This past week in the United States has been stressful, for everyone, and because my synagogue school students are part of that everyone, I wanted to focus on teaching a lesson that would reassure them, somewhat, that there are areas of their lives where they really do have some control. And, because I love teaching Yiddish words, the lesson for this week was: what does it mean to be a mensch?
Mensch is a Yiddish word, from German, meaning “human being,” or a person of integrity and honor. The opposite of a mensch is an unmensch, a person treating others cruelly and without compassion, as opposed to the word ubermensch (Nietzsche alert) which is usually translated as “the superman,” someone who is superior to other humans. The word Mensch has gathered a lot of associations in American culture (bearded, male, Jewish) but it really means a person who is striving to be good every day, and doing what is right, even when it’s hard. We already have Yiddish words for the most righteous among us (a Tzaddik), or the smartest (a Chacham or a Maven) or the most powerful (a Macher). But being a mensch isn’t about being the best or the most, it’s about being human.
There’s something wonderful about a compliment that can be given to everyone, instead of just to an elite few. Someone with a physical or intellectual disability has just as good a chance of being a mensch as someone who is born privileged in every way, because it’s not about your talents or your circumstances or your luck, it’s about how you choose to navigate the world you happen to live in. Oh, and mensch is not a gendered word, and it’s not limited to Jewish people, so it really can apply to anyone.
We are so often looking for ways to be better than others, or to be the best, or to earn our place, and it’s exhausting, but the opportunity to be a mensch is always there, and there’s always something you can do that will fit you and your skills and interests.
You can still have your foibles and be a mensch. You can fail a test, or lose your job, or struggle with substance abuse, or struggle to finish a Sunday crossword puzzle and still be a mensch. What you can’t do, is intentionally cause harm to other people. You can’t be a liar, or a bully, or be arrogant, or prejudiced and still be a mensch.
I’m a big fan of menschlichkeit, or mensch-iness. It’s like a pass fail course, where as long as you do the work, you’re golden. And we need things like that in a world that is so driven by competition and achievement and striving to be in the top one percent of everything.
Being a mensch is about valuing other human beings for themselves, instead of for what they can do for you. And this, more than anything, is what I want to encourage in my students. Yes, I will be thrilled for them when they learn to write Hebrew words, or lead the prayers at their Bar or Bat Mitzvah. I will cheer them on when they swim or dance or act in a school play, and I will celebrate with them when they get into the college of their dreams, or find a cure for a rare disease, or create calorie-free chocolate frosting that tastes like the real thing (!). But all of that is secondary to how proud I am of them, right now, when they notice that a fellow student is struggling and needs help, or when they realize that they’ve hurt someone’s feelings and they are willing to take the risk of offering an apology that may not be accepted. Each time they re-learn the lesson that it’s more important to be good than to be great, I puff up with happiness, because that’s what’s going to get them through their lives; not being the best at anything, but being a mensch through everything.
It can be hard, when we are thinking in such enormous terms as national politics and life and death, to remember that our real lives, and our real impact, comes locally – in our towns, communities, schools, and families.
May we all make it through this election, and the pandemic, with our appreciation for mensch-iness intact.
If you haven’t had a chance yet, please check out my Young Adult novel, Yeshiva Girl, on Amazon. And if you feel called to write a review of the book, on Amazon, or anywhere else, I’d be honored.
Yeshiva Girl is about a Jewish teenager on Long Island, named Isabel, though her father calls her Jezebel. Her father has been accused of inappropriate sexual behavior with one of his students, which he denies, but Izzy implicitly believes it’s true. As a result of his problems, her father sends her to a co-ed Orthodox yeshiva for tenth grade, out of the blue, and Izzy and her mother can’t figure out how to prevent it. At Yeshiva, though, Izzy finds that religious people are much more complicated than she had expected. Some, like her father, may use religion as a place to hide, but others search for and find comfort, and community, and even enlightenment. The question is, what will Izzy find?
rachelmankowitz 
I love this post! And now, the word “mensch”, which seems like a wonderful word to represent a campaign platform! 😉
Thank you so much!!!
Thanks so much for this post which has come at a perfect moment for me.
I’m so glad! Thank you!
Trump is a perfect example of someone that is not a mensch. The USA and the rest of the world is fortunate that Biden win. Goodbye to Trump, who is an enemy of democracy, a crook, a pathological liar, a bully, callous, bigoted, etc., etc.
Whatever concerns people may have about Biden, his menschiness is universally known, and it is such a relief!
