I’ve always felt uneasy about giving charity. I can’t figure out which charities to help, or how to be helpful, or how to not feel guilty for all of the other charities I am therefore ignoring. As the Covid-19 pandemic has grown, I’ve watched others act generously, and give generously, and the peer pressure to do the same has been enormous, but still impossible to live up to.
We had a discussion about charity one Friday night at my synagogue, after hearing the results of a study that said the younger generation of Jews (AKA me) are not giving as much money to charity as previous generations. The consensus opinion among the older congregants was that young people don’t understand that charity is an obligation, and therefore they don’t even think about giving, either to their own communities, or to the needy, or to the arts, or medicine. The older congregants remembered their parents setting aside specific times to give Tzedakah to different charitable organizations. They would do this once a year, or once a month, or before major holidays, and they were purposely involved in the process by their parents, in order to teach them that this is an obligation they would need to live up to as adults.
The discussion then veered off into how we could (and should) use peer pressure to encourage people to give more money to charity; how we should purposely press on those guilt buttons and encourage competitive giving, and offer rewards to those who give, because people need to be pushed to do “the right thing.”
And I was left feeling confused, and guilty, and troubled. Because I don’t want to be left to give charity on my own. I don’t have enough money to make a difference, and I don’t want to watch my single coin drop to the bottom of an empty well. I felt like something was missing from this discussion but I couldn’t figure out what it was, at least not right away. I needed to take some time to think about it.
The word charity feels Christian to me, both because it is, and because it is so often paired with the word “Christian,” especially in all of the Christmas movies I inhale in November and December. The Hebrew word Tzedakah, though, has a somewhat different connotation, even though it is often translated as charity. Tzedakah literally means “righteousness” and refers to the religious obligation to do what is right and just. The Torah requires that 10% of a Jew’s income be allotted to righteous deeds and causes.
Except, from where I sit, giving charity is much more complicated than that. For example, in the United States, people can receive tax refunds for giving money to charity, and many corporations see giving charity as good publicity. Does charity given for selfish purposes still count as charity? Does charity given out of guilt still count as righteous?
I don’t think I’m the only person from my generation who has noted the hypocrisy, and been put off by it. But for me, there’s also a more personal set of issues in the way. When I was a child, my father often made a show of putting a twenty dollar bill into the pushka (the tzedakah box) at our synagogue, after weekday morning services, or buying gifts for people at our synagogue that he didn’t really know, or helping other congregants when they were locked out of their cars. And at the same time, he refused to pay the bills at home, or fix things that were broken at home. My mother was often left to seek out hand-me-downs, or to buy furniture at St. Vincent De Paul, or to go to consignment stores and flea markets (though the last two she’d have done anyway), to make sure we had what we needed. And then my father would suddenly give us generous presents, though rarely what we asked for, or needed. At the same time, he spent a lot of money on clothes and shoes and hats and books and classes for himself.
It was very hard for my brother and I to figure out what we could actually afford as a family, and my brother just decided that we were poor, even though in reality we were solidly middle class, given our parents combined incomes, where we lived, and where we went to school, even with scholarships.
In graduate school for social work, I heard a lot about the debate between needs-based and rights-based approaches to poverty. Needs-based thinking leads to charity and philanthropy, or voluntary giving to the “deserving” poor. Rights-based thinking includes changes in government policy, income redistribution, wage floors and cash subsidies, so that poverty can be eradicated and no one is seen as “undeserving.”
As a child, I believed (often incorrectly) that paying taxes would mean lifting everyone up out of the risk of poverty, and creating a social safety net. I thought taxes equaled that ten percent we were required to give to good works, plus some more for roads and bridges. I believed that we paid our taxes so that we could all have our basic needs met. Over time, I started to realize that this wonderful safety net I’d imagined was more like a Swiss cheese umbrella, and I could easily get rained on. I heard screeds against anyone who would apply for disability or Medicaid, like me, instead of pulling themselves up by their bootstraps. And I realized that, in the eyes of a lot of people who did not know me, I would qualify as the “undeserving” poor.
Often, the excuse for not covering the holes in our social safety net is that “charities can handle that.” Except, why would we prefer something as unreliable as charity over obligatory protections?
I think that a big part of why people prefer charity to taxes is that giving charity feels good. I see it in my synagogue all the time. The same people who grumble at having to pay yearly dues (to pay for salaries, building maintenance and repairs, taxes, and other boring things), will gladly give money at a fundraiser, or offer money to charity, or give time as a volunteer. Partially it’s because it looks like generosity, but more often it’s because it feels like generosity. It feels so much better to give a gift that you are not required to give, than to give what is required.
