We were in a car accident a few weeks ago. I didn’t write about it at the time because Mom was shaken up and didn’t want her aunt to worry.
Mom has been losing feeling in her feet for a few years now, and going to all of the doctor visits to try to figure out why and how to stop it, but nothing has worked. It has mostly impacted her balance, because she can’t feel the ground as well through her shoes, so more often than not, when she takes the dogs out for a walk, she goes out in her socks or bare feet.
For some reason, that evening, on our way to synagogue, she wore a pair of shoes she hadn’t worn in a while, and very early in the drive she realized her mistake, because she was having trouble feeling the brake pedal, but when I suggested that she pull over and let me drive, she said no, she was fine.
But she wasn’t fine, and at a crucial moment, when she thought she was stepping on the brake, it turned out that she wasn’t.
She could have had another career as a race car driver, so even without brakes Mom was able to maneuver through traffic to get to safety, with only minor damage to another car, but our little red Honda was basically totaled, not so much because the accident was terrible, but because the car had so many miles on it that the insurance company thought it wasn’t worth doing all the necessary repairs.
Mom was in a daze after the accident, overwhelmed that she’d been the cause of it and frightened that the numbness in her feet might take away her independence. But as the days passed she decided that it really was that one pair of shoes, and with thinner soles she could still feel the brake pedal and drive as well as before. At least for now.
We were both fine, physically, and to my surprise I really didn’t have much of a post-traumatic stress response like Mom did, so I did most of the driving, and emptied all of the gardening tools and grocery bags and random detritus out of the old car before the garage took it away. Thank God, Mom was up to making all of the phone calls with the garage and the insurance company and the rental car company.
As soon as we found out that the insurance company didn’t want to repair the Honda, we started to look for a replacement, and since Mom has been wanting a car that’s easier to get in and out of for a while now, she had a good idea of what she wanted. We went to the nearby Subaru dealer and found a lightly used charcoal grey Subaru Crosstrek, which also has some safety features we didn’t have in the Honda. It’s a good car, and comfortable, and has lots of trunk space, and the driver’s seat can be maneuvered every which way, to give Mom the best possible control over the pedals and view of the road, but it’s not red.
And there’s this deep sense of loss. The little red Honda Civic has been part of our family for a long time, and I’m used to her. Switching to the rental car, a white KIA, with a push button start and rearview camera and lots of bells and whistles, took some adjustment, and the car didn’t smell like dogs and wet dirt from Mom’s gardening adventures, so it really was a stranger.
I’m pretty sure the trunk of the new car will be filled with gardening equipment within the first few days, and there will be dog treats stuck into the cushions, and it will start to smell right. And it will be a relief to know that Mom can keep her independence and feel, and be, safer. And the car only has 25,000 miles on it, so we’ll probably be able to keep it for a long time, until it too becomes like family. But the loss is real. Things are changing.
If you haven’t had a chance yet, please check out my Young Adult novel, Yeshiva Girl, on Amazon. And if you feel called to write a review of the book, on Amazon, or anywhere else, I’d be honored.
Yeshiva Girl is about a Jewish teenager on Long Island, named Isabel, though her father calls her Jezebel. Her father has been accused of inappropriate sexual behavior with one of his students, which he denies, but Izzy implicitly believes it’s true. As a result of his problems, her father sends her to a co-ed Orthodox yeshiva for tenth grade, out of the blue, and Izzy and her mother can’t figure out how to prevent it. At Yeshiva, though, Izzy finds that religious people are much more complicated than she had expected. Some, like her father, may use religion as a place to hide, but others search for and find comfort, and community, and even enlightenment. The question is, what will Izzy find?
rachelmankowitz 
I’m so glad no one was hurt, TG! I understand a car feeling like part of the crew. I gave my old Camry to my daughter, she had it for years, and we sold it in February since she needed a mom-van for her three (!!!) children. The guy who bought the car was a bit sketch and ended up dumping it at a repair shop (it was fine when we sold it). The repair shop owner contacted me because the buyer never sent in the title switch paperwork, but I assured him I didn’t own the car any longer. I feel bad for the poor thing, sitting abandoned at a garage, with no one paying attention to it. I am sure you understand! I’m glad you and your mom now have a safe new car 🙂
Thank you! Maybe the Camry and the Honda will end up in car heaven together.
💖
Yes, Subarus are well-built cars. I can understand you still wanting the red car, though. I parked in a large mall parking lot, and realized that every car in that section was either, white, black, or something in between. It was very easy to find my little bright blue hatchback.
