Two weeks ago, on Thursday, I came home after five PM and noticed Butterfly standing by the door and panting. When she tried to sit down, she yelped. I checked for the bump on her lower belly that usually causes these symptoms, and it was not only there, it was bigger and harder than usual. These attacks make me nervous because Butterfly’s health is already fragile, with diabetes, and heart trouble, and a persistent cough keeping us perpetually on alert. But most of the time the panting and discomfort, and even the hernia/bump on her lower belly, passes in a few hours. We watched her carefully and gave her extra cuddles, but when we took the dogs out for their late evening walk, Butterfly threw up three times, in purple. I brought her back inside and put her on my bed so I could keep an eye on her, but she couldn’t find a comfortable position. I sat with her and scratched her back as she drooled a river on my bed, and after a while she calmed down enough to decide she wanted to walk down her doggy steps and search for a sip of water and a more interesting place to sleep. I thought that was a good sign.
“I’m fine, Mommy, this is just how I breathe.”
When I woke up in the morning, I expected her to be back to her healthy-ish self, but instead she was listlessly resting her head on her paws, facing the front door of the apartment, next to a drying puddle of pee. Both dogs were scheduled to go to the groomer that morning, and Cricket was blinded by hair and smelled awful, so we dropped Cricket off for her haircut, and took Butterfly directly to the vet for an emergency visit. The people at the front desk were a little snotty with us for not calling ahead, until an hour later when the doctor did an ultrasound on Butterfly’s bump and it became clear that her intestines were compromised and she needed immediate surgery.
We were very lucky that Butterfly’s vet was still there. We had assumed that she would already be gone, and we had said our final goodbyes at Butterfly’s last regular appointment, but it turned out that Butterfly had her emergency just in time, on her doctor’s second to last day at the clinic. In the past, the doctor had discouraged even dental cleanings because Butterfly’s oversized heart would be too vulnerable under anesthesia, but this time she said it was worth the risk. Without surgery, part of Butterfly’s intestines could die and that would kill her just as surely as the anesthesia could.
I held Butterfly in my arms and sang her the Misheberach song, a Jewish prayer for healing, and then I handed her to her doctor. I used up a box full of tissues at the front desk and in the car on the way home, trying not to think that I might never see my baby again.
The doctor called within the hour to tell us that Butterfly was doing well on the anesthesia, but they would need to do a second incision so she would be under longer.
Mom went out to pick up Cricket from the groomer while I did busy work to keep my mind as blank as possible. Cricket returned looking skinny and clean and confused. She was still recovering from her anti-anxiety medication, and the trauma of grooming, but I think the worst part was that her sister wasn’t home to sniff her butt and listen to her plight.
“What is going on?!”
The second call from the doctor came an hour and a half later. Butterfly had survived her surgery and was waking up from the anesthesia, and they wanted advice on what to try and feed her, because her blood sugar was low and she was refusing all of their treats. Even chicken. The relief was extraordinary. The numbness that had taken over my whole body started to recede and instead of crying or something else more reasonable, I started laughing. My baby had survived!
I felt like there was a GPS muttering in my head all that day, “Recalculating, recalculating.” The relief that Butterfly had actually survived the anesthesia was replaced with anxiety when the doctor called again later to say that she wanted Butterfly to spend the night at an emergency veterinary hospital, where a doctor could keep an eye on her, and her breathing. The clinic would only have a technician on duty overnight and the doctor was concerned that if something went wrong, no one would be there to help. She didn’t specify what might go wrong, and she made it clear that the night at the hospital would be very expensive, but she didn’t leave much doubt about the right course of action.
The doctor brought Butterfly out to us, drugged and blurry, and gave us directions to the emergency veterinary hospital twenty minutes away. I held Butterfly in my arms in the front passenger seat of the car while Mom drove, and I listened to Butterfly’s raspy breathing, trying to buffer each bump of the road (she lifted her sleepy head once or twice to let me know that I wasn’t doing a good enough job with that). I could still hear the GPS voice in my head, “recalculating, recalculating.”
As soon as we reached the emergency veterinary hospital, a technician took Butterfly from us, and we had to sit in the waiting room and wait to hear from the doctor on duty. We’d assumed we would just be dropping her off, so the long wait was one more surprise. We finally saw a doctor after eleven PM, and she said that she could hear a crackling sound in Butterfly’s lungs, and wanted to do an x-ray. More waiting. I tried to read the books they had around the room (dog books, of course), but I was worried about Cricket sitting at home alone, needing to pee, barely recovered from her day of anti-anxiety medication and grooming and loneliness.