I remember an episode of Law & Order where a man became addicted to giving away his organs. He wasn’t selling them, or selling his blood, or skin, or whatever else he was giving away, but the feeling of giving and of being generous was so intoxicating for him that he couldn’t stop, even when it put his own life at risk. But, he insisted that the person who received his generous gift be “deserving,” and he was the only one who could determine their worthiness. In fact, he felt justified in killing someone in order to re-gift an organ to someone he deemed more worthy. Giving charity gave him the power over life and death, literally.
As, as a child, I would have preferred to have an allowance, or clear guidelines for what I could and could not have, instead of randomly receiving gifts (or charity) from my father, when he wanted to give them. And I feel the same way now. I’d rather know what kinds of support I can rely on, and where it will come from, so that I can plan ahead, and not feel constantly on edge about whether the needed gift will come in time, or whether I even deserve that gift.
In response to Covid-19, at first, the federal government of the United States seemed to be stepping up and taking responsibility for compensation, not just because we needed help, but because we had a right to it. We wouldn’t have to pay for testing, and we could rely on unemployment and subsidies and rent freezes to allow us to stay home as long as necessary. This made sense to me, both because other countries were doing their own versions of the same thing, and because it was clear that our government could have limited the impact of Covid-19, by testing early and often, providing adequate protective equipment to health care workers, and doing contact tracing as soon as the first cases were discovered.
Pretty quickly, though, it became clear that the measures put in place were wildly inadequate, with underfunded and understaffed unemployment plans, and much of the loan money meant to go to small businesses going to companies who had pre-existing relationships with the big banks. And despite those clear failures, congress was unwilling or unable (depending on your perspective) to offer further support. In response, some politicians advocated reopening businesses and throwing senior citizens into the volcano to appease the Covid gods. And then, because we thought things couldn’t possibly get worse, it became clear that the federal government’s already weak response to the coronavirus had dropped precipitously at the same time as studies began to show that poor people and people of color were being disproportionately impacted.
And, as usual, kind and generous people stepped in with charitable organizations to try to fill the gaps. Except, charity means that each individual gets to choose who they want to help, and who they don’t, and many people who needed help were left with nothing.
I have a tendency towards cynicism and hopelessness, expecting failure at every turn, but lately I have been seeing evidence that real change is possible, if you fight for it. I want to learn how to be hopeful and to believe that the current wave of protests and education and political change will take us further than we’ve been able to go in the past. Because honestly, if we don’t make a change soon, I think we’re screwed.
If you haven’t had a chance yet, please check out my Young Adult novel, Yeshiva Girl, on Amazon. And if you feel called to write a review of the book, on Amazon, or anywhere else, I’d be honored.
Yeshiva Girl is about a Jewish teenager on Long Island, named Isabel, though her father calls her Jezebel. Her father has been accused of inappropriate sexual behavior with one of his students, which he denies, but Izzy implicitly believes it’s true. As a result of his problems, her father sends her to a co-ed Orthodox yeshiva for tenth grade, out of the blue, and Izzy and her mother can’t figure out how to prevent it. At Yeshiva, though, Izzy finds that religious people are much more complicated than she had expected. Some, like her father, may use religion as a place to hide, but others search for and find comfort, and community, and even enlightenment. The question is, what will Izzy find?
rachelmankowitz 
Charity means different things to different people. We donate our unwanted and usable items to charity shops. We put our shrapnel (small change) in collection buckets for the Salvation Army, but we are not in a position to regularly donate a fixed sum to anyone, and I get annoyed when that is frowned upon by people trying to get us to sign on.
We do OK, and often joke that if anyone broke into our house, they’d leave stuff because we haven’t got a lot. We are in ‘severe poverty’ according to our government’s website which I find laughable as it is governed purely by income and ours is around 60% of what is accepted as a livable wage. I don’t feel ‘poor’, and a lot of our friends were very charitable towards us when we moved here because we had nothing. We manage. always have, but we cannot do more than we do regarding charity.
To me, it sounds like you do a lot.
Hi Rachel. We do what we can when we can. When we bought the boat, we’d already given away furniture to Age Concern which they were very grateful for as it furnished a one bedroom flat for a pensioner. When we had to get rid of everything else, a dog charity shop got over 300 DVDs and videos, cupboards full of linens and pans, and a lot of soft toys.
The Bible talks about giving cheerfully. As a Christian, I don’t think God is at all impressed when we give begrudgingly.
