Each day since Donald Trump won the presidential election in the United States, I have been feeling worse and worse. At first, I was just surprised and couldn’t really take it in. I was prepared for the vote counting to take days, and I was prepared for court cases, and threats, and acts of violence, but I was not prepared for him to win.
I think I forgot, or blocked out, a lot of his first term. I remembered enough to never want to go through it again, but I forgot the feeling of chaos that dominated the news cycle, where it felt like Trump was actively trolling us with his cabinet picks. This time around already seems more unhinged than last time (Matt Gaetz for Attorney General? RFK Jr. for Secretary of Health and Human Services?).
I know there are people who want to think of this as just another election, where one side won and the other lost. And I know there will be a lot of minimization and denial in response to the fear that so many, including me, are feeling. But this isn’t normal. In response to Trump’s win, some young men decided to tell young women – Your body, my choice – as if it was a joke, or worse, as if they really believe that to be true.
I feel this like a knife aimed at my throat and my belly and my heart, not like an intellectual puzzle to be worked out. I am worried, especially, because I rely on disability and Medicare to make my life possible, and I don’t know what impact this new administration will have on those programs. I also don’t know what will happen with student loans under Trump (mine were put into a form of forbearance under Biden, but the $10,000 left of my debt was not officially erased).
And then there are the criminal cases against Trump that are being closed down by the Department of Justice, because once he is President again, he can’t be prosecuted for his crimes. And that will, certainly, embolden Trump in his extra-legal tendencies going forward, as will the supreme court’s wide-ranging decision on presidential immunity for acts done in office.
I grew up in a home run by an unpredictable, predatory, and manipulative man, and I am not feeling good about the next four years. I felt the calm of the Biden years in my bones, when there were days, and even weeks, when I didn’t have to think about politics at all, and I don’t know how my body and mind will respond to the return of the chaos.
I wish, given all of this, that the Democratic party, and the pundits, would stop blaming each other for the loss, and instead focus on how to safeguard our rights as much as possible moving forward. There is room for analysis of what went wrong, and why, but not with the vitriol and self-righteousness that’s filling the airwaves at the moment. Some people believe that the Democratic party lost because it was too hoity toity, or because it didn’t come up with enough policies to help the working class, or it was too progressive, or too moderate, or didn’t reach out to men enough, or didn’t reach out to people of color enough. But my sense, then and now, was that people did the best they could with the understanding they had of the voting public at the time. They were just wrong.
From what I could see, Donald Trump’s campaign set out to discourage people from voting: by creating distrust in government overall, by telling people that their votes wouldn’t make a difference, by cutting legal voters from the rolls at the last minute and limiting the number of polling places in populated areas, and by openly threatening that if people voted for the Democrats there would be violence in the streets. The fact is, Trump won this election with around the same number of votes he had in the last election, when he lost to Biden. His coalition didn’t grow. If he picked up a few new people (Arab and Latino men, for example), he lost others (former Republicans who saw the January 6th insurrection, or any number of other events, as the final straw.). But for some reason, none of the pundits want to acknowledge that what Donald Trump said and did actually impacted the outcome of the election; they’d rather blame Kamala Harris, or Joe Biden, or this or that miscalculation by someone else. But what if there was no Democratic candidate who could have beaten Trump at this moment in history? Can we tolerate knowing that?
And now, with the reality of Donald Trump as our next president, are there lessons we could be learning about why his messages resonated so deeply with some people, and about how we can better meet those people where they are when explaining our goals in the future? Can we turn away from the back biting, blame, and guilt and consider some paths forward? There have been some thoughtful, and possibly helpful hypotheses for why Trump was able to win: some people say that the underlying cause of Trump’s win is the growth of the far-right media landscape, which often eschews main stream journalistic values (aka doesn’t care about validating facts before publishing them); some say that the problem is with the main stream media itself, which claims objectivity even though reporters often have their own unacknowledged biases; some say that our problem is a lack of education in civics, which would allow people to be better prepared to judge political actors for themselves, and also to feel some agency and confidence when engaging with our political system. All of these things sound possible to me, and all of them lay out paths forward for good work to be done by well-meaning, hard-working, and creative people.
