We started the great dog search before Christmas, because this seemed like the best way to use my vacation (as well as naps, lots and lots of naps). I was still experiencing occasional waves of grief over Miss Butterfly, but I felt a desperate need to at least try to find a second dog, someone small and gentle and loving. Cricket loves me, of course, but not like she loves her Grandma. She greets Grandma, and pines for Grandma, and guards Grandma, and, every once in a while, she comes over to visit with me.
Cricket loves her Grandma
The first shelter we visited was about forty minutes away from where we live, with a friendly staff and separate buildings for different groups of dogs and cats. We walked through a hallway of barking dogs who were all a little, or a lot, too big for us, and then we met a Lhasa Apso. She was white-haired, eight years old, and had cataracts in her eyes, and it all made me stop breathing for a moment because she looked so much like Butterfly, with a bad haircut.
But no one is as cute as my Butterfly was, even on a bad hair day
We left that building pretty quickly and were led over to the infirmary, where the little dogs were recovering from spay and neuter surgeries. There were Chihuahuas, a Pomeranian mix, a Dachshund mix, a senior Shih Tzu, and a Puggle. The Pom mix was adorable, but he snapped at the volunteer who opened his cage, so he wasn’t allowed out to meet us. Instead we visited with Ursula, a one-year-old Puggle. She was adorable, but we happened to have arrived just when the vet tech was filling Kongs with peanut butter, and Ursula was utterly distracted. Freed from her crate and on her own feet, she moseyed over to the tech, sat down, and gradually inched her butt closer and closer to the peanut butter. She was the right size, and terribly cute, but she barely looked at me. I felt like I should wait for some kind of spark, some flash of connection. Just being cute couldn’t be enough.
Of course, I felt guilty leaving her behind, even though the staff assured me that she’d be scooped up in minutes. There’s something awful about looking at abandoned dogs, and judging their looks and age and health and character, and then rejecting them as not the one. It makes me long for the days when I didn’t know about puppy mills, and could walk into a pet store and believe that beautiful puppies just grew on trees.
I built up the nerve to try again a few days later, and we decided to visit the shelter where we’d adopted Butterfly. They have an extensive medical program with subsidized care, so there was a safety net if I bonded with a dog who had some health problems. I’d seen a few small dogs on their website, some poodle mixes and dachshund and terrier types who all seemed around the right size and age to deal with Cricket. It was raining and cold, and we ran from the car with our hoods up to get to the adoptions building. But, because of renovations in progress, the adoptions had been moved to a smaller location, and the line of people waiting to see the dogs was outside and down the block. My emotions were still raw, with the guilt of leaving Ursula behind, and the gnawing pain of No-Butterfly, that the disrespect of making people wait outside in the freezing rain just to get a chance to fight over puppies enraged me. I knew the dogs would all be adopted, or fostered, or kept safe and warm and medically cared for, but I felt like the shelter was telling me that I didn’t deserve to be treated well. And I couldn’t accept that. Mom shrugged and followed me back to the car, and the day devolved from there into a huge pool of self-loathing and hopelessness that even chocolate couldn’t fix.
A few more days later, we heard about a shelter, more than an hour further out on the Island, where they had rescued a hundred small dogs from a hoarding situation. The website only had a few blurry pictures of the dogs in their original home, with no description of breeds or ages or health, but with a hundred dogs, we figured it was worth a try.
When we finally walked into the office, the woman at the front desk barely looked up from her computer and told us to look through the photo album on the desk. The pictures of the dogs were blurry and dark, with names under each picture, but no sexes or ages or descriptions. The first five names I mentioned had already been adopted, but then there was Twinkle. A volunteer brought him out and he was so much tinier than I’d expected. She put him in my arms and he shivered, in fear or cold, I don’t know which, but when I sat down and put him onto the bench next to me, he climbed back into my lap and held onto me. I looked into his eyes and he looked right back at me and then licked my nose. He could have been part Rat Terrier, part Chihuahua, part Schnauzer, but they had no idea. He loved the gentle scratches on his matted grey and brown and black coat. He was so much smaller than I was looking for, but I’d felt that spark, and it wasn’t going away. I asked the woman at the desk if she knew anything else about him, and she looked down at a sheet of paper next to her, and said, he’s nine years old. My heart broke. I’d promised myself, and Mom, that we wouldn’t get another senior dog, at least not this soon after Butterfly.
