Tag Archives: chutzpah

Yiddish Storytelling

(This post was written before today’s attack on Israel by Hamas. I have no words, except to say that I’m sending love and prayers to family, friends, teachers and classmates in Israel right now. I will leave it to politicians and journalists to describe what is happening on the ground, but I decided to post this essay, about the joy of teaching Judaism to Jewish children, because that joy is a big part of what keeps me going and I hope it helps others too.)

            This year for my synagogue school elective, I’m teaching Yiddish, sort of. More like I’m teaching the kids some of the Yiddish words that have become popular among American Jews, so they can feel like they are part of the club when people around them are kvetching (complaining, whining) and kibbitzing (chatting, gossiping) and kvelling (expressing great pleasure and pride in someone else’s achievements) over a nosh (a snack) of bagels and lox.

“I like to nosh!”

            The hardest part of planning the class was trying to limit the number of words I would teach them. I mean, you have to do verklempt (choked up with emotion) and schlep (drag something, or drag yourself somewhere) and chutzpah, but how can you leave out farshtunkene (stinking, rotten, contemptible) or bupkes (nothing, literally “goat droppings”)?

            At first, I thought I would use video clips of famous comedy routines or movie scenes to help them get a feel for how the words are said, but most of the clips were way too grown up in content, or so chock full of Yiddish words that the kids would have been overwhelmed. So I decided to go with theme days, and have the kids tell their own stories using Yiddish words on that theme. For Chutzpah Day, I decided to leave it at just the one word, because everyone has chutzpah stories: times when they had the chutzpah to speak up or take action, times when they didn’t have the chutzpah to do something they wanted to do, and plenty of times when someone else had the chutzpah to do something crazy nearby. And for Oy Vey Day, of course, we start with Oy Vey, the classic expression of dismay and then plotz (exploding or fainting with emotion) and shpilkes (restlessness, or “sitting on pins”), which pretty much every child in synagogue school experiences everyday.

Oy Vey.”

            But I started with Kvetch Day, because I knew the kids would have a ton of complaints that they needed to get out, and the chance to vent, while saying funny words that make you spit or cough, is priceless. They go through so much tzuris (troubles, worries, suffering) in their daily lives, and there are so many times when brothers or sisters are nudniks, interfering with games or bothering them endlessly, and of course when your friend gets a new iPhone for Hanukah and you get socks, which is worse than bupkes, it stings.        

“Every day is a Kvetch day.”

My own adventures in Yiddish have been meaningful to me, which is why I wanted to bring it to the kids, at least in a lighthearted way. The language itself is a history of where Jews lived over a thousand years, picking up new words from each new town and city they lived in, a lot from medieval German, but also from Polish and Russian, and plenty from Hebrew itself.

            I wish I knew more about Ladino, the language of Jews from the Iberian Peninsula, who had to leave during and after the Spanish Inquisition. Ladino is based on an old version of Spanish, mixed with Hebrew, and just like Yiddish, picked up words as the people who spoke it traveled to new homes in Amsterdam, and South America and the Ottoman Empire, again with Hebrew laced through it like the blue thread woven through the tzitzit.

            There are so many other Jewish languages, from all the different places where Jews have lived, because the Hebrew from prayer and study bled into the language of the market place automatically as they lived their daily lives.

            We’re living through a period, now, where diversity is celebrated, and it’s ok, with most people, that Jews often maintain their own customs and languages as well as becoming full-fledged members of the communities where they live. But historically, that wasn’t the case. Even when Jewish separateness was enforced by the local governments, keeping Jews out of certain neighborhoods and professions, it still bothered the locals that the Jews had their own ways of living, and their own languages in which to do it, because you never knew what they were saying to each other.

            But right now, when everyone is allowed to celebrate their unique cultures, of food and music and language and fashion, Jews are feeling freer to celebrate it too, and to celebrate all of the different cultures that have been woven through Judaism over the millennia. There are tons of cookbooks for Jewish foods from the Middle East and Eastern Europe and South America and North America, and Jewish families on Long Island are eating foods from Morocco and Jamaica and Russia and Ethiopia at their Passover Seders, as a way to honor the diversity of the Jewish people, and because they’re really yummy.

            What I want most for my students is that they will gradually grow their idea of what it means to be Jewish, so they aren’t limited to what they see in their own communities on Long Island, but can also see that Judaism has existed and transformed over and over again in a million different forms, and therefore there will always be room for them to bring their own unique ideas to the table. And I want them to know that their own stories are just as important as Abraham and Isaac and Jacob’s and Tevye and Herzl and Golda’s. I especially want them to know that the Jewish people have always been complainers, and have grown and changed and lived good and interesting lives as a result of having their say. I want them to know that their voices are to be celebrated and heard, no matter how much phlegm they cough up along the way.

“Nu, we’re listening.”

If you haven’t had a chance yet, please check out my Young Adult novel, Yeshiva Girl, on Amazon. And if you feel called to write a review of the book, on Amazon, or anywhere else, I’d be honored.