One of the things that bothered me, endlessly, in the lead up to election day, was the number of Democratic activists who believed they were accomplishing something by sending out postcards reminding people to vote (I received two or three of these, after I’d already voted by mail), or who went knocking on doors in neighborhoods where they didn’t actually live or know anyone personally (as if I would ever answer the door to a stranger, let alone listen to their political spiel). Busy work in politics, it seems to me, is just as much of a waste of time as it is in the classroom. And busy work that actively annoys people? That’s even worse.
As a teacher, I believe in the power of education to create change, and as a writer I believe in the power of storytelling to reach people in ways that slogans can’t. For example, I learned more about LGBTQ issues, and took them in more fully, by watching TV shows and movies that humanized gay and trans people, than I ever learned from an ad campaign. Show me someone I can relate to, who is impacted by this or that societal wrong, and you have a much better chance of getting me involved than if you yell at me and insist that my views change to match yours, just because you say you’re right.
I believe that we can make lasting societal change by investing our time and energy in telling those stories and allowing people to change their own minds, but it has been, admittedly, very hard to focus on those hopeful, long term paths forward in the face of the firehose of news about what’s coming next in the short term.
What will happen to efforts to prevent climate change? Or to improve accountability among the police? Or with immigration? Will the Republicans finally put through the immigration bill they wrote with the Democrats last year, and then tanked when Trump told them he needed the border issue for the election? Or will they insist on changing the deal, but be unable to agree among themselves over what changes to make? Or will our immigration system remain an unmitigated disaster for the foreseeable future, just to give Republicans something to campaign on in 2026?
When Trump’s promised Tariffs go into place, will some of his newfound voters regret their choice? Or will they believe the spin Trump puts on all of it (it must be Biden’s fault, you’re not seeing what you think you’re seeing, if you were stupid enough to be conned you deserve to be screwed – that was one of my father’s favorite mantras).
And I assume tax cuts, for corporations and the super wealthy, will be a priority and will lead to all kinds of cuts in the social safety net, though it’s hard to know what the new congress will be able to pass, even with a Republican majority in the senate and the house, given the history of disagreements among the Republicans themselves. Trump will certainly be able to load the supreme court, though, and the rest of the federal court system, with young conservative judges who will determine the course of justice in this country for decades to come.
I am frightened of Donald Trump, and of all of the things he has promised to do, and of all of the things he will do that I can’t predict, or even imagine. And I am afraid of how his second presidency will further darken our public discourse, and create even more fragmentation among us; but I want to believe that there are things we can do to prevent all of that, or at least some of it.
As I learned way back when, and still believe, Democracy is the best of all of the imperfect systems of government that we have available to us, because it requires us to be more engaged with each other. It doesn’t require us all to agree; if anything, what it requires is for all of us to feel like we belong at the table, hashing out our differences and finding ways forward that we can all live with.
I’ve found so much solace in writing this blog, and hearing from people who take the time to engage with me, or just to let me know they hear me and I am not alone. We all need that kind of connection and respect in our lives. We all need to hear and be heard, to feel seen and cared about, and to feel an obligation to someone other than ourselves that will keep us going even when our own inspiration and motivation is low.
We still have a Democracy today, even with Donald Trump’s openly authoritarian aspirations, and we need to make the most of it. We still have power, and responsibility, and we can still make sure that our voices are heard. It will be harder, and we (and definitely I) will have some awful days, but we are not alone in any of this. We can help each other get through to the other side, no matter who we voted for. If we choose to.
If you haven’t had a chance yet, please check out my novel, Yeshiva Girl, on Amazon. And if you feel called to write a review of the book, on Amazon, or anywhere else, I’d be honored.