I don’t think people should compete to give more than others. I think we should look at our world and give where we think we can help the most. Sometimes that’s money to an organization. Sometimes it’s volunteering for an organization. Other times it’s simply seeing a person in need and helping or picking up trash at a park or tending to overgrown graves in a cemetery.
I like that idea.
Me too
I had a supervisor who would get very passive-aggressive in her requests for donations for whatever fundraiser we had going on at work. I so resented this. It was very obvious that she made/had a lot more money than the rest of us, but I loved the volunteer part of the ‘charity.’ Volunteering has always been my wheelhouse. She tried to lord if over us with the amount she was giving. I didn’t buy into it then and I still don’t. Peer pressure is a horrible thing no matter what age you are. I am with Cricket: do NOT push me.
Cricket knows everything!
Having been raised in poverty, my family never had money to give. We did however, often give of time and labor to help others. I gift things to others that I know are in need. I feel like there are so many charities to give to it is overwhelming. So, when I realize a charity that comes across my eyes feels right, I donate.
At school there were so many things to donate to, I told my students I could not help one, and not all. I would donate off campus for equality.
Charity should be a willing gift, not a guilt. IMHO
I have felt the same as you about charity. I think it is more complicated now than it was for older generations. There are so many charities, and so many needs and there comes this idea that one wants to give intelligently. So even if a charity seems good-hearted I always ask is it also effective? I’m old enough to have seen a lot of good intentions be harmful and seen the way so much winds up in the hands of those who do not have needs.
The corona virus response was like that also: almost like the wealthy, through their lackeys in congress, held help for those who really needed it hostage until they got their cut.
Exactly!
I give as God leads, not out of pressure or guilt, but because of how much he loves and wants us to show love for others as He’s done for us. Whether it’s small or large, it doesn’t matter, God looks at the heart. Thanks for sharing your experiences.
I also consider giving where it’s needed to neighbors and locally and not necessarily “big” charities. When I’ve prayed about it, God’s definitely shown me where it’s needed most.
Please excuse my ignorance of thing Jewish, is the Tzedakah the same as tithing?
One thing that seems to distinguish the USA from Australia is the philanthropy of Americans. While the taxation benefits may have some connection, it seems that Americans are more generous. I’ve heard people explain the difference is because the USA was settled by the free who fought off the British while Australia was a convict colony and remains tied to the UK and the British monarch.
Interesting possibility. I think tithing applied specifically to agriculture, when a corner of the land was left free to those who needed food. Tzedakah in general is thought of in similar terms, as an obligation and a percentage of income, but has wider applications.
Thank you for helping me understand.
Great writing, Rachel, as always! You ask some important questions that we still don’t have the answers. In this pandemic, and with such government response, we are left by ourselves. With so many financial obligations, and uncertainty, it is becoming very difficult to put money aside for charity. Our youngest son is finishing graduate studies, but he cannot find a job.I understand why the young generation does not contribute to charity. They simply don’t have the resources. Thanks again! PS: Your little ones play a very soothing role in your post! Please thank them for me. Shavua tov!
Shavuah Tov!
Back when the whole ice bucket challenge thing was going on, I was unfriended by some people because I told them what I thought about it – it was bullying, plain and simple. I don’t like being told what I have to give and who I have to give it to. My husband and I work hard for what we have, and we are very generous – more than some, less than others, but that’s our choice. I frequently say that I will gladly offer anyone a hand up, but I will not give a handout. It’s a tricky business these days, just living.
The ice bucket challenge thing made me very angry, but more than that, I didn’t understand why it caught on. I also get annoyed when incredibly wealthy people tell me what to support and who needs help, as if there aren’t ten thousand other groups who are just as deserving of attention but unfortunately not the fad of the week. Harrumph.
And THIS is one of the reasons I love you! I was made to feel like I didn’t deserve to draw breath because I refused to give money to something I didn’t choose – not that it’s not a worthy cause – or dump ice on my head! You are so right, it’s the fad of the week – and it makes me angry as well. Honestly, I would much rather give to someone I know than to some huge organization. Our local grocery store sells boxes of food for $10 at holidays, they donate the turkey to go along with the canned goods, boxed mashed potatoes, etc, that are in the box. All of it goes to the local food bank. I buy one or two every grocery day, because it’s helping people in my community. And honestly, it’s not all about money – people who have little sometimes give more than the wealthy, and it means more because it’s from the heart.
