three times meant I didn’t even feel the LP ..it can give you some lower back later so be aware of that..i do hope you don’t have to experience it again..it’s no fun 😦
I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that, especially as a kid. Hospitals are no place for children. That’s when you really need the puppies!
I agree..i didn’t even appreciate the ambulance ride hahaha the sirens! you would think not a good idea..and yes I would have loved a pup then 🙂
I so resist the urge to send the people I miss a message that I miss them. People have lives; it’s not all about the blog! But I did miss you, and am so sorry for all you had to go through. I love the new hospital staff!
Thank you so much for thinking of me. I was thinking of doing a short update when I came home from the hospital, but I’m vain, I wanted to write a whole post. There’s something so reassuring to me about posting at the same time each week. Missing last week makes this week that much sweeter.
I hope you feel 100 per cent very, very soon!
I’m shooting for a little under a hundred percent, but anything that doesn’t involve needles in my back is a huge improvement.
You made the experience very real and very immediate. It must have been very frightening; glad you’re on the healing side!
Thank you!
Oh my; I clicked “like” because of how well you described what you’d endured, but so sorry you had to go through this! Glad to hear you are feeling better now!
I think writing it out has done a lot to help me feel better this week. There’s something wonderful about being able to tell it as a story, now that it’s over!
Ouch! That must have been an awful time. The pups definitely make the best caretakers.
It was amazing how the girls really pulled together to take care of me. Cricket really did act as a foot rest for a while, though she resisted having her picture taken in such an accommodating position.
Why don’t we dogs run the hospital? We’re better aides-we know our way around better. We can even smell and tell if you have cancer. We’re better at calming people. Just the thought of a dog made you feel better. Butterfly, give up the socks and start filling out a hospital job application.
Can you believe they won’t accept a paw print for a signature?!
That’s OK, Cricket could be in charge of training the therapy humans.
Cricket is ready to work!
I’ve had some bad headaches in my day, but nothing like what you’ve described. It sounds like it was quite an ordeal. Hope you’re back in the swing of things soon. I’m sure your puppies will go a long way to helping you!
When the puppies went back to waking me up at six in the morning, I knew I must be on the mend.
I’m so sorry to hear what all you’ve had to go through. I’m glad you’re better and that your Mom, Butterfly and Cricket are there for you. I, too, think puppies would wonderful medicine!
I really think the Golden Retriever guides would work out well, especially in the big hospitals. We wouldn’t need to wear wristbands either, because the dogs would know us by smell.
What an awful ordeal. I am glad to hear you are feeling better. Butterfly and Cricket are part of the recovery process- the best medicine. I hope the week coming up is uneventful and calm. Feel good. Hugs to you
Uneventful sounds wonderful!
I am glad that you’re back home and feeling better. So sorry that you had to go through those test. Just reading how you describe the procedure, I could feel your pain. Hug your girls, they’ll make you feel better everytime 🙂 – Carol
Just watching the girls stretch out on the living room floor and sleep so peacefully is a healing thing. I aspire to be just like them!
God bless you for making your way through all that, and California wishes for a refuah shelemah.
Todah rabah!
My daughter had the headache post LP several years ago and had a blood patch done, I really feel for you. I hope I was as much help to her as your mom was to you, I didn’t feel like I was helping much.
BTW, my grand doggy is a therapy dog and visits people in hospitals and nursing homes. I bet she could learn to guide people through hospitals and answer questions! 🙂
I’m so sorry your daughter had to go through that too. Just having my mom there to hold my hand was such a good thing, such a reassurance that I wouldn’t have to be alone with it. But it would have been nice to have a puppy or two there over night. Hospitals have a lot of good things going for them, but they are not cozy.
You poor but extremely brave thing. I am so relieved that the LP came back clear, but I understand your frustration so very well. I have felt complete exhaustion quite often for several years now and the doctors are baffled as to what it can be aside from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and only certain doctors believe that it actually exists. You want answers and you want doctors to believe that it isn’t all in your head. That is how I feel when I go to the doctors. My thoughts are with you!
I’ve been lucky with my current neurologist, because he really does believe me and want to help. My earlier experiences were not like that at all. I’ve heard a lot of stories, mostly from women, of being disrespected by doctors, and not getting a diagnosis or treatment for many years, until whatever is wrong finally blossoms into a recognizable disease. But even then, the doctors just shrug, like, oh well, I guess NOW you really are sick. It’s very frustrating.
I am glad that your neurologist is one of the good guys 🙂
me too!
😀
Unfortunately I went through the same thing. After that I found out it was best to avoid doctors and hospitals and invasive tests with little chance of finding anything. I hope you are feeling better.