Yeshiva Girl is about a Jewish teenager on Long Island, named Isabel, though her father calls her Jezebel. Her father has been accused of inappropriate sexual behavior with one of his students, which he denies, but Izzy implicitly believes it’s true. As a result of his problems, her father sends her to a co-ed Orthodox yeshiva for tenth grade, out of the blue, and Izzy and her mother can’t figure out how to prevent it. At Yeshiva, though, Izzy finds that religious people are much more complicated than she had expected. Some, like her father, may use religion as a place to hide, but others search for and find comfort, and community, and even enlightenment. The question is, what will Izzy find?
rachelmankowitz 
I hear you. I think that the slogan of this election should be “it’s the hatred, stupid”. People chose hatred, cruelty and violence. The economy was good, getting better and will get bad, that is what every policy they have will do. This is not a concern to the oligarchy, because they will be fine in a depression. People who say they were motivated by the economy are lying. DJT voters were, and are, motivated by hatred. It is right to fear both the incoming administration and the people who voted for it. Give them a wide berth.
The best way to make voices heard going forward will be through financial choices. I think it would be great if people can organize something like a week long spending fast starting on January 20th.
Interesting idea!
I believe Harris would have won if she could have had more media exposure. Don’t forget that she entered the race at almost the last minute. Meanwhile, Trump has had tons of media exposure, good and bad for the past eight years or so. Harris was an otherwise marvelous candidate. She has many very redeemable qualities as a compassionate human being and as a wise office holder with much practical experience as a problem solver. In the end, voters did not know a lot about Harris. They seem to have settled for the known candidate in spite of his many terrible flaws. I do not look forward to the next four years. I do plan to ramp up my memberships in pro-democracy, pro-human rights non-profit orgainzations. We must be proactive as much as we are able.
We’ll do everything we can!
Trump talks big. He’s a bully. With all the hate-mongers he is nominating for his cabinet now, he wants to instill in all people, but especially the GOP, that he is the Boss-capital B.
That said, no person has had a lovefest for the entire four years. There is anger now about his nominees. I don’t see any one of them lasting the duration. Trump has not changed, Rachel. The uneasiness and discontent is felt by so many–and that is real. But I think we need to take a wait and see attitude. ‘Promises made, promises kept’–I doubt he can actually make that happen. And God help us if anyone, anydamnone, decides to pursue how he can serve a third term!
Oy.
Exactly.
Rachel, you’ve described in a heartfelt manner what I’ve been reading from fellow blogger after fellow blogger south of the border. It’s scary as hell, both for America and the world. Even though I know all the rationalizations about how a majority of voters could have made this appalling choice, completely contrary to their own best interests unless they’re already rich, I’ll never really be able to process it. My faith in mankind is not in a good place at the moment. My heart goes out to you and to a country that could be heading in such a different direction. 🥲💔
It’s mind bending. But I think my faith in humanity has always been limited to, and reaffirmed by, the good people I meet, rather than a sense that everyone means well.
I feel for you ❤️. Even though I’m in the UK I remember that term of 4 years and the 6th. Unbelievable time I believe.
Here in the UK we have a new government who is trying to get rid of free speech, increasing taxes, too many people in the country and allowing more in. This is even though the public services cannot cope as it is.
Controling media, social networks. Imprison people who were stupid enough to go to riots, but then letting prisoners who are already in prison for robbery, theft, assaults, women attacks. Letting them out only serving I think was only 40% of there sentence.
Children in schools I heard 9 years old, being reported to the police for playground banter, bullying of saying not the right thing.
The police arresting people for what they say is hate speech or inviting violence on social media, but the shop thefts, knife crime and burglaries go up.
I’m also afraid to leave the house.
With all the problems in the world and we get political opponents squabbling like children. Saying what they want.
I do not know what to do, we need to just stay strong and pray 🙏. Hope all works out.
fingers crossed!
Great post, Rachel. Like you I have great fear of losing my medical, the things that keep me alive, like my drugs, my home care.
The man is sick, sick, sick.
It’s frightening how easily people are convinced by him.
An excellent post Rachel; thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Thank you!
Malaise is certainly an apt word in this case. I haven’t been able to bring myself to write about it. I’m just sick of it all. I talked a big talk about moving out of country if he won, and well, now he has. I told my husband I wanted to stay and fight and work for the common good, but that there are lines in the sand. I just know that I wouldn’t feel better for being far away. Thank you for sharing. You have a great deal more wisdom than most out there pontificating on the issues at play…
Thank you!
