Dominos

Posted on November 9, 2024 by rachelmankowitz

Everything seems like a game of dominos to me.

One mistake leads to another,

and mistakes lead to intentional responses,

and one thing causes another and another,

but when we see the dominos fall

we can never remember the domino that started it all,

and that it was a mistake,

and that there were many choices throughout this process.

We only remember the last thing,

the crisis,

the violence,

or even the death,

and we are sure we know who is to blame,

the only one,

who is responsible for all of it.

No one believes it starts with them.

And no one wants to be

the only domino to fall.

When all the damage is done,

and the accidents are forgotten

and the responsibility is assigned

and the punishment given,

the story ends.

But only until the story begins again.

דוֹמִינוֹס

הָכֹּל נִראָה לִי כְּמוֹ מִשׂחָק דוֹמִינוֹס.

טָעוּת אַחַת מוֹבִילָה לְאַחֶרֶת

וְטָעוּיוֹת מוֹבִילוֹת לְתגוּבוֹת מְכָוָונוֹת,

וְדָבָר אֶחָד גוֹרֵם לְאַחֵר וְאַחֵר.

אַבַל, כְּשְׁאַנָחנוּ רוֹאִים אֶת הָדוֹמִינוֹס נוֹפלִים

אָנַחנוּ אָף פָּעַם לֹא זוֹכרִים אֶת הָדומִינוֹ שְׁהִתחִיל אֶת הָכֹּל,

וְשְׁזֶה הָיָה טָעוּת,

וְשְׁיֵשׁ בָּתָהָלִיך הָזֶה הָרבֵּה בְּרֵירוֹת.

אַנָחנוּ רָק זוֹכרִים אֶת הָדָבָר הָאָחָרוֹן,

הָמָשְׁבֵּר,

הָאָלִימוּת,

אוֹ אָפִילוּ הָמָוֶות,

וְאַנָחנוּ בְּטוּחִים שְׁאַנָחנוּ יוֹדעִים מִי הָאָשָׁם,

הָיְחִיד,

שְׁיֵשׁ לוֹ אַחְרַיוּת עַל הָכֹּל.

אַף אֶחָד לֹא מָאָמִין שְׁזֶה הִתחִיל אִיתָם.

וְאַף אֶחָד לֹא רוֹצֶה לִהִיוֹת

הָדוֹמִינוֹ הָיְחִיד שְׁלִיפּוֹל.

כָּאָשֶׁר כֹּל הָנֶזֶק נָעַשֶׂה,

וְהָתְאוּנוֹת נִשׁכָּחוֹת

וְהָאַחרַיוּת מוֹקצִית

וְהָעוֹנֶשׁ נִיתֵן,

הָסִיפּוּר הִסתָיֵים.

אָבָל, רָק עַד שְׁהָסִיפּוֹר מָתחִיל מְחָדָשׁ.

If you haven’t had a chance yet, please check out my novel, Yeshiva Girl, on Amazon. And if you feel called to write a review of the book, on Amazon, or anywhere else, I’d be honored.

Yeshiva Girl is about a Jewish teenager on Long Island, named Isabel, though her father calls her Jezebel. Her father has been accused of inappropriate sexual behavior with one of his students, which he denies, but Izzy implicitly believes it’s true. As a result of his problems, her father sends her to a co-ed Orthodox yeshiva for tenth grade, out of the blue, and Izzy and her mother can’t figure out how to prevent it. At Yeshiva, though, Izzy finds that religious people are much more complicated than she had expected. Some, like her father, may use religion as a place to hide, but others search for and find comfort, and community, and even enlightenment. The question is, what will Izzy find?