Some people resonate with each other, not because they are objectively the same but because they complement each other in interesting ways. We often talk about yin and yang, where two people create a whole circle, but I tend to think more of melody and harmony. It’s not a circle with no holes, it’s a song that resonates and echoes.
Cricket and Butterfly are not a perfect match. First of all, they look too much alike. They have the same color hair, both white with apricot markings in mostly the same places. And they both bark, at different pitches, but not in a harmony of beautiful sound; they are not a choir, they are a cacophony of noise. They are not the same height, but also not opposites, like big and small or fat and skinny. They are just small and smaller. They don’t fill all of the possible spaces in the world with their two personalities, but sometimes they harmonize in interesting and beautiful ways.
Butterfly was very excited to meet Cricket on her first day home.
Cricket was less excited.
“Okay, maybe she’s not so bad.”
Cricket is much more of a protector, wild with noise and ready to lunge at friends and strangers alike, and Butterfly is more of a conciliator, but not always. She is not always slow and Cricket is not always fast. But they have worked out, as sisters. They have not camped out at opposite sides of the apartment, hissing at each other like cats. They do not ignore each other. Sometimes they snuggle or sleep close by each other. Sometimes they don’t. Sometimes one is going crazy and the other stands by with a lifted eyebrow, but then the roles reverse.
Cricket, protecting the world from the inherent violence of sticks.
Butterfly, meditating on the absence of chicken treats.
They often like to walk in opposite directions, to see how far my arms can stretch away from my body.
Sometimes the girls even work together.
I think we have this unreachable ideal of perfection in love, of black and white, all or nothing, that two people either match perfectly or they don’t match at all. But what if it’s not supposed to be just two people completing each other? Maybe no one person is the perfect and whole complement to any other person, because that wouldn’t leave room for anything or anyone else. Even the happiest couples crave children, or friendships, or dogs, teachers, or coworkers, or clergy. There has to be some room left over in a couple for the rest of the world to filter in – not like a great flood whooshing through the relationship and wiping everything out, but room for more people, more ideas, more emotions. There are so many couples at my synagogue who have lasted 40, 50, and 60 years together and they still leave room for other people and activities and ideas. They accept that there are unfilled spaces between them, and that that’s a good thing.
Both of my dogs resonate with me (I did choose them after all). Cricket’s Sturm und Drang and high drama and need for closeness speak of the volume of emotion coursing through me all my life. The noise of her happiness and pain and excitement and rage, and her unbearable joy in love and curiosity and new things, resonates with me. And the way she studies the things she loves so carefully and with such attention, is just like me.
“Food!!!!!!!!”
Butterfly is this sweet grief, this place of joy and pain mixed together that I remember from visiting my grandfather, and going out for ice cream sundaes at six in the morning because Grandma couldn’t stand to wake up to children in her house. Butterfly is joy tempered by patience, and when she knows what she needs, endless stubbornness and knowledge that she is right. We are the same! This is me! Well, not all of me, but some. And I could make room for more soul mates like these, because there is more of me to be met.
“I think I can…I think I can.”
I am always on the lookout for people who will resonate with me and I’ve had to learn to give the chemistry more time to grow – but there are still people who, right away, glow for me; people whose energy reaches across the room to me so that I can feel it in my fingers and on my face. I don’t understand this. I worry that I can’t live without this kind of glow.
What if, in two or three ways, you have that full on orchestral sound in your ears with someone, but on the fourth note: cacophony? Or, you’re both in sync, but your families hate the sound of each other? Or what if your families like each other and you have no major cacophonies, but the harmonies between you are only middling, is that better?
I don’t know. Maybe I should just leave it to Cricket to decide.
She’s ready.
rachelmankowitz 
Yeh its pretty cool..
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Sweet. Very sweet.
Thank you so much!
Reblogged this on somethingthatmakesyouhappyx.
Wow! Thank you!
No worries I enjoyed the read x
omg I love your dogs!!!
great post and super cute pictures ! loved it
Thank you so much!
I like your description of it not being like ying and yang, I think a lot of people spend too much time trying to make that “perfect circle”. I am polyamorous and one of the good things about that is that it is easy to accept that people compliment each other and you don’t need to try to find/make one person fit perfectly into your circle 🙂
Oh my!
This is actually a very nice post on how different people (dogs) interact with each other and I think it shows how such people can still combine to good effect. The issues with your dogs are just a microcosm of the real world and this piece will hopefully be informative to others who think that they cannot click well with their better half. Nice work 🙂
The question is, which dog is the better half?
I just it really depends on which dog you more closely relate to? Though in your case, you can relate to both very well 🙂 Thanks for giving my story and chance and liking it. I appreciate that a lot!
Reblogged this on rahul01031993's Blog.
Thank you!
Very well written and directed. The context between 2 humans, 2 insects and the 2 beauties is beautiful.
Thank you!