A volunteer came to take Twinkle back to his cage in the back, and I felt his absence immediately. Then someone turned on the lights in the little room next to us, and it was filled with more of the hundred dogs, but these were in the three to five year old age range. We were allowed to go in and sit with the dogs, still in their crates, and they very loudly asked to be let out. Some of them looked more Schnauzer-like, some more Dachshund-like, some with wiry red hair, and others with soft black hair, but they were all, obviously, related. We visited with a few of the dogs individually, and a staffer explained that the woman must have started out with a handful of strays, and then, since she didn’t spay or neuter, the family grew exponentially. They were an incest family. The dogs were all being adopted out to different families, but the backstory made me uncomfortable. The staffer told us that we’d have to bring Cricket in for a meet and greet, if we wanted to adopt one of the dogs (and no one else already had an application in on that dog), and then we’d have to bring the dog back to be spayed or neutered. They gave us the extensive adoption application and we left, to drive the long way home and think it over.
The trip home was, again, painful. All of the other dogs receded in my mind, except Twinkle. But Mom had serious concerns: not only was he a senior dog, but he’d spent nine years as an un-altered male in a house with no rules, and he might not understand that he couldn’t climb on Cricket; and we had no idea what health issues he might have, or how long he could be expected to live; and they had no subsidized medical program, and even if they did, we couldn’t drive more than an hour each way to make use of it.
I kept dreaming about Twinkle, though, and feeling sick at leaving him behind. I couldn’t figure out if the spark was because of his sweetness, or his neediness. I couldn’t separate out my healthy loving instincts from my possibly pathological ones, and I was overwhelmed. Mom hated watching me suffer, so back online she went, to see if there were any other dogs in the area. She found some prospects at another shelter we’d never heard of, about twenty five minutes away from home. This would be our fourth shelter in a very short period of time, but I was still on vacation, so off we went.
One of the dogs we liked was still available: a seven month old, black haired Miniature Poodle named Traveler. When we arrived and asked to see him, a handler took us to what seemed like someone’s living room, and then brought Traveler in on a leash. He had soft, curly black hair and big black eyes and he sniffed the whole room. I asked if I could sit on the floor with him, and within minutes he had brought over a tennis ball to play with, and started licking my face. When he got tired, he rested his head on my leg, tennis ball firmly in his mouth.
The handler warned us that we shouldn’t bond too much, because the application process would take a while, and the staff would decide who they thought was the best match for the dog, but I wasn’t worried. We filled out the two page application, including phone numbers for our vet, and three personal references, and lots of details about how we would raise the dog, and what our other dogs’ lives had been like, and on and on. In the car on the way home I was already planning the new toys we would buy, and the training classes we would take with Traveler, but I was also still thinking about Twinkle, and wishing I could have both of them. They would balance each other out, I said out loud, to which Mom said a big fat no.
Of course we didn’t get Traveler, but it took two weeks for the phone call to come telling us that he’d gone to another family. In the mean time I’d found out that Ursula and Twinkle had both found homes, and I was back in school and busy with work. I wondered if maybe the universe was telling me I wasn’t ready, but then the loneliness hit me again and I went back on Petfinder to look for more possibilities.
We brought Cricket with us to visit one dog at a PetSmart adoption event, but while the dog was adorable, he was completely uninterested in us, and barely even sniffed Cricket, which I took as a personal affront.
“Harrumph.”
I kept finding dogs at more and more shelters I’d never heard of, all over Long Island and in Queens and the Bronx and Brooklyn and Manhattan, but each rescue had their own application, and each one was more intrusive than the last. One rescue organization, in its online application, asked for a picture of your driver’s license and the names you use as aliases on social media. We applied for another dog in Queens, a black and white Maltese Shih-Tzu mix, but she was adopted before we could even finish the extensive application process.