Change is hard, but hopefully the changes will happen gradually (unless they’re good changes, of course!).
I am so ready for some Good changes!
Isn’t that the truth? It amazes me how many black, white or grey cars there are compared with colors. I’ve driven blue, orange, brown, yellow, and a sort of rose-brownish cars, but two of the last three were white and my current car is black!
Found this one on Craig’s list and immediately fell in love with it!
Wow! I’m glad you all are ok. Be careful out there! Perhaps mom should cut back on the driving a bit? Just saying. 🤞🤞🤞
Thank you! I’m thinking of teaching Ellie how to drive.
👍 That would work! 👏
I’m glad to hear you’re all ok. Car accidents are scary, just like change! 😬
Thank you!
I’m sorry, glad you both are doing ok🪷
Thank you!
Thank goodness nobody was injured. Getting a new car is like beginning a new chapter in life. Enjoy breaking in the new Subaru.
Thank you!
Glad all is well Rachel. Familiar cars are family but you’ll get used to it.
I will. I’m sure. But I still love red.
Harriet (my Yugo 55a) and the Peugeot 206 were both red and my favourite cars. The Picasso is red…..dish at burgundy and it does us OK.
Good to know you and your mum weren’t hurt. I hope the Subaru is a good investment.
Thank you! Me too!
Maybe it would help if you named the car. I never had named my card until Hector. He came named and I have come to love having a named car. It feels much more personal. Someday maybe I’ll get a Pedro! I must stick with male names, as in when something goes wrong, I can yell at the man in my life!!! 🤭
Ha! That’s awesome!
Gosh, I’m glad neither of you were hurt.
Thank you!
Rachel–I am so glad you are both OK. I have never enjoyed using a rental car. I always worried that they would find one little scratch and charge me thousands of dollars in repairs. Enjoy the new car. But I still mourn my old cars.
Thank you! It’s nice to know I’m not the only one.
Oh my goodness, how scary that must have been. I’m sorry to hear about your beloved little red car being a goner but so relieved that you and your mom weren’t hurt. And I adore your photo captions of your furry little friends! I have heard that they make and sell an aroma of “new car smell.” They should make one that smells like furry doggies and gardening supplies! Take care.
That would be awesome! Though Cricket generously offered to pee in the backseat if the transition takes too long.
ROFL! Gotta love Cricket. Great retort!
I always name my cars. My new car which is a Toyota Highlander Hybrid is called George. I am glad no one got injured in this car incident. But i do think that your mum will have to stop driving.
Hi George!!!!
Dress your new car up with some car magnets! They aren’t very expensive, but you can put any artwork or pet pictures on them you want.
Having gone through something similar not that long ago – having to trade my beautiful red truck on a silver hatchback – I can understand your sadness. You are right, that once you start to personalize the new one, you will come to love it just as much! ❤️
Sounds like a great idea! Thank you!
Glad you are both OK. Too bad about the little red Honda.
Thank you!
You’re lucky you were both okay. I hope you’ll do the driving from now on.
Thank you!
So glad neither of you were hurt. Subaru’s are great cars. Bring on the dog treats and gardening supplies.
Thank you!
I am glad no one was hurt. I hope she will get used to and like the new car.
Thank you!
Glad to hear you were both okay after the crash.
I also had to change my car in March, after the gearbox diied on my 16 year-old minivan. I now have a used 4-wheel drive SUV with lots of new features that baffle me so far. I have also had to go back to a manual gearshift after 25 years with automatics. I keep forgetting to change gear! 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
The Subaru seems to be able to switch to manual, but I have no idea why.
My pervious car could do that, for drivers who like to think they are ‘driving’. But it had no clutch pedal, unlike my recently-purchased SUV. So now I have a real ‘stick-shift’ again, as you call it over there.
“and the car didn’t smell like dogs and wet dirt from Mom’s gardening adventures, so it really was a stranger”. Nice. Here’s to smellin’ it all up comfy anew!
Thank you!
I am glad it wasn’t more serious than it could have been..your mom isn’t diabetic is she ?
Thank you! She’s not diabetic. It seems neuropathy can come from other causes, but we still don’t really understand it.
Well I am just glad your car took the brunt of it
Good to hear all’s well.
Thank you!
I’m so glad your accident wasn’t worse! My son’s car was totaled driving through a mud puddle which was much deeper than they thought. It was when used cars were sky high and my son got a check from insurance for more than he paid for the car! He take public transit now which is easy in the Bay Area. I’ll take a look at your book. My daughter’s best friend growing up went to yeshiva in the Los Angeles area for high school.