There are no words for how angry and scared and disgusted I am now. I keep thinking, “How could people be so stupid as to vote for him?” I plan to do volunteer work, so I can help immigrants or women or the environment. I can’t sit back and watch Trump and his administration wreck our country again.
Good luck, to all of us!
Rachel always with the right thing to say 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 here’s hoping the transition of power ISN’T a nightmare scenario. That is my worst fear.
Biden and his team will do their best to act as if this is normal, but, it’s just not.
I realize that, I am just hope it’s not overtaken by acts of violence. If so, perhaps people will finally wake up…although it feels as if it’s too late. Honestly both parties are corrupt, but 47 is by far the worst of the worst.
I tend to avoid political blog posts but I have to say I agree with you and I think what you are saying is very well thought through. Making RFK secretary of Health and Human Services is like replacing NASA with the Flat Earth Society. Well, maybe that’s coming up next.
I read somewhere that 20% of Republicans have been voting for Trump’s opponents (Clinton & Harris) because they were so turned off by both his awful character and anti-libertarian policies. Yet he won, because 20% of Democrats switched party and voted for Trump. Who were they? They were mostly white blue color workers turned off by identity politics and the border crisis. However, there is also the issue of massive amounts of misinformation and poor education. A lot of people don’t know anything about economics or science. Trump loves the poorly educated as he himself said (it wasn’t a compliment). As for me, I am concerned with what this might mean for climate change action. I hope everything will turn out fine for you and your loved ones.
I think the fight against climate change has already been lost, to be honest. Long before Trump came along. What’s happening now is that the poorest and most vulnerable are left to deal with the consequences of climate change, mostly without financial support from the people who caused it, and continue to cause it.
Well there’s going to be damage, it has already started. However, what we do now and in the coming years will have a big impact on how bad it will get. It is not an all or nothing but a matter of degree (pun intended). We’ve made some good progress over the last 20 years. It is not enough and the effects will get much worse before it gets better, but without the progress we’ve made it would have been much worse.
There’s no single explanation for Trump’s victory. I voted for Kamala Harris, as did about 80% of Jewish Americans.
One reason is old fashioned prejudice. Many people can’t cope with a non white woman with authority. I think another reason is the Democratic Party itself has become an autocracy, intolerant of any dissent.
For example, the reaction to Seth Moulton voicing a controversial concern about transgender athletes possibly having unfair advantage. This was not an expression of trans/homophobic bigotry. The reaction among Massachusetts Democrats was extreme in the way of isolating and vilifying him. Seth was a target of the Jan 6 insurrectionists. many of those people were from Massachusetts and familiar with him as a vocal Trump critic.
Was this his payback for not following a party line 100%. This mentality among the Democratic leadership very likely alienated many voters.
IN spite of my criticism, I’d also never vote for Trump. A felon, a traitor, a sex predator and a con man. Kamala didn’t lose the election. America itself lost for willingly choosing Trump.
I’m very familar with Kamala’s work as a prosecutor pursuing wealthy and well connected sex traffickers, at great risk to her career and personal safety.
She’s a true leader. Trump is just a very successful con man . I read the arguments glorifying him, and they seem so absurd to me.
NO doubt people will analyze the election a long time.
Claude
My assumption, ahead of the election, was that people would be unwilling to vote for a felon, rapist, liar, etc. I thought at least the majority would see that any concerns they had about Kamala Harris (female, minority, too smart, moderate, whatever else), would pale in comparison to the horror Trump represents. I still don’t know why I as wrong about that, but I was.
I figured that Kamala would win by a small margin, maybe a few million votes. There’s no denying that Trump has a lot of support. I figured that all the legal and moral issues against him would.ve taken support away from him. I have to say how totally disappointed I am that many people don’t have a problem supporting him in spite of the negative factors I remember how the day after he was convicted of attempted rape on E Jean Carroll, there was a huge rally in NH with thousands of people cheering for him. Being as how I deal with survivors of sexual abuse, I felt especially offended by this. I’m also not surprised. It’s an old story of blaming victims .
Claude
Rachel, this was my assumption also! Surely, we wouldn’t put individual like this at the helm of our nation! Again! The first time he was elected, I just couldn’t believe it. This time around, I’m more than that. It’s very difficult not to believe that this is America on its death bed.