We didn’t go through any of this when we adopted Miss Butterfly five years ago, because she happened to be eight years old, with health issues, and yet she was the one I wanted. Now that I want a younger, healthier dog, I see how competitive the Rescue market has become, and how much power the Rescues have to determine who qualifies as worthy. Adoption fees are much higher, applications are longer and more intrusive, and you’re still not guaranteed the dog you met and fell in love with, because someone else is, in the eyes of the Rescue’s staff, better suited to care for that particular dog.
In theory, this is progress. It means that people have learned to adopt, not shop, and fewer dogs are ending up in kill shelters; but it also leaves the power to decide who’s worthy of a dog in the hands of fewer people, people who have their own prejudices about what makes a good dog owner (able to afford higher adoption fees, owning a home with a fenced in yard, etc). I wonder if it’s like this across the country, or it’s specific to the northeastern US, or even just to Long Island.
It almost feels like it’s not worth the effort. I look at other people who walk into a pet store and leave with the exact puppy they were looking for, less than an hour later, or I think about Cricket’s breeder, who was friendly and responsible and raised the puppies in her home, with their Mom, and I wonder why I’ve committed to rescue a dog at all. But I know it’s because of Butterfly, and wanting no dog to have to go through what she did for her first eight years, producing puppies in a puppy mill. But all of these applications and rejections feel personal, and my inferiority complex, and guilt complex, and every other complex, is being kicked up like a dust storm that is going to choke me any day now.
I feel like I need twenty-four hour a day therapy to get through this process, or better yet a therapy dog, but Cricket doesn’t want the job. I have a sneaking suspicion that Cricket has been calling the Rescues to say, no, no, we’re not really interested. That would explain a lot.
“Who me?”
rachelmankowitz 
2 years after my Murphy crossed his rainbow bridge my Lily and I browsed the dogs whenever we went to PetsMart. But they were all in cages and lunged at us, their adoptive persons laughing. Then one day there was Lulu standing so still in her cage. We fostered her for a week (we could not tell a thing in the pet store, loud, distracting). When I brought her in she immediately confiscated all the toys and appropriated all the beds. 2 years later she and Lily have worked an amicable compromise. The application was 7 pages demanding all kinds of information and references, former/current vets, etc. so I think you are doing very well to begin. That, for me was the hardest part.
It’s an extraordinary process.
ekurie, I could not have said it better — Rachel, sending you my best during these difficult times…
Thank you!
Our little Sadie was the shaky scared dog at the shelter that hugged my arm. She still does when she gets nervous. You will find your dog. I know you will. I enjoyed reading about your search.
Thank you!
So sorry you are going through this. Strength and blessings.
Thank you!
Oh, Rachel–I picture Cricket getting on the phone with the Rescue volunteer: “Yes. Two women. Say they’re looking for a small dog. They’re not. They’re over it. Good-bye.” I keep going back and forth about getting another cat for Parker. I want a senior male, like Teemu. My husband wants a kitten, which is how we got Parker. But I think Parker is happy to have both of us all to herself. I am conflicted.
Cricket is conflicted too.
I live in Kansas and have two therapy cats for adoption. One is 11 and one is 4 both spayed females. if you might be interested there is no fee to you. ratspeak@Gmail.com is my email. just in case. I am autistic and about five mos ago I developed a fear of my cats that I cannot explain. I cannot have them free in the house now. I am gutted. I want to find them great homes.
I’m so sorry but I am allergic to cats. I hope they find wonderful homes.
I am so sorry to hear this. I’m in Florida so there is a bit of a distance….Surely someone will open their heart and their home to these little ladies.
I wish you luck with this process! We got Halo (bunny) from our local Halo shelter, but were not actually looking for a bunny to adopt – merely curious about how they worked and what was available…. We’d previously had bunnies, Nessie being the last, and when the workers at Halo heard about that they asked us to take Halo and his elder bunny, brother for free because they’d been at the shelter for 3 months and everyone wanted cats and dogs. Since we knew they would be put down, if we didn’t take them, it was not a big choice.
This has no real correlation to what you are experiencing, but I think the message is that when the time is right, you’ll find the right one.