Thank you so much!
👍🏼
I’m relieved and glad to know that your mom and you weren’t hurt. I’m sorry your mom’s condition with her feet goes unsolved and so (I guess) untreated. I appreciate the loss of the car, though it’s good that you have something newer and safer. My little red car turns fifteen this year, and it looks as if it will be exchanged for a larger, black sedan that was my brother’s. Sigh. You’re right–adjustment.
Thank you! I hope the black sedan has its own personality.
Maybe it will. Thanks for the thought.
So glad everyone is okay. Subaru’s are easier to get in and out of 🙂
Thank you! It’s much easier to drive!
Those cutie dogs get me every time.
Thank goodness you and your Mum were fine. I understand your feelings about a red car. My first car was red but I’ve had black since.
Thank you!
Oh my, that was really scary Rachel. I’m glad you and mom are safe, only the car is totalled. Still what a fright!
Thank you!
I am so glad that you are both OK. That must have been frightening for you both. Cars can be replaced – people can’t. I think non-dog-people might have a bit of difficulty relating to what we mean with ” it doesn’t smell right” I changed my car last year and that was also a write-off when someone side hit me. My new car – like my old one (and cars before that) was another Ford and yes it didn’t smell right. Took a little while to get it ” Benjified” but it’s ok now Again – glad you are both ok.
Thank you! Benjified sounds wonderful!
The wheel was invented, so…
The global economy and city building is geared towards serving the auto industry, aggregates and a supply chain; and not the QUALITY of life of users and buyers.
I particularly appreciate urban public transport here where I live, SP. There is an avalanche of cars on the streets and roads, especially at peak hours. I keep imagining tired and irritated people, keeping to their schedules, and immobilized inside cars in a stopped line, which anguishes me just by seeing them.
Uber service strikes me as a very sustainable and safe concept; without the burdensome costs, risks and hassle of ownership. Just benefits.
It’s a blessing you weren’t hurt. I understand the attachment to cars, especially Hondas!
Thank you!
I’m glad you and your mom were okay. I know what you mean about the strangeness of getting a new car; I’ve been in a couple of accidents where my car was totaled, so I know what the process is like.
Thank you!
So glad the accident wasn’t any worse for you and mom although I know it can be sad to say goodbye to an old friend, even if it is a car! Good luck with the Subaru!
Thank you!
I am in my second Crosstrek, love this car! Change brings new opportunities to grow and adapt…
I hope so. Thank you!
I’m glad everyone is okay. You are a beautiful writer, I love the way you described this entire situation. My car is red and I’ve noticed lately, so are the majority of other cars where I am parked.
Thank you, and I’m jealous!
Glad you guys are OK. And Subarus are great! I love mine.
Thank you!
WHEW! Glad no one was hurt and you all are safe. It is a challenge to get used to a new car. I know that it can be years and there are still new things to be discovered! “What DOES this switch do?” 🙂 I am sorry that there hasn’t been a diagnosis regarding the numbness. That is frustrating.
Thank you! There are so many new switches!!!
I bet. Just don’t decide to start pressing buttons while you are driving or waiting at a stop light. You never know if you press the super-secret-eject! 🙂
Ha!
Glad you are all ok
Thank you!
Glad you’re okay! I haven’t had to own a car since 2006, only, and now I need one to commute to work daily, so I can appreciate getting used to new things. Glad you weren’t too badly shaken.
Thank you! Good luck!
Happy to hear that you have a new car and life is becoming “normal” again (is there really such a thing as normal?). When you talked about lack of feeling in your feet, it reminded me of why I’ve worn only minnetonka deerskin mocs for 30 years. Wearing them is like being barefoot. I don’t have the foot problems experienced by most people my age. The mocs last several years, too.
Thank you!
I am glad you are ok and that it really was just the shoes this time. I know about missing a red car. We gave our red minivan to our might as well be my son-in-law in February. Fortunately our daughter lives next door so I can look our my window and see the van! LOL
I’m getting used to the suburu but it’s impossible to find in a crowd.
My new car tells me where it is parked! Too funny.
I’m happy that everyone is fine. You write beautifully, and I really like how you described the whole situation. My car is red, and I’ve noticed that many other cars around where I park are also red.
Thank you! And, now I’m jealous.
Praise the Lord! I’m so thankful y’all are okay! The car can be replaced, even though it may seem like family!
Thank you!