I totally agree!
Rachel! You are a terrific example of a Mensch!!!! ❤❤❤
I am so grateful for you. I thought I knew what ‘mensch’ means, but no I didn’t.
Thank you so much!
Shavuah Tov, Rachel:
Nice! I find few folks teaching musar or menschlicheit these days.
Thank you!
Shavuah Tov! It really does look like the beginning of a good week, and more.
Indeed. Only a few hurdles to jump, and then back to the normal work of building a better world (hopefully with less TugOfWar shortly?). 🙂
Rachel, reading tonight’s post was like a breath of fresh air. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful and profoundly impactful word.
Thank you so much!
I love this line: Each time they re-learn the lesson that it’s more important to be good than to be great, I puff up with happiness, because that’s what’s going to get them through their lives; not being the best at anything, but being a mensch through everything.
Thank you!
Great timely post Rachel. I just had the privilege of watching speeches by 2 Mensch tonight from Delaware. After 4 truly dark and dangerous years, I now see light and hope for America and the World. Leaders need to lead with empathy for those they lead and Joe & Kamala have that empathy. Congrats to my American friends. Allan
Thank you! I especially loved the kids on the stage at the end!
I think the much of the rest of the world breathed a sigh of relief today. But between now and January 20th I don’t think we should be surprised by any antics.
Love it! Feel like I always learn something new reading your blogs. I especially agree with you on your last point about impact locally. So many people also think they only vote that matters at all is at the top of the ballot. The further down you go, the more impact those elections have on you. Which is why I don’t understand the whole “my vote doesn’t matter” especially if you live in say, Texas, and vote democratic.
Cricket still thinks she should have the right to vote, at least on what we eat for dinner.
Wonderful post, Rachel,
So now I am a Mensch. The last person I remember calling me a Mensch was Leonard Nimoy’s father and Leonard explained the meaning of the word.
Shavuah Tov!
I love that!!!!
“Mensch” a word in the New York Times crossword puzzle the other day, and it caused me to think of Joe Biden. I loved this post.
Thank you!
Valueing humans for what they are,instead of what they can do for you. What a noble thought!
Cricket tries to pretend she’s all about the treats, but she loves her grandma no matter what. Shhh, it’s a secret.
Love this post. Biden exudes mensch-iness. For that we can be thankful.
Absolutely!
I’m with Shannon on this and I should add how lucky your students are to have you as their teacher.
Absolutely! Rachel, how old are your students?
Nine and ten.
Thank you so much!
Thank you!
You’re most welcome
Calorie free frosting – now we talking! That would be the work of an ubermensch!
I pray for that one every day!
This is a gorgeous post!
Thank you!
<3!!
Lovely piece, Rachel! (And hallelujah from my little part of the world this morning. We cracked open the fizz last night in celebration.)
Thank you!
The German Chancellor Helmut Schmidt (in office 1974-82) was popularly known in Germany as “Der Macher”. It didn’t just mean that he was powerful, but that he could be relied on to get things done. Machen in German is to do. Hence Schumacher – shoe-maker.
Thanks for that!
I love the idea of celebrating Mensches. A Mensch is an authentically good person.
Thank you!
Rachel, great post. I love this line, in particular. Keith
“Being a mensch is about valuing other human beings for themselves, instead of for what they can do for you.”
Thank you!
Word of the Day: Menschiness!!
Thank you so much for this amazing post. Loved it!!
Thank you!!!!
Reblogged this on So Many Words… and commented:
Word of the Day: Mensch-iness !!
This is an absolutely delightful post! Thank you.
Thank you!
May we all strive for mensch-iness!
Amen!
As always, a terrific and inspiring essay of being truly human. Loved it!
Thank you!
Being in academia can really highlight how people try to be “better” than others. I try to extricate myself from that tension and keep the focus on how everyone has value and gifts.
That sounds wonderful!
Thank you for another wonderful post.
At the end of my youngest daughter’s freshman year, I went to pick her up from collage. She’d met a man she was gushing over. Their eyes when they looked at each other spoke volumes. He lugged box after heavy box to my car. Went above and beyond to help. He wasn’t acting the gentleman, he was one. When we got home, my husband asked what I though of her boyfriend. The first word that came to mind was mensch. That was 6 years ago. They are now engaged.
That’s wonderful! I really love that!
Reblogged this on alkaplan and commented:
Yesterday I shed tears of relief.