Good luck!
Thank you!
So glad you are taking your time to make a balanced decision. It took awhile after my Buddy dog passed to make sure I was not making an overly emotional choice when picking another dog/family member. Bella has turned out to be a blessing because I stopped and thought through all the variables.
It’s such a hard transition.
Our rescue also made us fill out reams of paper. I found the process demeaning and aggravating. You’ll know when you are really ready, and when you find “the one”
I hope so. Thank you!
Here in our state there are lots and lots of dogs still looking for a forever home. Most shelters are still kill-shelters because they can’t find good homes for all of them. There are even organizations that will transport them to states that seem to have a shortage.
That’s just amazing, and so confusing.
Ooh! I am so excited to think that somewhere there is a little dog who does not know it yet, but is going to end up with the most fantastic home! The application work can be harder but I would always prefer to ‘adopt not shop.’ We used to live near a (very good) rescue centre and would hear the dogs at night barking out for company. Luckily we have a law here which limits two dogs per household (without extensive extra paperwork) or I would have taken about six home with me on my first visit. I had a similar ‘Twinkle’ experience – it is sooo hard. Good luck and I look forward to the day when I see the title, ‘Cricket Says Yes’ in my feed. 🙂
I’m looking forward to that day too. Thank you!
I agree, the rescue organizations have very invasive applications, and some require a home inspection. I have gotten a couple of great dogs through Craig’s list. Good luck; you’ll find the right pup eventually.
Thank you!
I’m sat here at 2am with a sore stinging, scratchy throat and tears rolling down my face dropping off and blotting the floor 😦 Bear in mind this is me – the most cold, hard-faced soul-less witch that doesn’t cry and cuts everything off almost clinically – you’ve achieved something right there that’s remarkable.
Seriously though Rachel I don’t know you and others like you do it. I couldn’t walk through as a visitor with long lines of kennels and dogs that were all equally innocent, deserving and in need of a loving home it would break my heart and stay with me like a huge cloud clogging my thoughts.
Fortunately we don’t see the same level and on such a vast scale like that in the UK and we’re fortunate enough to work with a rescue that doesn’t allow people to pick the dogs they like or see them. They don’t have photos or information about the dogs either. They get all the info and speak at length with people looking to foster a dog and might not get back for weeks or months but when they do it’s to say there’s one they think might be a good match.
You’ll be completely overwhelmed if you put yourself through more soul-destroying visits to see a snippet of dogs and I wonder if you should step a back, re-evaluate and almost “advertise” yourself if you will.
Just printing off this post and sending copies to local shelters with a handwritten note that says “Please read and contact me if you know the dog I’m looking for and has been waiting for me”
You will find one another no matter. Don’t make it harder by fogging up the glass though Cricket is maybe giving you a nudge and saying “Oi.. hey you. I’m here” 🙂
Cricket gives me that nudge every few minutes, just in case.
Puddi gave me the nudge when I was sobbing my heart out at having just had my Springer put to sleep. She nudged me with a golf ball she’d nicked from the angry chaps shouting after us to give it back.
Such a weird thing because it was totally out of character – she never did anything like that but timed it perfectly and deliberately with this goon face “C’mon… c’mon they’re gonna catch up in a minute we better leg it c’mon stop blubbering and get a wiggle on we’re being chased!!”
Cricket seems much more chilled and happier with the quieter life. Maybe she just wants to enjoy the quieter life hanging out with you doing nothing in particular and enjoying that. Fleet is like Cricket in that sense he’s happy just being with you. Incredible how switched on dogs are and seem to know what to do.
When my daughter’s hamster died a few months ago she cried her little heart out and Fleet snuggled himself right by her and just “I’ll sit here with you if you’re sad.. we’ll stay here”
And then there’s the goon causing trouble and leaving us crouched behind reeds hiding from angry golfers.
Dogs are wonderful people.
We went through this with a Siamese rescue years ago. I hung in there with the application process, only to get rejected because a cat had not worked out and they wouldn’t accept it was circumstances beyond my control (cat needed to be an only child, which was not our situation). I finally gave up on it and got a kitten from a breeder. The concept is good, but the execution is not.