It’s so frustrating that they don’t prepare people for potential badness in the aftermath of the LP. They could have made the whole thing less frightening by talking to me about it ahead of time, and giving me some good drugs to hold in reserve, just in case.
Well I am a physician and I wasn’t prepared for it either but it did give me a much better understanding of how it feels to be on the other side of the health care fence.
It’s hard to describe this kind of headache. When I read up before hand and they talked about the risk of a headache, I thought it would be the kind of headache I’m used to. My brother is a doctor too and he had to have back surgery before he started medical school. I think that taught him more than most of the classes he took along the way, like that nurses are a huge part of healing, and when someone is in pain, you need to take them seriously.
Poor human!! Next time you need a PURRamedic, call me! I’m sorry you had to go through much agony- but I’m glad you have your doggies! GET SOME REST!!!💖
What a great idea! If only there had been a doggy in the ambulance with me I would have felt so much better.
Yes, you humans need us kitties (sigh)- okay, doggies too- we animals can heal in ways that humans can’t! Hope you’re all better today! Sending a gift fur you 🐭 (hope you like mice- they’re one of my FAVORITE snacks)!
I’m afraid Cricket might enjoy your gift too much, and try to play catch with it!
Hehehe!! Cricket sounds Pawsome!
Rachel, I am so sorry that you had to go through this procedure and suffer the side effects of it, but I am glad to hear that you received an “all clear,” which maybe made it worth going through? (Okay, that’s debatable, eh?) But anyway I just want to say that I enjoyed reading your post, and that once again you show readers how important your pups are to you, and that the human-animal bond is truly a beautiful thing. Take care and give those dogs all the lovin’ you can, because they — and, of course, your wonderful mother — are infinitely better than any medical procedure.
The worst thing about the headache was that I couldn’t take the girls out for their walks. As soon as I could manage it I was so happy to be back outside with them watching them run and sniff. It was such a wonderful relief.
I know I didn’t ,,,,,but reading this made me feel the pain. All clear is good in one way but presumably leaves you still not knowing what is wrong. Love the puppy nurse idea, that would suit me. A. Great, if painful, read.
Not sure a ‘like’ is the right reaction to this post. What a nightmare week you’ve had to endure! Glad, anyway, that you are now well enough to consider suing your neurologist, or at least setting Butterfly and Cricket on him. Do you think sadism is a necessary ingredient for success in the medical profession? Anyway, all the best now, and I hope you don’t have to consider putting yourself at their mercy again anytime soon.
I really would like to see what would happen if I brought Cricket to visit the anesthesiologist who did the blood patch. She could test his pain tolerance, or at least his hearing! My mom told me that he called the day after the procedure, while I was sleeping, to see if the procedure had actually worked, because, he said, it only works about 75% of the time. What?????? My neurologist said 95%! Good thing I didn’t talk to that guy too much before agreeing to the procedure. Oy.
As in ‘only works 75% of the time’ when HE does it? Aren’t they supposed to practice first? Another page of research Mary Shelley missed. Anyway, glad you’re through it now. Best wishes to B and C.
I think that was the implication! He was calling to find out if he’d done the procedure.
So glad you are okay now and back at home with the lovely Cricket and Butterfly.
So sorry to hear of your awful ordeal. I’m glad you’re home now with your puppies. 🙂
Thank you so much!
Golly! What a horrible experience, and without doggies in attendance, too. I’m glad you are OK.
Thank you! Maybe I should have had Mom sneak a puppy in with the books and clean clothes!
I am just so sorry you went through all that.
Your first paragraph was very funny and exactly how we felt when we went for my husband’s biopsy…he said he felt that he was in an abattoir! Although he has cancer, we no longer have any invasive procedures or chemo or radiation or anything. The doctors waved us goodbye and said that he had 18 months…
Love you pics…
Oh no! How can they just say that! I’m so sorry! I wish I could send Butterfly over to comfort you, or Cricket to yell at the doctors and tell them to be more creative and get off their butts and think of something. Okay, now I’m really mad!
We really should be more aware of just how important nurses are. You’ve had a horrible time but I am so glad that you appear to be over it now. Time for puppies and a bit or R & R for you and Grandma.. Take care Rachel
Thank you! Nurses hold the whole place together and they work so hard, and more than anyone else, they seem to understand how frightening it is to be in the hospital and vulnerable. I was very lucky!
That sounds very traumatic. Hope you are feeling much better now. Mollie sends you some healing Labrador licks.
Puppy kisses always help, thank you!
Wow you described it so well that I could feel your headache, and nearly stopped eating my lunch for feeling almost like throwing up, while reading about your ordeal! Glad you’re feeling better now! I am all for Golden Guides in hospitals!