I love the idea of complement we don’t have to be the same to be good together.
Butterfly and Cricket are the cutest 🙂
Thank you! Cricket is grumbling now, because she thinks she is at least a little bit cuter than her sister.
Reblogged this on karrymi.
Thank you!
Aw this is so adorable with such a good message behind it 🙂 It’s so true though! The dogs we choose always resemble us in many ways even if we don’t intend it!
Good article and super cute dogs 🙂 keep up the good work!
Thank you so much!
Reblogged this on adgil2011.
Thank you!
There has to be some room left over in a couple for the rest of the world to filter in – not like a great flood whooshing through the relationship and wiping everything out, but room for more people, more ideas, more emotions—–
Reblogged this on افضل شركات الشحن فى مصر.
Reblogged this on lifehomeandaway and commented:
lovely thoughts, apt description of how relationships should be.
Thank you so much!
Well written! Beautiful post.
❤
Emory
helloscarlettblog.com
Thank you!
Beautifully written post 🙂 I’d love it if you read my blog too… http://www.hoplesslyromanticcinderella.worpress.com
Thank you! I’m on my way over.
Yay!!! Look forward to seeing you on my side of the world.
Hope you enjoy it 🙂 LOVE Cinders x o x o
We love this too! It’s the universe bringing people (and animals) together 🙂
Reblogged this on The Eclectic Chick.
Thank you so much!
Most welcome! Beautiful post, and it reminds me of some principles that I had heard before – – one is that God never lets us find complete happiness and contentment in other things and people, because then we would be content to rest where we are, rather than continuing our journey towards him. The other, which kind of relates to that as well, is that it’s a mistake to expect our spouse to be everything to and for us; we have other people in our lives as well – – friends, siblings, coworkers, parents, etc – – and they each fulfill different needs. The only One who fulfills all your needs is God, and He does that through the various people and situations He places in our lives…but He doesn’t just gift-wrap things and present them all in one neat, convenient package! (-:
Absolutely too cute! Over the years have inherited six fur babies and love them all. http://lilypupslife.wordpress.com/
Now if only I could have six doggies at the dame time!
I LOVE THE DOG!!!!!
Me too!
Pingback: Yin and Yang, or, How We Resonate | gbgerafin8
Reblogged this on gbgerafin8.
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Beautiful dog! http://www.progress4u.wordpress.com
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Reblogged this on blueskysredeyes.
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Well thank you, I think that was and incredible well worded post, and very easy to relate to. Amazing work!
I LOVE this! Congrats on your Freshly Pressed!
Please check out
mylifeasmaeganhagan.wordpress.com
Thank you! I’m on my way over for a visit!
Awesome post, I love your perspective on ying and yang and on how it relates to friendships
Thank you!
Great piece:reminds me of Zush and Kasia’s interaction. Sisters. Go figure 😀
They like to keep it interesting!
Hi guys go check out my blog that be great thank you
Reblogged this on Queen-V and commented:
cute >.<
having a partner is like having a car
you have to feed it
to repair it
to clean it
to replace the oil
and to ride it
then you buy a new one
half joking
Uh oh!
Very cute pics….
I love dogs 🙂
Visit my site pls.
https://pensiveindian.wordpress.com/
Thank you!
This is very sweet post but personally I don’t believe in the whole completing each other notion because it suggests otherwise we lack something. I think we are all whole as a person and as we form a relationship, we bring our best to the table and share it with each other.
Side note, the dogs are so cute! 🙂
All the best,
Ellen
These little cuties. It’s amazing how strong are dogs’ personalities!
Yes! Especial at 5AM when I really want to sleep!
Hiihhhi…cute.
Thank you!
Great post😊
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awosome.follow us on:https://wordpress.com/settings/general/masterofaccounting.wordpress.com
que lindo perrito *.*
awwww so cute!!!
Thank you!
you’re welcome
And because we are used to only some traits defining a relationship, we forget the potency of just complementing someone else.
That makes it hard to explain some friendships, as they may seem inappropriate.
But given a microscope, you may watch how people share the same thoughts on many topics. They also have no problem in agree to disagree.
Fundamental magic of some relationships lie in just one person being on the same wavelength as another.
Beautifully written. I like the way you think.
Thank you!
Wow! I loved this:))
Thank you!
Great
Please read my article
https://peterparos.wordpress.com/2015/01/28/how-and-when-to-see-the-opportunity-by-peter-paros-surbakti/
Great post! I love the picture of “protector from evil sticks!” Wonderful pictures and beautifully written.
Thank you so much!
http://t.co/PqJvcHnSTG <—pls check this out
mantap
Reblogged this on monkey1968.
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Lovely post!
Thank you!
It’s a complete coincidence that my dogs are quite opposite…Bilbo is fairly introverted and shy whereas Lady is super friendly, extroverted and wags her tail so much that it could power a generator.
I really loved this post!
Thank you!