I’ve been re-watching a show called Cold Case on the Roku streaming channel. When I saw it on there a few months ago I remembered feeling safe in the hands of the writers and actors on the show, so when I needed reassurance, with the grief of losing Cricket and watching the recent events unfold in Israel, I started watching the episodes from the beginning, often instead of watching the news.
The premise of Cold Case is that this particular Philadelphia homicide squad focuses on cases that have been left unsolved for years, even decades. More often than not, the storylines hold secrets that couldn’t have been told in their own time, either because of the prejudices of the day or the inability of the traumatized people involved to speak up. Music helps to set each episode at a particular place and time, and we see the scenes play out both in the past and the present to bring the story to life, but the real power of the show is in the way the detectives genuinely care about what happened to these people, even so many years later, as if they really believe that every life matters and every story deserves to be told.
I remember so many times in graduate school, both for writing and for social work, when the lesson was the opposite: that no one life really matters that much. In social work, the focus was on the collective – the family, community, institution, etc. – as opposed to the individual. And in writing workshops it was all about the beauty or cleverness of the writing, or the complexity of the plot or the nuances of the sentence structure or variety of descriptions; there was a lot of active disrespect for people whose telling of their own stories was still raw or full of emotion, and there was even more anger at people who wanted to tell stories that “have all been told before,” which often referred to stories about rape, sexual abuse, domestic violence, and eating disorders, not coincidentally stories that are often told by women.
But on Cold Case every story matters. It matters what happened to a young woman who dressed as a man during prohibition; and it matters what happened to an autistic boys’ parents, even if he can’t tell his story in words; and it matters who shot a little black girl on the playground, and how a teenage boy who was thought to be a criminal was killed on a rooftop. It matters who loved who, and what went wrong and why. It has been such a relief to sit on the couch with Mom and Ellie and watch this show and feel that our sympathy can be unlimited, and that there are endless stories that can and should be told.
I don’t think I recognized, when I watched this show the first time around, more than fifteen years ago, that it resonated so deeply with my own story; my childhood has often felt like a cold case, moldering in a file box somewhere. So much of the drama of my adult life has resulted from a crime that never received justice, and I’ve had to fight off the insistence (from others but also from within myself) that my story doesn’t deserve the attention I give to it, and that what happens to me, or people like me, is inconsequential. I still speak up because I know that there is healing in being seen and heard, but the fight has been exhausting. Except, when I watch the detectives connecting with each victim, through their own troubled lives, I feel reassured that they would have cared about what happened to me too. And for a few hours at a time, I don’t have to fight, because I know I matter; I know that we all matter.
If you haven’t had a chance yet, please check out my Young Adult novel, Yeshiva Girl, on Amazon. And if you feel called to write a review of the book, on Amazon, or anywhere else, I’d be honored.
Yeshiva Girl is about a Jewish teenager on Long Island, named Isabel, though her father calls her Jezebel. Her father has been accused of inappropriate sexual behavior with one of his students, which he denies, but Izzy implicitly believes it’s true. As a result of his problems, her father sends her to a co-ed Orthodox yeshiva for tenth grade, out of the blue, and Izzy and her mother can’t figure out how to prevent it. At Yeshiva, though, Izzy finds that religious people are much more complicated than she had expected. Some, like her father, may use religion as a place to hide, but others search for and find comfort, and community, and even enlightenment. The question is, what will Izzy find?
rachelmankowitz 
Very few popular programs center around compassion and paying attention to victims without becoming maudlin and cliche-ridden. It seems that “Cold Case” is one of the rare satisfying gems.
I would love to see them bring it back in other cities. There are so many more stories worth telling.
It sounds amazing.
I get that. I did the same with a favorite series for me, “Bones”, only in the cases of those victims they’re dead. But at least someone cares enough to find the answers.
I loved that show!
It’s true, we all matter. Our lives have many unsolved unanswered questions. Treating these like cold cases from time to time, helps resolve some of them.
Absolutely!
what you have shared is so beautiful & tender🙏🏼i love your discerning thoughts on Cold Case & how this serves as a model to support healing. you seem blessed with a great deal of self-awareness & ability to communicate, which serves you well. i always enjoy your observations❤️ thank you🙏🏼
Thank you!!
I remember seeing Cold Case a long time ago but my memory is fuzzy. I agree it really sounds like a great show. This “But on Cold Case every story matters.” like you said really matters and this sentence touched me “I don’t have to fight, because I know I matter; I know that we all matter.”
It really does make me feel that way, at least for a little while.
How interesting that this show brings you comfort, and I say, ‘go with it,’ whatever works has value.
Thank you!