I’m sorry for making the descriptions a little too vivid. I never want to interrupt a good meal!
Oh Rachel, how awful! What an ordeal, and so painful. I hope you never have to go through anything like that again! I think doggies would make everyone feel so much better in a hospital. I am a volunteer at a hospital as a person who wheels you in and out, and guides people where they need to go. I love doing it and talking to the people, and hope I make the experience at least a little less stressful. Maybe I should woof and wag my tail more? Bless you!
I think the woofing and tail wagging would relieve a lot of the stress around that hospital! What a great thing, to volunteer to be there for people when they are at their most vulnerable. Good for you!
Thank you. Banjo and Darby are very proud of your pups, taking good care of you while you were down.
Oh, I hope you feel better soon, Rachel, sounds like you’ve been through the wars with this!
I’m feeling much better now, thank you! I love that I have this whole community of people to complain to, it makes things so much better!
It’s great to have a mom who is there for you and the furkids. I cross my paws for you and send you a big hug.
Mommies are a wonderful thing! Thank you!
Oh dear. Poor poor you. You have certainly been through the wars! I am pleased you are feeling a bit better. Congratulations to you, Mum/Mom and the puppies for getting through it. Look after yourself and get all better soon. Love Moke x
I think Cricket is over it, she’s ready for the attention to go back where it belongs, on her. She decided to poop on her grandma’s sewing/quilting mat, just to let everyone know who’s the boss.
It’s must be hard when facilities are closed on Sundays and the pain feels like an embedded axe as you described.
They kept me medicated overnight, so that was helpful, but I really missed my puppies.
This is an absolutely horrible story, and I feel so bad for you. Hopefully, you have learned a valuable lesson here. Unless you have something totally 100% for certain sure, never ever never ever mess with your back. Nothing good will come of it. Take that medical advice from a true hypo homo. 🙂 Thank goodness for your mother and the good news from the test.
Feel better!!
I will try to remember that very reasonable advice for the future! My poor Mom would probably agree with you. She could barely read the story without reliving the trauma herself. Watching your baby suffer, at any age, is no fun at all.
I missed your post last week. So sorry to hear you’ve been so poorly. Totally agree with dogs on the wards though. Dogs provide their own therapy, and it works so much better than pills!
Now if we could just have the pills AND the dogs, life would be perfect!
I totally agree about dogs. Some are therapy dogs and do wonders for patients. Our own would shed hair everywhere but they’d make me feel so much better. I hope you feel better soon. Take good care!
Goldens are all about the shedding, they’d need a special room for all the hair, but wouldn’t those sweet faces be worth all the trouble?
I have to agree. I work with the public and they give me attitude all the time. Once I met some of my nastiest clients while i was walking my pooches and they were the nicest people! No amount of anger or resentment can defeat the unconditional love of those furry faces!
Puppies rule!
Oh my God, you poor thing, what a NIGHTMARE!! I often wonder if people who work in the medical profession actually know what they’re doing – it sounds like those doctors of yours had been on the Columbian marching powder themselves. Dogs would do a better job and be a lot more caring.
I’m not sure I would trust Cricket with needles, she’s dangerous enough with teeth, but she was so good about looking after me when I wasn’t feeling well. It’s good to know she has it in her!
wow Rachel, that’s intense. well written and with your unfailing humor but still. maybe a little skeptical next time your doctor(s) suggest a procedure to rule something out? thank god for your mom and your dogs! be well, stay cool.
I put off the LP for years, waiting until it was the last possible option. oh well. I’ll just have to leave it up to Cricket and Butterfly to come up with a diagnosis and a treatment plan. It will probably involve chicken.
So glad that’s over with and done for you! And you’re back home with the pups!
I’m so glad too! Thank you!
I had noticed you were missing! Sorry to hear about your awful ordeal, it sounds really scary and painful. I’m glad you are on the mend and have such excellent nurses in your Mom, Cricket and Butterfly! Stay well.
I knew Mom and Butterfly had the nursing genes, but finding out that Cricket could give tlc was a shock, and a very welcome one.
They always know when we feel bad I think. Lily senses my mood always.
Hi Rachel,
Life is mysterious how it brings “surprises” that compel us to endure unforeseen dramas, and pain. Butterfly was so precious letting your mother know she understood you needed your sock (and she could bring it with her loving presence). Love is all, at the bottom and top of everything; Love is all.
Miss Butterfly always surprises me! She’d never picked up one of my socks before that day, and has left them alone since I’ve been home. But both days I was away, she was carrying my socks with her out on her walks.
That’s beautiful. We have such a deep bond with these angel animals.
What a story! Brutal. So glad the results were all negative and you are feeling better. Amen.
Thank you!