I love those Thanksgiving food boxes! First of all, because it’s easy to do, second because it feels so concrete. It’s the most natural human thing to share food, because it feels good, it feels like community. I also like imagining someone opening the box and saying, eeeeww I hate cranberry sauce in a can!
My middle granddaughter and I take great delight on Thanksgiving by making all kinds of lip smacking and yumming noises while offering the cranberry sauce to everyone else. She and I are the only ones who like it, but we keep trying to convince the rest to try it!
You’re right about sharing food – my mother used to say if you left our house hungry, it was your own fault. It’s totally my way to show love, too
Although he’s certainly not the most virtuous person, I liked Charlie Sheen’s video of the ice bucket challenge the best. He didn’t dump ice on himself. He dumped a bucket of cash, and said he was making a $20,000 donation, or something like that.
At least the money went to a good cause, I guess.
I am sooooo skeptical of charity. People give millions and millions and millions of dollars. Where does it really go? Who does it really help? What’s the condition of Haiti now, or Puerto Rico, or every other disaster location? Look who’s getting COVID loans, big companies and businesses, not the small ones that will go broke and never come back. Only in America does every tax payer get a cash handout, and unemployed make more thru unemployment than thru working. My elderly brother has been in diapers and a wheelchair for 2 1/2 years. Flat broke. Any handouts? No. The charity of friends and family has helped a bit, short term. 100k would probably last his lifetime. That will never happen. Insurance has been a constant uphill battle. It’s pathetic. Regardless, charity is better than nothing, but it probably could be better managed. The government wastes a zillion dollars every day and people have to give their own earnings for charity. I’m glad it doesn’t upset me.
Ha! And oy.
I have been so keen to read this post all day but couldn’t because of having guests, etc. Finally (while cooking dinner) I have been totally absorbed by it. I am not religious and therefore do not tie charity to religion or to ideas about what God would want or not want. And I too struggle with charity although I’m not sure my reasoning is as generous as yours. Last year I watched a Ted Talk by an extremely wealthy man whose name I’ve forgotten. He described himself as a “1 percenter” (ie; in the top 1% wealth bracket). He talked about how the wealth gap in the USA is becoming dangerous and that if the wealthy didn’t do something to change the status quo, real civil unrest was a possibility. He talked about how wealthy people “give” millions of dollars to charity but manage it in such a way that they are not disadvantaged by the way it is spent. Their charity aims to keep the status quo because they want to keep what they have. Wealthy people are also able to avoid paying as much tax as they really should, if they followed the same rules as the rest of society. This bothers me. It seems to me that the less the government does, the more charities step in but taxes do not decrease proportionately. Effectively charity is a second “voluntary” tax. But, as you say, there is a lot of pressure from society to do “the right thing”. And perhaps you get even more pressure than me, being part of a religious organisation where this sort of thing is evidently discussed. It should also be noted that while the US economy is buckling under the weight of COVID19, the US Stock Market continues to boom – the gambling table of the wealthy. From my understanding, this is because the Federal Reserve has continued to support the stock market. I”m not sure of the reasoning behind that decision.
I am talking about the US and although Australia is definitely more generous (in terms of the safety nets provided by our taxes), I feel as though our Government is heading down the same path the US has taken.
I am also uncomfortable with charity because these days it’s so non-transparent about what is actually done with your money. For a time I had a brother in a poor, developing country and I was able to give money directly to his work there and know exactly what was being done. In general, though, you don’t get that kind of feedback and you don’t really know how much of your money makes it to its intended destination. Charities are businesses, to a degree. I wonder whether, when the older people in your synagogue were growing up, charity was a much more local concept and the results of their efforts were more visible and more satisfying.
I like the idea of charity being for “righteous” purposes. Maybe my idea of righteous is different to yours but I see saving our planet as a righteous purpose. I devote a significant amount of time and effort to trying to do my bit toward stopping climate change. Would you count that as righteous?
Sorry for my long reply. As you can see, I really have been bottling up my interest in your post all day. 🙂
Thank you so much! I think you’re right, that charities used to be more local and you could actually see the results of giving your money or time. Over time, as the rich have become exponentially richer, charities have become bigger organizations often fighting over those same billionaires. And the actual people in need are seen more as statistics than as neighbors.