I used to watch Cold Case when I lived in Texas for those four years – mostly when Pretty was in South Carolina. I liked it for the very same feelings you have when you watch it – Pretty and I recently watched Vera on Britbox together for the same feelings of news avoidance and the sameness of every episode for 13 seasons! You are not alone.
I love Vera! The books are great too!
Love Cold Cases! I especially love how much the detectives care. I need to feel that we all matter, that all our stories are worth telling. Please continue to tell us yours.
Thank you!
That sounds interesting. I will check it out.
We’ve been watching “Madam Secretary” on Netflix–just watched the last episode of Season 5 tonight; tomorrow we will start the sixth season, retitled “Madam President.” There are many things to like about this show, but the main idea that comes across is of a woman in a position of authority who really and truly wants to do what is best for everyone–and not just America, but the entire world. It doesn’t show Congress in a very flattering light, which seems pretty realistic these days, but the State Department comes off pretty good! It’s also been interesting to see how much the program reflects what was really going on in the world at the time–and in some cases what is going on now.
So interesting!
That’s one of my favorite comfort shows. I watch it when the world is too much. ((HUGS))
Thank you!!!
💛
Glad you’ve found some comfort in rewatching the show.
Thank you!
You’re very welcome Rachel
I’ve also enjoyed Cold Case. It airs here on re-runs. I hope some are true resolutions.
Me too!
Aww man your story matters Rachel. Never squash it. Stories like this make me wish i was a closer friend in proximity. Granted by 2 states but can only offer much love and understanding from afar. I know you promote Yeshiva Girl with every post but by golly it was such a compelling read I kinda hope you touched a lot of readers with it. You did me.
Thank you so much!
Beautiful post – both in its insight and sentiment. Thank you for writing it.
Thank you!
EVERY ‘story’ matters. Too many have not received attention. M’lady and I watch Dateline a lot, where they review cold cases, mostly about murders, often leading to a conviction many many years later. It is comforting that some law enforcement keeps after these cases and eventually brings justice to the victim and families.
I love that!
Such a valuable and insightful take on Cold Case, which I also loved watching when it ran. How sadly ironic that the grad school culture in a helping profession and in creative writing failed to give respect to the notion that stories do matter! Says something about the culture’s “progress.” Stories provide one of our most human and primal connections. Love that re-watching these programs (stories) is helpful to you on the heels of your recent loss. You provide wise and relatable example of a healthier way to see the world and life.
Thank you so much!
“my childhood has often felt like a cold case,” Indeed. And the detective who cares is?
Both BOSCH & JESSE STONE specialize in cold cases (shows based on novels). Harry Bosch’s mantra is “everybody matters or nobody matters.” Yet in the most recent show (just aired) his daughter is kidnapped and his ex-partner throws that back at him saying (paraphrase) “Yeah, but family matters more”.
The tension between the individual and the group is a forever element of the human condition.
Great post/insight.
Thank you!
I, too, am a fan of the Cold Case series for exactly the reasons you describe. Compassion resonates through the episodes. Those whose voices are dismissed often convey in pantomime by their symptoms the trauma they were forced to endure. Truth seeks an outlet. I hope having shared your own experience w/ readers you will reach a place that the after effects of your trauma will ease, Rachel. ❤
Thank you!
Yes, we are all children of God…we all matter.
I missed your post about the inimitable Cricket; my deepest sympathy. Rachel, the more I read your work, the greater my admiration becomes. Though my taste doesn’t extend to shows such as “Cold Case,” you’ve cast a light on this program that’s new and illuminating.
I didn’t, however, need “Cold Case” to persuade me You Matter—as a gifted writer and teacher…and a lovely, gentle soul.
Thank you so much!
I LOVED that show!! I am so glad it is in reruns. I watch it when I have time, although lately not much it seems. It was one of my faves when it was on for sure! I love that the music fits the time period of the case! So many great songs!
Every life story is magnificent and matters! Human and other than human too!
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I remember when the #Metoo movement was going on, and I don’t recall the exact specifics; maybe I repeated something I read to my office (the other girls), and they laughed it off. And then said basically that guys will be guys, and we shouldn’t expect them to be better. That’s when I realized some people born in the South have questionable intelligence.
Oy.
We have a couple of similar television programs on our Australian channels. I often watch and, like you, am incredibly touched by the dedication and sincere desires of those involved to uncover the truth of cold cases. It truly warms my heart.
We all deserve to uncover and unearth those experiences that have caused us harm. There is so much power in that resolution.
There really is.
Important reflections about the power of deep listening because each person’s story matters – a lot. Healing doesn’t happen without it…
Thank you!
🤍
Brilliant and beautifully written. You do matter and we all matter, and we always, always, always matter to God because He created us and we belong to Him. May He bless you abundantly and come to you with healing in His wings.
Thank you!
One of my favorite TV Shows