It’s a really scary time, honestly.
I chose Seth Moulton for my example because he’s a Representative from Massachusetts, and I lived the first 30 years of my life in Massachusetts
He’s the kind of Democrat the party should encourage, not alienate.
The reaction given him made the Democratic leadership look shabby to many people
So, that’s some thoughts
Claude
I’m frustrated by the extremes and the purity tests; having a two party system means that each party needs to be a coalition of various interests working together, but the extremes keep wanting dominance.
It’s a human nature issue to me. There are too many people along the entire range of the political spectrum who are intolerant of even the smallest divergence of opinion.
Even though I figure there are many reasons for Trump winning, I think of it as something within our society itself. Too many people feel ignored and
need to believe that somebody like Trump cares about them. Almost like a drug addict needing to have a fix, so to speak. Even though I have criticisms of the Democratic Party itself, I’d never vote for somebody like Trump.
I like reading your [posts Rachel
Claude
Thank you!
incredibly, thoughtful blog tonight. Thank you for sharing what many of us are thinking and feeling. My daughter is a wheelchair user and I worry how many of her supports will be cut within the next four years. Thanks for sharing. Vickie
It’s really scary.
I feel for America. We’re in the same boat here in India. Let’s hope the pendulum swings back and some decent, honest and humane people come to power the next time round – everywhere in the world.
Wouldn’t that be wonderful?!
Good post! Informative as well.
I can’t believe half the US population chose this narcissistic sociopath to be their leader. I would almost question their sanity or IQ. I mean you can’t help the majority of rednecks down yonder but what about the others? Don’t make a bit of sense to me. We Europeans don’t get it. Maybe easy for us to say?
And what about the people he is apparently appointing? Elon Musk, who looks and acts like the Joker? 🤡 Whatever works I guess…
Plus, why don’t anyone vote on the Green Party? 0 votes?
At the end of the day only one thing counts, sadly, and that is money💰 Life is expensive I get it and but to vote for Trump is different price people are willing to pay…
Wishing you strength for the next 4 years 🙏 Shalom!
Thank you!
You have beautifully articulated the fears of many, and not just those living in US.
Thank you!
A very well articulated and thoughtful post. Here in the UK most of us are aghast at America’s choice. Trump appears to be modelling himself on the Kremlin – a frightening spectre for your citizens. Let’s hope there will be enough saner Republicans who will block some of his proposals! Wishing you well 👏
Fingers crossed!
This is so much more than ‘just another election’, and it affects the whole world, not just the American people. To those who voted otherwise, it is almost inconceivable that he won. Though I did predict that America would never vote for a female president, and certainly not a black woman. Once Trump and his gang of misfits get into their stride next year, the world will be literally holding its breath.
Best wishes, Pete.
I don’t really understand what it is about America that makes it impossible for a woman to become president. I was so excited that we were finally going to fix that…
Amen, Rachel. You wrote this better than I ever could. Perhaps the best possible thing to happen during the next 4 years is nothing. And keep praying our worst fears don’t come true.
fingers and paws crossed!
Rachel,
you’ve summarized the post election noise comprehensively, and offered some areas for current and future investment of personal and political energies. I agree wholeheartedly with your assessment of the busy work that many (including myself) did w postcards and canvassing that I feel may actually be damaging (by having people of means tell people of fewer means what they need to do —ie vote; it turns out to be insulting). And you also offer glimmers of hope. There is much to fear both from what we expect to happen and from the ignorant chaos of the unknown. You are most certainly not alone. Everyone I know feels as you do. One friend said: “I wish I could speak to my long-dead German grandfather and ask him what he know, how he knew, when he knew, and where the courage came from to leave behind everything except life.”
Somehow Trump was able to convince people that he was one of them, and looking out for them. I don’t know why that message resonated when it is so obviously untrue, but it did.
I feel your pain! I go back and forth between anger and sadness. Been trying to tune out the news and practice a little self-care, but I know that I need to get back into the fight. Thank you for expressing what so much of us are feeling with such eloquence!