I’m actually in a grad class on the history of American charity and philanthropy right now and it’s eye opening to say the least. If you want a look at the crux of American philanthropic philosophy Andrew carngies gospel of wealth is free at the Carnegie corporations website. Essentially he encouraged the wealthy to intentionally use their wealth to shape society so that capitalism thrives, inequity between rich and poor remains/grows, and the wealthy get to feel the are the only competent people and through their “giving” can not only shape society as they alone see fit but also assure themselves a place in heaven. And Im finding the book Charity, Philanthropy and Civility in American History enlightening. In any case there are really no easy answers. We are a flawed species trying to function in a flawed society. You try to educate yourself and reduce risks of unintended harm as much as you can, and when you get new info you adjust as needed. For myself, I try to support the causes that mean something to me, when I can, through volunteering or financially. I recognize I won’t solve any large human or global problems, but I can do something for causes that I believe are working to do good, are transparent in the work they do, and that I want to see survive.
Wow! The Carnegie gospel of wealth is shocking, and yet self evident. You just don’t expect people to say the evil part outloud. Thank you for the book recommendations!
Oh for sure, reading the Carnegie essay was both enraging and horrifying and a “well there we go in black and white, no wonder we are where we are today!” Thanks for a great post!
Our daughters convinced me to support charities that aren’t ‘sexy’. So we donate to things like the Kidney Foundation, and various Australian charities. One gives books to Indigenous libraries.
That’s a great idea!
I know there are people who, blessed with good finances, think themselves unselfish to drop money on different charities. These people, however, are too busy making that money to donate their time or their prayers. I’ve been financially generous when it’s been possible, and, like you, I often feel like my small amount doesn’t make a big difference. But I also donate blood regularly, and give gently used items to non-profit thrift shops. I’ve learned that I get greater joy in giving to people whom I know personally are struggling that to large charitable foundations simply because I can see my donation making a difference. Small, random acts done for someone have so much more joy present that adding my few coins somewhere. I’ve given rides home to complete strangers I’ve seen toting groceries in the rain. I’ve helped strangers, especially the old/elderly/handicapped ones, load groceries in their cars or returned their empty cart for them. It teaches me that helping even one person is charitable in its own right.
I love that!
Whether or not someone gives secretly or as a matter of good public relations does not matter practically, in the long run. What I consider is how much of my contribution will be applied to mitigate the problems or relieve suffering of the people the charitable organization intends to help. How much money will be “skimmed” off to pay salaries of executives? Is a fancy skyscraper really necessary in order to organize hunger relief for starving people in a famine-stricken area? Is the aid what the suffering people need or is it given out for unnecessary objectives to satisfy the benefactors of the charity? It’s complicated. I give what I can afford. Hopefully it satisfies the greatest needs of the greatest number of people.
It’s so hard!
Thoughtful and poignant post. Personally, I have given to the organizations that I think will be of the most help to my own children when I am gone. Kind of a pay it forward thing. Maybe a selfish charity? I don’t know. But I ask for nothing in return.
I think giving to charities we KNOW offer something valuable makes a lot of sense. But, honestly, taking care of the people you love feels more important than charity to me, as a priority.
I love the idea of local charities, where you create relationships and trust as you go. Thank you for the links!
In the words of Shakespeare, ‘Charity is twice blessed. It blesses he who gives and he who receives.’ But he didn’t know about how charities use most of the money as ‘overhead expenses’ and how ‘givers’ sometime break their arms by slapping themselves on the back.
I agree that we better get a much better world when the sun comes back or we are indeed screwed.
Great post, Rachael.
Thank you! Fingers crossed!
For over 40 years, I have given an annual donation to the Lifeboats that operate off of our coast. The crews do not get paid, and do a dangerous job saving lives at sea. I live on an island of course, Britain, and I cannot swim. So I am happy to donate money to support the volunteers who risk their lives. I will not donate any money to medical charities of any kind, as I feel that our government has enough to properly fund the NHS.
Best wishes, Pete.
Wait, you have medical charities in Britain even with national healthcare?!!!!!!
Yes, dozens of them!
Crazy!
Interestingly in the Christian Gospel of Matthew I am cautioned to not make a big deal of giving money, but rather to do it in private. That seems to be in response to the behavior your father was demonstrating–giving to get attention while neglecting his family. You cover so many bases here that I will just respond to one. It is not difficult to find what money any organization pays for overhead. Charities are rated and the information is on-line. I have chosen to give money to specific places, knowing that their work is of value to me and knowing that it takes personnel to run organizations. Most of our giving is to our own church which supports a great deal of direct charity to the “undeserving poor” who come to our doors daily. No one is undeserving of care.
Maimonides determined eight levels of charity (I think), with anonymous charity to those most in need getting top billing. But I didn’t include it in the essay because, one, I hate being told what to do, and two, I don’t think people live up to those ideals very often. Anonymous giving, where one hundred percent of the gift goes to the person who really needs it, comprehensively meeting their need, is very, very rare.