It’s a very hard situation, and there are really wonderful breeders out there who would never hurt an animal. Hopefully things will iron out over time.
Goodness Rachel, what a process. Certainly I had to fill out an application form about the house and yard and fence and I enclosed a letter from my my Vet, but that all took minutes and once my identity ( driver’s License) was confirmed, I left with the dog called Deago. I changed his name to Benji. And this is not just here in country town, this is quite normal. Same process when I adopted Angus ( The Man) over 20 years ago. I read this post and I was concerned, not just for you and Grandma but for the dogs, because if this keeps up, people will close their mind off to puppy farm problems and go back to them,leaving shelter dogs to be put down, and that is a concern – don’t you think??
That’s a very big concern. I agree. I hope it gets better before people lose patience with the whole process.
When Chicki and I first met at the shelter, she didn’t seem interested in me at all, but it took all of five minutes for that to change. Now, we are inseparable.I do hope you find and get the dog you want.
Me too. Thank you!
I’m so sorry! I clearly remember the stress of the adoption process with Cosmo. Our littlest, Xena Warrior Princess, comes from the Unconditional Love Pet Rescue (http://www.unconditionallovepetrescue.org/info/index). We had a wonderful experience with them. They were thorough without being intrusive and it was clear that they love their dogs and just want to find them good homes.
Thank you!
I can feel how emotionally draining this process is, having gone through an abbreviated version recently.
I adopted my 5-year-old pit bull in December. The application was similar to what you describe, and the staff made the decision of the best fit (but the application was of comparatively reasonable length and invasiveness). They did call my old vets. My Rebar was heart worm positive and the rescue society was paying for his treatment. When I went to pick him back up after his treatment, the worker revealed that one of the reasons Rebar went to me was because they needed good ambassadors for pit bulls and, “No offense, ma’am, but you don’t look like the typical pit bull owner.” That made me laugh. I guess I don’t. May the powers of love align in your search.
Thank you!
Don’t give up. You’ll get there. Tell Cricket to put down the phone and let you get on with finding the right match. Let it take the time it takes. Thinking of you all.
Thank you! Cricket would probably take three bags of chicken treats in exchange for the phone. No, five bags, big ones.
Oh, what a hard thing to deal with. Heart-breaking. But one day you’ll find your dog.
Thank you! I hope so.
What a heartbreaking post! I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Regarding the competitive rescue process, I think that is partially the area you live in. There aren’t nearly as many shelters in driving distance from my house! But I can completely understand your feelings of rejection and the low-self esteem thing, as I suffer similarly myself. We lost our Spunky, who we adopted as a senior dog, all too soon, and my husband Steven says no more senior dogs, although we came close to taking a couple of old pooches a couple months ago. We really can’t afford a dog right now, but I am dying to have a pet again, so I am saving my pennies. Sorry for the long comment, but I hope you find your new fur baby soon! God bless you for being committed to rescue!
Thank you! I feel like I’ve developed an addiction to senior dogs, because every time I see a dog I want, he or she turns out to be nine or ten years old. I’ve had to be very harsh with myself about this.
I like dogs that are a little older, that is past the puppy stage. the older I get, the more I think it is appropriate I adopt an older dog. But we’ll see what dog I end up with when I finally adopt again. I’m looking forward to meeting yours when you do!
Me too!
Aw I sympathise with you! It seems some rescues have made it so hard to adopt you wonder do they actually Want to home their animals?
Don’t give up – the perfect little dog for your family is out there somewhere. Good Luck! 🙂
I hope so. Thank you!
I can imagine how upsetting it is to keep trying to adopt, and being rejected. Perhaps it is a sign, that one dog is enough for now?
Best wishes, Pete.
Cricket agrees with you!
Oh Rachel, this is such a sad post, but in a positive way to an extent. Dog shelters always make me sad as I want to bring them all home and know I can’t.
I am certain you will find an adorable little dog who will love you, your Mom, and Cricket in the not too distant future. I can just feel it. Dogs choose us, and you’ve said it yourself, you feel that little spark. Thinking of you.