Keep up the self care, too. Just remaining healthy and hopeful is going to be a big part of the challenge.
I’m not even in the USA and I’m terrified. I’m in Ireland, but I’m terrified for women, for what this win for trump means, for the world! I definitely wanted Kamala to win! I think it is tragic that Donald Trump won this election!
At this moment in history, what happens in the US impacts the rest of the world directly. In a way, Trump seems to want to end that impact, and at the same time as he revels in the power.
The fact that 71 million Americans supported Trump was what distressed me most. I must have lived in a fantasy America for the past nearly 8 decades.
Ever since his win in 2016, I’ve had this reality hanging over me. Even when he lost in 2020, the same number of people still supported him. There doesn’t seem to be a learning curve, or a reality check, or a felony charge that can convince people he doesn’t deserve their vote.
I am overwhelmed with disbelief, too. Pretty and I are bereft.
Me too.
So many thoughtful points to comment on and discuss. We could make a day of discussing this all. It”s interesting the same rough number of votes for him resulted in a different result for him. That’s the power of the “alternative candidates” and people “making a statement” by voting for neither major party candidate. There will be bluster and there will be threats, but I don’t see much action. Partly as you said, there’s division within that party, and partly because we’re looking at an administration that, for example, needs TWO people to head up an Office of Efficiency (not to mention there already is such a department in the OMB). I think it will be a term of not much being accomplished but a lot of speeches about everything that’s being accomplished. Good luck to us all.
That office of efficiency thing is crying out for a Monty Python movie, and Elon Musk is like the cartoon version of a villain. How did we get here?
Oh I can see 4 years of Monty Python plots. Matching up all the characters is definitely blog worthy! How oh how indeed?
I hear you. Hugs.
Thank you!
I am not a doctor or a nurse, but I know that the first step to SAVE a wounded body that is convulsing and about to die is to STOP the bleeding.
You succinctly explained why so many of us came out of this election cycle with a sick and foreboding feeling.
Thank you!
I have so much fear inside as well with how this turned out. I fear for my LGBTQ+ friends. For my friends with young daughters and for my women friends of child-bearing years/dreams. I agree, though- we need to stop asking how this happened and try to figure out how to prevent the madness from the madman from taking over this country. As much fear as I have, the eternal optimist that I am still has hope.
Hope is a superpower!
summed up the thoughts of every rational person – nicely written Rachel. I think we are in for some very interesting infighting over the next 4 years, if not a total implosion based on recent cabinet choices.
guess it’s just keep watching and see!
Thank you!
Thanks for putting words to my feelings, Rachel🙏🏼
Thank you!
I understand all of your thoughts and feelings here. The damage Trump does is wide and lasting.
But somehow we need to get through it all, not worry about things that haven’t happened and may not ever, and find joy in every day.
Thank you!
We endured the chaos of the first time, we will make it through again. Three quotes to live by the next four years, by Frederick Douglass.
“Without a struggle, there can be no progress.
The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppose.
Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will.”
Struggle. Endure. Demand.
We will do our best!
There’s a black cloud again over America. He’s so not worthy to president, and he’s full of dumb and dumber. My new maga definition is Making America Go Away.
Did you hear about the island in Sardinia that’s inviting Americans?
Excelente o seu texto. Aqui no Brasil tivemos pesadelo semelhante quando Jair Bolsonaro esteve na presidência. Ele e Trump são semelhantes e igualmente medíocres.
I was praying for Donald Trump to win. I have never prayed about an election before. Kamala Harris supports abortion. She has no qualms about killing innocent babies.
Rachel, my heart goes with you and millions like you. I feel your pain and frustration. It is unbelievable and incomprehensible. My reaction the next day was: “Why America, why? Why did you sell your soul to the devil. Your groceries won’t get cheaper, your paycheck won’t get bigger. Is a bully, a convicted felon, better than a woman of colour.” Because I think America was not ready for a woman. Let alone a woman of colour, no matter how good she was. Even here, north of the border, the pundits were very careful jockeying with this idea.
Hugs, Diana.
It’s very hard to accept that this is our new reality.
Let’s just hope that democracy will prevail and in 4 years he will be gone for good.