That is intriguing and adds to my knowledge of charity. Thanks.
The poor people around us and or neighborhood, deserve charity giving than the charity home. I help my fellow poor people around me instead of those that are very far. Charity begins at home 🤭😇🌼🌼🌼
That is an excellent point to add to the conversation.
That’s what I know and i have experienced it
I use an app called “Charity Navigator” to help me decide if a charity is worthy. See https://www.charitynavigator.org/
Thank you!
Charity Biggins at home. The people around you, deserve it too , they deserve it even more than the charity home 😞
Well, I was toward the end of no doubt a pithy response, when something happened and the computer gave it away. (Sorry about the joke.) If you receive a partial response, that was my fault or my machine’s. This is a new-to-me computer, and too often we’re not getting along. Anyway, I think you do an impressive job noting the confusions and inconsistencies over giving. (I tend not to use the word charity because it sounds Victorian and superior.) There is great giving of time and effort that I think matters as much, if not more, than money. I also think we should be guilt-free in deciding how to give. We should be but we won’t be, since there are those who will promote if not manipulate for a cause. Nowadays, I find myself shutting down to that approach even if the cause is good. I tend to give situationally, typically when I come across a cause and a request that seems good and needful and that I can trust at all. It’s still risky, I know. Sometimes the need is literally in or near my face. Sometimes it’s on-line. I’m not sure if it helps that I don’t have much to give. I’m learning, too, that self-care and giving to others are not exclusive of each other. I’ve received help from others of a number of kinds, for which I’m grateful. But what I mean is that if I need to feed myself or take a break or stop and have a cup of coffee, that has to be okay. I will give to others, too. Maybe I trust in the resourcefulness and balance of the universe.
Self care has to come first, if only because without it you will have nothing to give to others.
You’re right
Good post. I appreciate the way you give real thought to this. It’s a topic I wrestle with as well.🌷
Thank you! My favorite topics are the ones that have no simple answers.
Rachel, have you read “Winners Take All” by Anand Giridharadas? If not, you should! This post reminds me so much of his take on what he calls “plutocrat philanthropy” and the idea that charitable giving is not only cherry-picking, but also absolves the elite of contributing to society in a fair and equitable way….i.e. a Bill Gates type choosing to work on malaria in Africa but fighting a US wealth tax of the kind Elizabeth Warren proposes.
That’s awesome! Thank you for the recommendation!
What an interesting article. It’s a tough one for sure & one that has puzzled me having been involved in various charitable projects. I have tried to examine my own motives for helping out too. In some circumstances it has led me to step away & I now think very carefully before embarking on new ones. Think no one should feel forced to give for certain & would idealistically think that the world would be a better place generally if we shared the resources around a bit more fairly. Guess the topic is still one for much debate so thanks for highlighting it.
Thank you!
It seemed to me that the government spent a lot of money helping people who didn’t really need it while the ones who needed it the worst slipped through the cracks.
That’s how it seems to me too.
Exactly. They neglect the people they see, and help people they don’t see
I read a very good book about how we can abolish poverty, and it started with all of us giving. And he definitely felt that people being more open with gifts was a good thing, because it encouraged donations in others.
I don’t have a lot of money but I still think it’s important to set some aside from others, because many small amounts do make a difference, and if everyone was doing their part, it would add up quickly. But we can’t wait until everyone else is doing it, we start now and act on our beliefs.
Very interesting!
We can also abolish poverty by elevating the poor people around us.
I hope we aren’t totally screwed but I worry, as well. Loan programs are changing for folks all of the time right now and I worry for people who don’t have a back-up plan if they don’t get a mortgage. Refinancing is one thing- at least most of those people own their homes. So many ‘what ifs’ right now. My husband and I sent checks to our 2 hairdressers we use in ND and MT. They are pretty much the only people in service industries we utilize and we wanted them to be okay.
And I totally remember that Law & Order episode!!!!
Oh thank god, I was afraid I was the only one who saw that episode!
Very well stated! Thank you for this.
Thank you!
Reblogged this on alkaplan.
Although tithing refers to agriculture, I adopted the idea of giving 10% of my income away. I give half to my church and the other half to nonprofits–mostly small, local nonprofits where I know the people and the work they do. Because it comes off the top, I don’t notice that it is gone. It is like rent or utilities and is just planned into my budget. I give because of that idea in the Bible and also (and perhaps more importantly) because I have been the recipient of so much generosity throughout my life and tithing is a way for me to participate in the process of generosity and gratitude. When I have had no income, I gave more time in volunteering at the nonprofits I supported. I grew up working poor and am middle class now (but will probably be poor when/if I retire because I have no pension), so I am not giving a lot in terms of actual dollars.