Thank you!
It’s a hard decision. Like children we can’t just send them back if they turn out to be a bad apple. It’s a real commitment as you know so well! Good luck. Rachel
Yes, you can. See the story below. Kali was adopted before we got her and brought back because she was “too wild”. She was wild but when she figured out that she was staying, she calmed down and is wonderful now.
Hi, my point is meant for true animal lovers, once we get an animal “giving them back” is not an option. They are not furniture. Thank you for your story, I know it happens and is very sad. I”m glad she found you.
Thank you!
Always a pleasure !
We got Kali at a PetSmart. They let a rescue organzation use some space there. The PetSmart has to do things right because PetSmart corporate HQ is a short walk away and they never know what bigwig will pop in. It took an hour to get her, most of the time was walking around the store with her and seeing if she was the one.
Here’s Kali:
https://i2.wp.com/kylascott.files.wordpress.com/2017/11/kalitilt.jpg?ssl=1&w=450
An hour is awesome! And of course Kali was a brilliant choice!
I wonder if it is because of where you live? My grandkids went to a PetSmart adoption event near us and came home with a wonderful crazy Chihuahua?Pomeranian mix(so they guessed.) So I am not sure about the length of your process. Timmy(called The Timster for his attitude)was 2 years old and healthy.
I’m getting the sense that a lot of it is about where I live, because the market for rescue dogs is huge here.
That is curious. Do people care more there? I can’t believe the ordeal that put your through. I could understand professional pure bred breeders quizzing you. We had to go through a process with our Australian Shepherd from Schenectady, but not a rescue.
I think there’s a lot of money around here, and that plays a role.
Thanks. That makes sense. There sure isn’t in Hartford.
Such a great post on how to thoughtfully adopt a pet. Animals are a lifetime commitment so it’s important to make an informed decision, not a snap decision.
Thank you!
Here in Texas the county shelters are full of dogs, and I am sorry to say they aren’t picky at all about adopting them out, but I would not want to have to fill out all those lengthy applications either.
I did want to foster a dog for a military person being stationed overseas, but I did not qualify for that because I don’t have a fenced yard. I have a creek, a pond, and plenty of dirt to dig in so it is dog heaven around here, but that didn’t fit their profile.
I hope you can find your perfect new roommate without too much trouble!
Thank you! What a wonderful idea to foster a dog for someone in the military!
This is poignant, given my recent Buddy saga. And it’s too bad about Twinkle…if he were small as you say, Cricket would have firmly put him in his place if he tried any funny business. His coloring and fur as you described them sound like he had Yorkie in him.
Toro (my previous chihuahua) was a 10 year old rescue who had (apparently) been used as a stud. He was fixed by the rescue organization, but he still thought it was his duty to try. The girls (I had three dogs when I found Toro) firmly put him in his place and after a time he quit the behavior for the most part. He died in 2015 when the chihuahua tracheal collapse syndrome got so severe that it was cruel to let him suffer.
You’ll find the right one in time. Just don’t ignore the next spark..sometimes the animal isn’t a perfect fit, but I suspect you’ll find the answer. Best wishes in your search.
Thank you!
Shelters have left me feeling emotionally raw as well. It’s hard to see all those needy dogs and not be able to take them all home. I’ve shed a lot of tears. You have a big heart with a dog-sized hole in it, and I’m sure it will find its way to being filled.
Thank you!
I’m sorry that your search has been painful. I’m certain that you, your mom and Cricket will be the perfect family for some little soul out there, just as you were for Miss Butterfly. Have you checked out the Posh Pets website? (poshpetsrescue.org) They are a little different from the places you’ve visited in that the small dogs are not kept in a facility but rather live with foster families. I’ve fostered quite a few myself. I will admit that their application process can be stringent, but they are just trying to find the family that best fits the dog. I wish you good luck!! The universe will let know.
Thank you!
God, that sounds like a nightmare! It’s good that the shelters take care to make sure the dogs go to a good home, but it sounds like some of them go a bit overboard with the paperwork. I found Millie on my local greyhound rescue website so fortunately I didn’t have to go through the painful process of seeing dogs in a shelter. However, they did want to do a home visit and the home checkers were an hour late turning up at my house, which added to the stress of waiting to be approved.