The x-rays turned out okay, thank God, and then we had to pay the exorbitant estimated bill in order to have the right to visit Butterfly one more time and say goodnight. They led us to a roomful of kennels, set up like high rise apartments, filled with sleepy dogs attached to IVs. As soon as the technician opened the door of her first floor kennel, Butterfly walked out, still attached to her IVs but ready to go home. I tried to explain to her that she needed to stay overnight, but she did not believe me. The technician had to put her back in the kennel for us, because Mom and I were both afraid to risk pulling out one of the tubes she was attached to. And then we finally left, after midnight.
Once again, I had to take deep breaths and tell myself not to think too far ahead. It was a long ride home. Cricket, as predicted, was losing her mind and full of pee. We took her out for a late walk and then we all tried to settle down and get some semblance of a night’s sleep, but even Cricket found the No-Butterfly feeling of the apartment disconcerting.
“I have nothing to say.”
The next day, we paid the rest of the exorbitant emergency vet hospital bill and took a seriously drugged Butterfly (they put her on Methadone!) back to her doctor at the clinic.
Not only did we have to say good bye to Butterfly, again, we had to say goodbye to her doctor, who really was leaving this time.
We had a second night of no Butterfly at home, but at least we knew she was healthy enough to stay at the clinic overnight. The next morning, a new doctor called to tell us that we could pick Butterfly up that afternoon, because she had been taken out for a walk and managed a soft poop. The only trouble was that she still wasn’t eating, and they hoped coming home would reduce her anxiety enough so she would eat.
As soon as the technician brought her out and put her paws on the floor, Butterfly led the way to the exit, even with the Elizabethan collar making the walls hard to spot. We had a bagful of medications to give her and a list of things to do and not do: do not give her kibble; do not give her a bath; do not let her walk up and down the stairs; do give her chicken and rice; pick her up carefully so as not to press on the staples closing her incisions; keep her belly away from magnets (okay, maybe they left that one out, but I really think they should have mentioned it).
“I can walk myself.”
“Where have you been and did you get extra treats that I didn’t get?”
“I do not like this hat, Mommy.”
She still wasn’t ready to eat by the time her nighttime meds were needed, so we crushed the pills in peanut butter, and then spread the mixture, bit by bit, on to her lips. An hour later, her face and my clothes (and the couch and the rug) were covered in peanut butter, but it’s possible that some of the medicine actually got into her system.
Oy.
She started eating chicken and rice the next morning, and took the pills that I broke up and hid clumsily in her food. Then I had to cut off the peanut butter hair left on her chin (whatever she hadn’t managed to rub on the floor herself), and some of the hair around her hygienic areas as well, because she was getting a bit stinky.
Butterfly still had two rows of staples on her belly, and this funny hairless ring on her right front ankle, where they’d put in the IV, and she was a bit slow moving and still on pain medication, but she made the most of my unwillingness to pull on the leash of an invalid. Out on her walks, she started a new habit of walking ten steps in one direction, stopping short, looking around, and then taking ten or fifteen steps in the other direction, just to see if she could get away with it. She could.
This anklet is the height of fashion. Really.
Ouch.
She’s Home.
Within a few days, she was off her pain meds and back to licking the hand that petted her, and spreading her food in ever widening circles from her bowl (which is much messier with soft rice than it is with hard kibble). She started to walk faster, and then to jog, but she still didn’t think I had any right to control her leash and she made that very clear.
On Wednesday of this past week, not quite two weeks after her surgery, Butterfly went to the doctor and had her staples removed, and celebrated by trying to run all the way home. She’s still not allowed to climb the stairs, and bath time has to be put off for another week, but she thinks she’s all better. She also thinks that now that her belly has been reinforced with extra stitches, she should be allowed to widen her diet to include French fries and pizza, but this is unlikely. I can be stubborn too. She’s a very good teacher.
“Mommy, you learned the wrong thing.”
rachelmankowitz 
So sorry to hear about Butterfly’s health troubles! I am very glad however that everything is turning out okay for her! It’s heartbreaking when your pooch has health troubles 😦
The relief was extraordinary! Thank you!
Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry Butterfly had to go through all of that. I’m so glad she is feeling better. Prayers as she continues to heal.
~ hugs and cuddles, Margret
She’s getting ready to run a marathon. I hope she doesn’t mind running it alone, though, because I really need a nap.