But, as someone who works in the nonprofit sector, I have a deep appreciation for every gift given, no matter the amount. I know that sometimes incredibly wealthy people give a little while people who have very little give a lot. I don’t know why or how people make their giving decisions; my role is to accept whatever gifts someone gives and use it wisely to further our mission.
There’s a story you would love in the New Testament. It involves Jesus sitting in the Jewish temple and watching other Jews putting money in a collection box. There were rich people who put in a lot. A poor widow put in a couple of coins called “mites” in the King James translation.
Jesus did not criticize the rich, but noted that she out gave them all. It wasn’t about the amount or obligation. Hers was a sacrificial gift based on love of God. 🙂 Blessings!!
Ideally, that story represents the way Jewish law works around charity: that each gives what they can afford, not so much that it sacrifices the well being of your family, and not so little that you barely notice it’s gone. But the ideal and the real are often far apart.
Thank you so much for this clear analysis of charity and government and the missteps that take place.
Thank you for reading!
Thanks for sharing
I so agree it is complicated and Christains don’t have a monopoly on charity. Sikhs, Muslims and others all have traditions of sharing meals or leaping into action when there is an emergency. People like donating blood because it is altruistic, there can be no ulterior motive because you have no idea who you are helping. Many of us are wary of big charities who misuse funds. Local charities perhaps – food banks are needed more than ever with families out of work due to the pandemic.
Going local seems to be the best way to ensure charity is going where it’s supposed to and to allow the giver to feel the joy of giving directly.
As usual a very thoughtful and honest post. For me there is an interesting connection between the idea of taxes as part of the social contract and charity as part of the social order. I don’t deduct any donations I make from my taxes. It isn’t about that. And I don’t ever resent paying taxes because I was taught by my father that taxes are the price for living in a stable society. What galls me is the substitution of charity for taxation. Plutocrats get to inflate their egos and deflate their part of the social contract, funding vanity projects with their names plastered all over them. I also resent the fact that so often charity takes the place of what should be basic human rights guaranteed by the government in the name of all of us being equal. Nevertheless, I don’t let my irritation/cynicism get in the way of doing what I can. Right now it is donating money to the food banks in New York City who are staving off actual starvation in the face of the massive unemployment crisis due to the pandemic. I am especially fond of the restaurant workers association because those folks have been hardest hit and are often undocumented and unable to receive any government help. I’m with you on refusing to be bullied or made to feel guilty. In a just society, we would all be living “to each according to need and from each according to ability.” I try to do my little bit, usually anonymously, and always refrain from public shows like the Ice Bucket Challenge. Thanks for making me think!!!
Thank you for such a thoughtful response! I like your idea that there’s room for both taxation and charity, as long as the rich can’t avoid taxes through charity, and as long as taxation actually covers the needs it’s supposed to cover.
Most charities I give to are in impoverished countries because it seems my money goes further and more directly to services, but also because, on the whole, Americans are very charitable and finding donors in other countries is much harder. I did donate to a lot of local orgs for Covid relief though because, as someone who still had a great job, I felt I had to support my local community.
That’s so interesting! I wonder why Americans are more likely to give donations. Lower taxes, richer nation, or a societal ethos towards giving? Or all three. I love all of the creative ways people choose to give to charity, and volunteer. I’m so glad I wrote about this on the blog, because I’ve learned so much from all of the responses!
There are good people in the world but they are nit enough to make world better. Why? I have this great question and God never answered to me 🤗 I’m from italy and here we’re almost all christians but our society is not good. Why? I often helped people but nobody helped me.
I’m so sorry!
Amen, Rachel! Btw, “charity” is a translation of the Greek word “agape,” which signifies the highest form of love possible, selfless, sacrificial love, and is considered to originate with G-d. So, you’re right, in a way, that the manner n which it’s so often used is quite shallow in comparison to its true meaning.
Wow! I didn’t know that! Thank you!