            Yeshiva Girl is about a Jewish teenager on Long Island, named Isabel, though her father calls her Jezebel. Her father has been accused of inappropriate sexual behavior with one of his students, which he denies, but Izzy implicitly believes it’s true. As a result of his problems, her father sends her to a co-ed Orthodox yeshiva for tenth grade, out of the blue, and Izzy and her mother can’t figure out how to prevent it. At Yeshiva, though, Izzy finds that religious people are much more complicated than she had expected. Some, like her father, may use religion as a place to hide, but others search for and find comfort, and community, and even enlightenment. The question is, what will Izzy find?

Chutzpah

            Just the other day, someone described me as having chutzpah, because of some small thing I said in a meeting that no one else seemed willing to say. I wasn’t sure if I was being complimented or not, or even if chutzpah was the right word for such a small thing, but the moment stuck with me.

            According to Wikipedia, chutzpah is a Yiddish word meaning audacity. It has strong negative connotations, but can also be interpreted in a positive way, as courage or guts. It’s originally from the Aramaic/Hebrew root word “Chataph,” meaning insolent or impudent, and is often used to refer to someone who has overstepped the boundaries of polite behavior.

And I can see that in myself, because I’m not especially good at being polite. I’ve often gotten in trouble for saying things I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to say. Chutzpah, even the saying of it, requires impoliteness, like coughing up phlegm, and not being so lady-like or quiet.

“You should have named me Chutzpah instead of Cricket. This is me!”

            If we stick with the root word, chataph, and define chutzpah as insolence or impudence, both of those words describe the behavior of someone with less power towards someone with more power, and that fits with the origin of my impolite behavior, in childhood. A parent can’t be impudent or insolent towards their child; they can be mean, insensitive, hurtful, etc., but a child can be impudent or insolent towards a parent or other adult, breaking the rules of conduct and risking punishment by ignoring the rules imposed on them.

            Yiddish as a language overall has chutzpah. It’s heretical, and powerful, and antagonistic to the norm, and in my quiet way I am all of these things; not because I want to be, but because my reality is so different from what I’ve been told to expect.

Yiddish almost became a dead language, when the majority of Yiddish speakers were killed in the Holocaust, but it’s coming back to life, and I think that’s because it serves a much needed purpose. Yiddish is about seeing the world from an outsider’s perspective, and poking a finger at those in power, and being subversive, and funny. It’s a language that is used to talk behind someone else’s back (preferably someone who doesn’t understand Yiddish), or to take the stuffing out of a person (who does understand Yiddish), or to complain about a frustrating reality, or to do some truth telling instead of trying to calm the waters.

            As I said in the beginning, my form of chutzpah is generally a willingness to say what no one else in the room will say: that the emperor has no clothes on, or that the elephant in the room is starting to smell. I’ve done that from early childhood, not because I wanted to be disruptive or rude or audacious, but because I couldn’t figure out why no one else was acknowledging the obvious, and it hurt my brain to try to pretend things weren’t happening when they were. I don’t mind politeness in general, I just mind it when it is hiding important truths. Like, let’s not pretend that the guy in the doorway with a gun is just coming over for tea, okay?

“But are there snacks to go with the tea?”

            I read another definition of chutzpah, though, that said that someone with chutzpah is someone who ignores what others think, and denies personal responsibility for their actions, and lacks remorse, regret, guilt, or sympathy. And that’s not me at all. But it’s hard to get a handle on a word that means so many different things to different people. It’s not a word like, say, light bulb, which everyone will understand in pretty much the same way.

            I had an English teacher in High School who made us memorize definitions for our vocabulary words, and if even one word varied from the exact definition she’d given us, we’d lose points. She didn’t test us on our ability to comprehend the word in context, or to use it in a sentence, instead she treated every word as if it had an exact and unchanging meaning. Except, words aren’t like that. Words are adopted and adapted to fit the current needs of the speakers of the language. I see this every week in my online Hebrew class, where words I learned thirty years ago have gone out of style, or picked up new baggage from how they’ve been used on the street or in business or in politics in Israel.

            I’d like to think that if I do have chutzpah, it’s the good kind and not the sociopathic kind, but most of the time I feel like I don’t have enough chutzpah, or self-confidence, or whatever it takes to really make a mark in the world, and make change. It takes so much energy to speak up in a discussion, and argue against the speaker’s certainty, only to find out later that mine was actually the majority opinion in the room but no one else felt free to say anything. I’d rather not have to fight at all, honestly, but that doesn’t seem to be an option. So, maybe next time I have to be chutzpahdik and speak an impolite truth, someone else will stand up and be chutzpahdik with me. God, that would be so much better.

“We’re with you!

If you haven’t had a chance yet, please check out my Young Adult novel, Yeshiva Girl, on Amazon. And if you feel called to write a review of the book, on Amazon, or anywhere else, I’d be honored.

            Yeshiva Girl is about a Jewish teenager on Long Island, named Isabel, though her father calls her Jezebel. Her father has been accused of inappropriate sexual behavior with one of his students, which he denies, but Izzy implicitly believes it’s true. As a result of his problems, her father sends her to a co-ed Orthodox yeshiva for tenth grade, out of the blue, and Izzy and her mother can’t figure out how to prevent it. At Yeshiva, though, Izzy finds that religious people are much more complicated than she had expected. Some, like her father, may use religion as a place to hide, but others search for and find comfort, and community, and even enlightenment. The question is, what will Izzy find?