Oh, Rachel–I was on an emotional roller coaster here. I am so happy things are looking up and, mostly, that Butterfly is back home. Cricket missed her little sister….that was the heart warmer. Hugs and good wishes that she is all better now and can have some pizza and French fries. 🙂
If there’s any pizza on offer, I’m pretty sure Cricket is going to steal it out of Butterfly’s paws. Now that everyone is healthy, personalities have returned to form.
Frightening for you all, so glad she is ok. X
Thank you!
Very happy to hear that Butterfly is mending! And sounds like she is a real trooper.
She’s doing great! Thank you!
Poor Butterfly. She’ll recover fully though because she’s got spunk.
She is so much sassier than she looks!
She is a cutie for sure.
Glad you’re well again, Butterfly! ❤
She’s pretty proud of herself.
Oh my what a scare. I am so happy to read that Butterfly is doing so much better after the surgery. Best wishes and hugs from the ZAB team.
Thank you! It’s so nice to be able to breathe again.
I can imagine. Healing wishes. A
What a distressing roller-coaster you have all been through. Butterfly is lucky to have you to care for her so devotedly, and I am so glad she has come through this ordeal.
Thank you!
So glad Butterfly made it through and is her resilient self. HAve been through much heartache with dogs as they age, but we have no choice when we love them so much. Much love to you and your pups.
Thank you! Butterfly seems to be under the impression that she’s a youngster.
So glad Butterfly’s ok. Those emergency vet hospitals are the worst, although I’m glad they’re there. But expensive???!!!!
Any day now, they’re going to add our bank account routing numbers to the micro chips they put in our dogs. It’s coming.
I know, right?
I’m so glad Butterfly is ok, what an ordeal for you! I think she deserves one or two french fries, xx
She agrees with you!
So glad that Butterfly made it through her surgery! It’s so scary when our critters hurt since they can’t tell us what’s wrong.
Miss Butterfly is good at telling me when something is wrong, but neither one of us has a clue what to do about it. We were so lucky to have such good doctors this time. Fingers crossed, we will always be this lucky.
I’m so glad she’s ok and her vet was still there! Hugs to you all!
Thank you!
What an ordeal1 My stomach was churning while I read. so glad she is okay.
The hardest part was watching Butterfly say no to food. I mean, whose dog is that?!
So glad she is doing better…it is so scary to watch them helplessly!!
Thank you!
I’m so sorry your little Butterfly had to go through this ordeal. I’m glad she is back home and hope she recovers completely very soon. Last year Tide had two lumps removed one was just a fatty lipoma in his side but the one on his hind leg near the rump was a cancer. The dr got it all and he has bee n fine fine since but such an ordeal. He kept tearing his staples out and having anxiety attacks over the neck ring. Finally I discovered a t the pet store a foam neck ring that was soft and had a velcro closure that was adjustable that he would tolerate. I am wishing the best, it is so upsetting to both the little pup and Mommy to go through this! I know!! ❤
Thank God Butterfly didn’t try to chew her staples! I know this situation could have been so much worse, and I am so grateful things went the way they did.
Me too, it’s so scary!
Poor sweet baby. I’m so glad she’s home!
Thank you!
You’re most welcome!
So glad Butterfly is better now. I’m rooting for her from Texas. Isn’t it amazing what we can learn from our wonderful pets?
Thank you! Miss B has a way of teaching that just feels like love.
Thank God!
Poor little Butterfly and poor you for all the worry and ordeal. So glad she is better.
Thank you!
I’m glad to hear that Butterfly is so stubborn, because that’s probably why she’s still with you ❤️
I totally agree!
Well thank goodness for her stubborn streak! And Cricket was very brave guarding the house, too. So glad they both pulled through their respective ordeals and all is back to normal – with maybe a slightly higher cuddle quotient for the moment (never a bad thing).
Cricket has quickly returned to her “Sister? I have no sister!” attitude, but we all know better; she was forlorn without her Butterfly.
So very, very thankful there was a good outcome to this … here’s to many more healthy and happy days ahead for all of you!
Thank you!
I am so glad your baby is OK! I was in tears of sympathy reading about your visits. I hope Butterfly feels much better and happier now.
She is recovering so much faster than I would have imagined possible!
I am so happy for you! We love them so much. It is just painful to go through the anxiety of them hurting at all.