I love America. Wish to be there someday
Thanks for this post and comments ❤️💋
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Hi Rachel. Interesting take on your view of charity. And, it’s true that some people just give and donate just for show, be it at church or synagogue. I’m Catholic, and I love that our church has an auto-pay system that comes out directly from my bank. Most our congregation does the same, so no more watching who puts what in the collection basket. Just give what you can. I also feel good about my donation, as modest as it is, because my church also supports several local charities, including the St. Vincent DePaul ministry. With other big name charities, it’s hard to want to donate to organizations that pay their directors huge salaries. Why? It’s a charity. Personally, I like to donate my time and talents to my community. Volunteering at a senior facility is charity. Taking snacks to the local church daycare is charity. Donating your talent, craft, or artwork to a community charity event is charity. I still believe giving of my time is worth so much more than giving my dollars. Help your neighbors, friends, family. That’s the best way to help in my book. ❤️
You raise some great questions regarding giving to charities. I tend to keep my giving close to home rather than big organizations. The bigger the organization it seems the less percentage of your gift actually goes to the need.
Are you going back to school in the fall>?
We will probably be teaching online in the fall, if things keep going as they are.
Seems that way a lot of places!
Your comment that you don’t have enough money to make a difference reminded me of a story I heard many years ago of two men on a beach. One was sitting quietly, enjoying the sight, sound, and smells, drinking in the peace. The other was an elderly man walking along near the surf. Every so often, he would stop, bend over, pick something up and throw it out into the water. The younger man was intrigued and went to ask the elderly man what he was doing. The elderly man replied that he was picking up stranded starfish and throwing them back in the water so they could live. The young man looked at the miles of beach and the many starfish and asked how the elderly man could possibly make a difference. The elderly man bent over, picked up another starfish and threw it back in the ocean. He then said, “I just made all of the difference between life and death to THAT starfish.” None of us can do it all. But every little bit helps, and many little bits combine to make a lot. I have a few friends still from high school, nearly 50 years ago. Several of them are quite wealthy and occasionally do a bit of bragging on how much they have given to this or that school or organization. One day several months ago, one of them sent out an email to the group of us listing some of her giving and she actually had the nerve to ask how much each of us had given to the same or similar organizations. I’ve never had much, but I have given community service, many hours of it over the years, to several organizations I felt were doing good in the community. I replied back with a list of those organizations and things I had done as a volunteer. I’ve not had another bragging email of donations since. People seem to forget that charity does not always need to be in the form of money. Sometimes what’s needed the most is a caring hand, a gentle voice, or (in healthier days) a hug for a lonely, frightened, or sad friend. All of these are charity, and, in my opinion, fulfilling a righteous religious obligation.
That’s a lovely thought. Thank you!
Best of success to you.
Thank you!
I would assume that the younger generation is not as in to charitable contributions because of all the economic instability they’ve endured, but also that cynicism you described about what our system is actually doing, and not doing enough of. I am so in favor of Rights-based thinking — living in the EU for four years, you really appreciate the social welfare system actually protecting and providing for all of its citizens.
Insightful, your psychoanalysis about how “It feels so much better to give a gift that you are not required to give, than to give what is required.” Also on point: “some politicians advocated reopening businesses and throwing senior citizens into the volcano to appease the Covid gods” — morbid but true! I wish we could fix the politics and capitalism and racism breaking our society down.
We all have to vote! And then we can get started.
Some “charities” benefit only themselves. You can find out what percent actually goes to the people who need it and how much is kept for “administration” and stay away from ones like the Red Cross where nearly all the money goes to administration. Never feel guilty. Charity is not just about money, it’s about our time also. The time you give your students and helping other people and your dogs – the time you give love – this matters more to God than the money. He made the cattle on a thousand hills. He has the money. God’s Holy Spirit can guide you. And as for your father, the Bible says that he who does not provide for his own family is worse than an infidel. Those $20 bills he made a show of giving are his reward. Period. He won’t get a reward in heaven. You have to take care of yourself and your household first…otherwise…someone else has to step in to help, and where is the charity then? I’m one of those folks who love to give, but have never had the finances to give generously the way I would if I were able. So I have learned from experience….don’t feel guilty. God isn’t interested in our money. He looks at our hearts. God bless you.
Thank you so much!
I enjoyed reading this, and I can relate to a lot of what you said. I found myself wondering how I could help, knowing I wasn’t one of the people hurting financially (an odd first for me!) but also that I didn’t have enough to make a difference either. I ended up just giving $10 to 20 whenever I felt the urge to. A couple people posting of a need in 1 of my Facebook pet groups. A small amount to a food bank, etc. It did feel kinda good, even though I knew it wasn’t going to do much. I did feel “obligated” to give even a small amount, just because for the first-time seemingly ever, I had been spared from a financial disaster.. and so many others have not.
I love that your first thought was to share your good fortune!