When I saw this post today, I had to share it.
We should all strive to be a mensch.
I love this post, too, Rachel. And I’ve heard the word “mensch” all my life and never knew what it meant. It’s perfect!
It really is! Thank you!
Rachel, I’m going to reblog this tomorrow as part of my Thoughtful Thursday post, reblogging using the WP Reader. I hope you don’t mind. It is such a wonderful message, so well explained.
Thank you so much!
These are words to live by. Thank you, Rachel.
Thank you!
I enjoyed this post a lot. A long time ago I worked on a project in LA where the people in charge were high-powered Jewish lawyers. Being a mensch was the pass/fail qualification to be involved in the project. I can’t number all the times there would be debate about whether someone should be given access to the group and t went on and on and on about education, experience, contacts, etc. etc., until one of the bosses would say “OK, but he’s a mensch” and then, presto!, the guy was in. It’s a high compliment.
That’s awesome!
I loved this and I love that there is a Jewish word to describe such a human being. I love that it is universally achievable and I totally agree that there is too much focus on being the best or the most successful. Ironically if we were all a bit more menschy the world would be such a better place. It’s what we need. Not more superheroes but more mensches
Exactly!
You may have seen this article on The Hill: https://thehill.com/opinion/campaign/512893-davis-america-wants-a-mensch-for-president-2020-joe-biden-is-a-mensch
I heard it from you first!
Love it!
I think that because when I first heard the word mensch it was applied to a woman I knew, I have always imagined a mensch is a little overweight, a little sloppy and just terrific to have in your life. Perhaps that is much more specific than the word implies, but it has always been a great comfort to me, a little overweight, a little sloppy and hopefully terrific to have in one’s life.
There’s something about a kind person with obvious imperfections that allows the rest of us to let down our guards.
I grew up in NYC which at one time had a large Jewish immigrant population that spoke Yiddish. So most people knew what it was to be a “mensch”. Not everyone was one, I admit. But people there understood the concept. May we all strive to attain the title. 🙂
It’s definitely worth the effort!
Very much needed and enjoyed your post. Learning new words and there meanings ,now I can give my young adult grandson new words to use. ( When I use them, he always asks “OK Mawmaw what does that word mean?” Bless you. May Your Today, and all your tomorrow’s be filled with Grace, Love, Laughter and Peace.
Thank you!!!!
Thank you for reminding me that being a “mensch” would be why I chose the teaching profession.
That’s a great profession for a mensch!
To me, there is no one word to describe just being a good human. Its like trying to describe snow to an Inuit native. I’m ok with that tho, since society-at-large is not nice or good; its better to be aware of the little goodness we find as often as we find it.. as often as we are it, even more so. Lovely to read your post, see the pups, read the comments & generally feel good in the company of ” mensch’s” sending out love🌹
Thank you!
What a splendid word and a truly admirable quality. I also hate the ‘be the best’ we are ‘world beating’ mindsets. I will work on my own ‘mensch-ness’ and hopefully be a better person for it.
Being the best at anything is an illusion, but being good is a real goal we can all shoot for.
You are a great teacher and definitely an Mensch! I loved your informative lesson today. This is such an important set of values to be teaching young minds. We have way too many of the opposite in our society. Keep up the great work!
Dwight
Thank you!
You are welcome!
Beautiful post, Rachel!
Thank you!
You’re welcome! I just returned to blogging after several months of health issues and look forward to following you again.♥️
So good to hear your feeling better!
Thank you! Much better!
I’m not Jewish, but the word is familiar to me from lliving in London. I have tried my best to be one, throughout my life.
Best wishes, Pete.
Best wishes!
Informative!
Well done as always, Rachel. When all is said and done, it’s all about being good and helping others.
Thank you!
This is a lovely post thank you. Had no idea that was the meaning of Mensch, I will try to be a Mensch. I also didn’t know the meaning of maven, though had seen it used often, in the form “fashion maven”. I always read it to mean someone who avidly consumed fashion but now I know. As always the dogs are wonderful.
Thank you!!!
What a lovely article!
Keep up the good work!
Thank you!
Thank you for this thoughtful post, and for pointing out that the word can be applied to anyone. Sharing…
Thank you so much!
My pleasure: thank you for this very thoughtfully written post!
L’shalom,
Shira
Thank you for this lovely post, Rachel. Makes one to reflect… what everybody needs [to be] at the moment (and for all time!).
Thank you!
Such a beautiful post.😊
Thank you!