Have you thought of fostering for a while? That way you’d get to meet different dogs in your own home and see how they get on with Cricket, and one of them might just turn out to be THE one. It would also help you build a relationship of trust with a shelter. I fostered 8 dogs (one after the other, not all at once) from Greyhound Rescue Wales and found it very rewarding. Pearl was the 9th foster dog, and now she’s with me and Millie for good!
Wow! That’s certainly something to think about.
Sending you love, Rachel. I’m sorry this has been such a difficult journey.
Thank you!
I’m glad that you feel like you are ready to open your heart and home to another dog that needs you. It’s too bad the process is so long and arduous and that you can fall in love with one, like Traveler, and then not get to bring him home. I’m glad that I didn’t have to go through that to get Tippy. Hang in there. I hope you find the right fit for you and Cricket soon.
Thank you!
This just means the right one is still out there. After I lost Lexi I decided to adopt another schnauzer, and did the same kind of things you have been doing, only not quite that extensively. The rescue closest to us (still about 6 hours away) rejected my application after a phone interview. Huh? The next thing I knew, Lucy unexpectedly came into our lives, and I found out her role was both to help my heart heal and to fill a need for my husband. That healing went on until after the anniversary of Lexi’s death, when I finally felt ready to get another schnauzer puppy from a great breeder. Enter Xena. I know now it has all been in God’s time.
There was something very schnauzer like about Twinkle’s face and I thought of Lexi and Xena right away. If I can be half as lucky as you’ve been with Lucy and Xena, I will be thrilled.
Yep. Sometimes God doesn’t give us what we think we want, but what we need, which was the case with Lucy and her sweet, loving ways.
You are not alone. Before we adopted Detroit, we were rejected by several rescue organizations (because we did not have the right kind of fence or because we had not had a particular breed before, etc.). Jim did not give up, though, and when he saw Detroit’s picture on Petfinder, he said, “She is the one,” and she was. Although she is a Yorkie–chihuahua mix, we got her through a Golden Retriever Rescue (and our home visit included a dog appropriated named Moose). Keep the faith.
I’m trying. Thank you!
Hang in there. Sorry applications are such a drag! You sound like a top candidate to me. =)
Thank you!
Wow, that is amazing the process you have to go through! None of my rescues have been that tough – but they were all from high-kill animal shelters, or just showed up at my door! I am confident that the right dog will turn up for you very soon. (In the meantime, though, take away Cricket’s phone privileges!)
Ha! Cricket seems to find the phone when I’m sleeping, because when I’m awake, I’ve got my eye on her all the time.
I think your hunch about Cricket is correct. Still, you will find somebody, just keep on your search. Our family know what it feels like to be rejected: both cat and dog groups have found one of us wanting; but eventually the right match is made and you get over the bad feelings that have come from rejection.
I hope so. Thank you!
My goodness what a process! They don’t know you at all Rachel. Any dog would be blessed to have you and your Mom and Cricket to call home! And I marvel that where I live there are people who just decide they don’t want a dog anymore and drive it out into the country and drop it off. It’s horrible and breaks my heart. Dobby and Bo both came to me that way, when they were hungry and pitiful from neglect and who knows how long on their own before they came to me. My thoughts are with you for a splendid and loving new member of your family. Take care, suzanne ❤️
That’s so awful! One of the benefits of having so many rescues in the area is that when a family can no longer take care of their dog, there’s a safe place to drop it off.
I know, it’s a terrible thing. When those sweet animals find their way to your home and it’s a safe they are so sweet and grateful. That is a true benefit of the rescues. We are getting more of them here which is a good thing too. One rescue program brings dogs in need of adoption to a large second hand bookshop on certain Saturdays of the month. It’s a fantastic partnership!
What a great idea!