Thank you! Miss Butterfly has taught me that the painful parts are worth it, because of the wonderful parts of having her in my life.
I was seriously on the verge of tears. I’m so glad she’s okay. Have been the emergency vet route with one of my former dogs and remember how costly it was. But Butterfly’s okay!!! Yaaaa! Now I’ll cry.
Thank you so much!
What an ordeal for all of you. I’m so glad you found good medical care! I’m even happier that she has recovered!
Me too! Thank you!
Butterfly is a trooper, and what a relief that she is better.
I am happy for all of you. Bless your hearts…I can identify with your feelings.
Thank you so much!
I am glad that everything is working out ok and I am happy that I found your blog.
Thank you!
I am fully aware of that gut churning distress one feels when their dog is seriously ill Rachel. I am relieved to hear that gorgeous Butterfly is making a recovery. With the diabetes, Butterfly will need careful watching and care, which I am sure you will provide. My dog Priscilla is diabetic and it is a roller coaster ride at times. My best wishes to you all. jane
Thank you! Who knew the diabetes would be the easy part?!
The best part of your wonderful writing…hearing that Butterfly is okay and on the road to recovery! Best to all of you!
Thank you so much!
Poor Butterfly. What an ordeal! I’m glad the surgery was a success and that she is healing nicely and things are getting back to normal. 🙂 She is definitively a strong little girl!
Thank you!
So glad that Butterfly is on the mend!
Thank you!
So glad to know Butterfly is OK. Treats and gentle hugs by proxy.
Thank you!
🙂
I was so worried for Butterfly while reading the story. So good she recovered well. Happy walking and playing now.
Thank you!
Phew! What a time! Glad she survived
Thank you!
our furry family is such a worry when they are unwell cause they dant really tell us. I am pleased that butterfly is back with you the only damage bring yo you bank balance .
Thank you!
Oh Butterfly how poorly you were but seeing your vet has made you better. Nose rubs from Benji and we both wish you a speedy recovery and back to your old self again, x x x
Thank you! Butterfly is a big fan of nose rubs!
Glad to hear butterfly is getting better 🐶💕
Thank you!
So sorry for Butterfly’s health troubles and glad that she is better now! I could feel how painful was that night for you!
Thank you!
So glad to hear Butterfly is back home and that the whole experience has not dented her highly spirited nature!😉 She is one tough cookie and how lucky that her ‘old’ vet was still there to get her through this operation. We wish you all well and enjoy every moment you have together 💖🐾🐾
Thank you! We’ve been incredibly lucky the whole way through this situation; most of all, we were lucky to find Butterfly in the first place.
☺💖 xxx
I am so sorry and relieved after reading this harrowing story! Our last Golden died of gastric torsion and I was reliving it as I read. We went home without her and I can say that the only thing worse than a massive vet bill is a bill but a dead dog to show for it! I am so happy that all is well that ends well. I love the photo with the simple caption “oy”. Sums up the whole thing.
I’m so sorry for what you went through! It’s scary how vulnerable these babies are.
Very moving. Wrenching to read. I’m glad things worked out the way they did for Butterfly and wish her a solid recovery. The love in your household …important and magical. I hope the spaciousness of our western prairie sends healing energy of the Rockies and the plains your way. Blessings to you all.
Thank you so much! Butterfly would love to have all of that space to wander in!
I’m so happy all’s well!
Thank you!
When our dogs have had surgery, I felt like you. So many emotional ups and downs. Meanwhile the poor dog has no idea of what is going on, especially with the after surgery restrictions. Love to you, your mom, and your dogs.
Thank you! Miss Butterfly was so well drugged, she missed most of the action.
Thanks also for the idea of calling it an Elizabethan ruff. So much classier than the lamp shade we named it.
Ha!
I’m glad your pupper is doing well and got through the surgery a-okay. Much love to you and Butterfly from Cady and I.
Thank you so much!
I can’t tell you how worried I was when I first started reading and how relieved I am now! Please give Butterfly big kisses from an online grandma (and Cricket too so she knows I love her just as much!).
Thank you so much!
I am so sorry to hear you and Butterfly had to go through that, having to leave your pup to have surgery is super scary! Glad she is getting better now, and hope her recovery is complete and quick. Prayers for you all!
Thank you so much!
Wow- what a scare and ordeal for all of you! So glad things seem to have worked out ok. These pups are so strong and resilient I’m not surpised your sweet Butterfly came through. Take care.
Thank you!
Sending lots of love x
Thank you!