What you say about the rescue process giving power to whichever representative you happen to interact with is true and has been so for many years. It is way too subjective. Over 25 years ago, my brother, sister-in-law, and 4-year old niece went to a shelter in Westchester in search pf two kittens. The woman conducting the interview said they could not have ANY cats because my niece was too hyper and boisterous.. They went to another shelter and were able to adopt two female, kittens. Not only was my niece an excellent big sister to the cats, Katy and Jessica, for 14 more years, and heartbroken when they died while she was away at college, but implrer her parents not to go in search of new cats until summer when she’d be home from school and could go with them. She is now 29 years old and a couple of years ago, kept seeing a small cat hanging around her apartment building. She couldn’t ignore the situation, and although her living situation did not permit her to give it a home, she brought it to her mom and Dad where the cat (Zelda) is now living the good life with their two cats, Pinky and Dudley
What a great story!
I hope your dog finds you soon!!!!
Me too. Thank you!
Your writing is so evocative and vivid. You are going about this search with such integrity and awareness. But it must be so hard. Chin up!
Thank you so much!
If you want to get a purebred from a breeder, do NOT feel guilty about it. We couldn’t adopt, we don’t have a fence and that pretty much eliminated us from any rescue. We didn’t want a pit bull, and that pretty much eliminated us from the SPCA. We WANTED a Golden Retriever. We got Max from a breeder and I’ve never regretted it, not a puppy mill, a lady whose dogs had one litter per year, who had her dogs on site, and I will not be made to feel guilty for shopping instead of adopting. You and I have as much right to have a dog in our lives as anyone who meets the arbitrary criteria of some rescue group.
Thank you for saying that.
The best shelters and rescue organisations will treat any potential adopters well. The questionnaires have become longer and may appear intrusive because sadly, in the past, not enough questions were being asked. There are people who adopted and subsequently abandoned the dogs in the street, sold them on facebook and gumtree or worse, give them up ‘free to a good home’ when they end up in dog-fighting rings. Shelters have to ask more questions and do home checks, both pre-adoption and post-adoption to avoid these things from happening. Sadly, in their quest to ‘not get it wrong again’ some shelters and rescue groups have forgotten how to treat the potential adopters well and often ignore the importance of a connection between the dog and the human who wants to adopt and any other dogs already in the household. This connection can be instantly felt and forms an important starting point for what can be a long and beautiful relationship 💜
It’s such a difficult situation.
Good luck with your search. I’m sure when you find ‘the one’ it will make all this worthwhile 🙂
Thank you! I hope so!
I feel your pain. I’ve brought them home, only to find that the short ‘meet and greet’ really didn’t mean much, because when we got the dog home, it wouldn’t really jive with the other pets (dog and cats) once we were REALLY living together. And back we’d go to the rescue to return it. It felt painful, but they would learn something: that the animal needed to be with a one animal family…So, in the end, it wasn’t a total loss.
That’s one of the really positive things about rescues; they make it clear that they will always take back a pet.
Oh, my. It really is a shame how difficult it has become to rescue pups! It is also a bit sad to say that farther south there are many pups that go unclaimed. My sister in Savannah, GA found more than enough dogs to choose from, and saved her Woodrow when he was only a day away from euthanasia. I got my Rosie from Lucky Dog Rescue down here in D.C., and they transport dogs from a high-kill shelter in South Carolina. I hope one of these pups finds a way to you!
Thank you!
That is a touching and insightful story.. rescue is good, but has some gotchas in the process.. varies with the group, organization, etc. A friend on Facebook said this is a good group and works with people to get their dogs adopted.. check it out sometime.. https://www.facebook.com/MetropolitanMalteseRescue/
Thank you!
Oh my dog! What a long and tedious process! I never knew how competitive adopting a dog could be! I am impressed with the strength and determination you had to visit all those shelters, it seems like it is very emotionally and mentally draining! I hope you’ll be able to find “the one” soon! (Unless Cricket is sending it out in the Universe that she wants to be the only dog in the house!)
Right now Cricket is sitting on her grandma’s lap and making sure she is the center of all attention (and scratches). She is sending a lot of her energy out to the universe.
It is a tough process, and I am very happy to hear that Twinkle found a home. Thanks for sharing this, it’s all very interesting, too. Best of luck with the search!
Thank you!