I love sugar. Well, not straight sugar. I was never a big fan of Pixie Stix, or rock candy, or sugar cubes. But I love chocolate frosting and Nutella and Twizzlers and marzipan. I like candy in every color and shape and size. When I first watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, I was pretty sure it was a vision of heaven. I don’t like bitter or sour very much, savory is good, salty is okay, but sweet is my thing. Sushi was a wonderful discovery, because it looked and tasted like candy but had actual food value.
One winter, Mom and I took a series of cake decorating classes. They were inexpensive, and once a week, at the local Michael’s craft store, and once we finished level one, we went on for levels two and three, and would have done level four if it had been offered. I loved making cakes, and frosting, and doing crumb coats, and lattice work. I learned how to make royal icing flowers, and animal characters out of fondant and marzipan, and experimented with Nutella cream cheese frosting. I made chess pieces and roses out of molded chocolate, and white chocolate molded flour pots with chocolate frosted dirt. I tried to make petit fours and failed miserably.
Chocolate music on a flourless chocolate cake.
Marzipan fruit is just as good for you as real fruit, right?
Chocolate dirt, enough said.
The trouble with petit fours is, even after you find the right recipe for the cake, so that it’s moist but not delicate, you need a sure hand for the cutting and placing of layers, and then you need to be willing to waste a lot of icing by pouring it over the cakes on a wire rack so that the excess pools underneath. This is where Cricket came in, waiting for the overflow to overflow.
“You can start pouring, Mommy.”
Cricket was an only dog during the cake decorating winter, and she made full use of her prominent place next to the table, standing by the edge as the icing dripped onto her head, or jumping as high as she could to reach the counter to inspect whatever was going on up there. She cried and scratched at Grandma’s leg to get access to the mixer as it rumbled and tumbled and created glossy white frosting. She’s not especially dexterous with her paws, so she couldn’t participate in molding marzipan figurines, but she loved to help with clean up whenever something fell on the floor. We all had a great time that winter.
Cricket, after icing removal.
But, my father developed adult onset diabetes by the time he was the same age as I am now. In fact, his brother and father also developed diabetes, and then diabetic neuropathy and strokes, and a whole host of other problems, so it is definitely in my genes. I focus on moderation, and go to doctors regularly, and eat my vegetables, and take the medications I’m required to take. I use a lot of vegetables in my cooking, because I like my food to be colorful: red and yellow and orange peppers, tomatoes in all shapes and sizes, red onions, and French green beans, and perfect heads of broccoli cut into individual trees. But I worry.
I am always being told to cut sugar out of my diet completely, that it will solve all of my health, mood, intellectual, spiritual and whatever other problems I may have, immediately, and I will have the energy of a cheetah.
This, of course, is never true. I try it, I suffer, I keep trying, and then I stop. And whether I’ve tried the diet for two weeks or two months or two years, someone is always certain that if I just tried a little bit longer it would all work out and I would be perfect. I’ve tried sugar free, and dairy free, gluten free, and wheat free, and it’s all terrible and squeezes my brain until there is not even one drop of serotonin left and life is not worth living. Mom tells me that too much sugar makes her feel sick and tired, but I’ve never felt that way myself. I might refuse to notice such a thing.
My father went on a high protein diet, eventually, to try and manage his diabetes and ate mostly chicken and spinach. This would not work for me at all, but it would be Butterfly’s ideal, without the spinach. Butterfly, my ten year old Lhasa Apso, has diabetes too, but her diabetes is more like type one, or juvenile onset diabetes in humans, and is controlled by twice daily insulin shots. She also has a special diabetic-friendly kibble and eats a lot of chicken, though not as much as she’d like.
“Yummies?!”
She doesn’t look or act sick, unless her sugar gets very low, and then she gets maple syrup on her gums and she bounces back. It’s a relief to know what’s wrong with her and how to fix it. For Butterfly, sugar is directly related to how she feels every day; no matter how much she craves things like pizza crusts and pancakes and bread, which were among her favorite things in the world before her diagnosis last year, she’s better off, and happier, without them.
The same isn’t true for me. There is no diet that will fix what’s wrong with me, at least that I know of. And while, theoretically, I’d be healthier overall without sugar, I would not be happier, or even happy at all, with a diet like that. I tend to think, and I know this is not the prevailing view, that a little bit more sugar in our diets might help us like each other a little bit more. Maybe I should try to make those petit fours again, and pass them out to my neighbors. I just have to make sure that the icing doesn’t drip to Butterfly’s level. She’d be licking the floor for days.
Cricket, licking the bowl.
Butterfly, staying on her diet.
rachelmankowitz 
The art of life is balance, isn’t it? I think that sometimes the stress of a diet can be worse for your body than moderate amounts of what you are trying to avoid. Your cakes and your story are beautiful.
Thank you!
I hear you loud and clear. I am the daughter of a Juvenile Diabetic, my mom died when I was 24 and she was 63. And I love chocolate, the richer the better. But I have fear of death and fear of fat (I gain weight remarkably easily and lose it woefully slowly). It’s taken me a long time to figure this all out but what works for me is NOT deprivation. My body works best with balance. I eat sweets, not daily but regularly. I eat small portions of those and only over indulge if it’s something I really love, or more if it’s a special occasion. I drink a ton of water if I overindulge (and who doesn’t do that sometimes?) and the biggest thing, I run. I run anywhere from 3-5 miles several days/week, more if I’m outside, less if I have to go to the gym. (which I’m not going to say I hate it but I don’t love it) Between the running, the water (a full glass first thing in the morning, before lunch and dinner) and the fact that for most meals I make a real effort to eat more whole food and less processed, more plants than animals and a lot of salads (which I actually do love) and last but probably not least I take fiber supplements to mitigate carbs. All of this doesn’t mean I never attempt dieting, hell, I’m trying to lose five pounds as I’m writing this, but it means finding a solution for myself and sticking to it helps. Plus I try not to beat myself up on the days I throw all of these healthy practices out the window. I wish you luck in doing the same.
Sounds like a great plan!
Cake looks delicious 😻
http://Www.yk-stylist.co.uk
Thank you!
Honestly, I think that sugar in moderation is far better than feeling deprived of something you love. I have a hard enough time cutting dairy and non-fermented soy from my diet even though I do feel better without them. Sometimes I just have to eat real cheese! Besides you enjoy decorating cakes, so why shouldn’t you get to use that talent sometimes?
The best commercial ever made: a little girl comes downstairs on Christmas morning to a house full of gifts. Parent asks, what kind of cookies did you leave for Santa? Girl says, I didn’t give him cookies, I gave him cheese!
Our peeps gave up sugar and it’s working. He’s lost 20 pounds (and could stand to lose another 20).
But is he screaming more? Because I would be screaming at Cricket much more often without sugar.
Actually, not. He’s not screaming but I won’t stop squawking. If you replace the sugar with healthy fats, you’re not constantly hungry. He cooks a lot of Asian food in a wok, mostly with coconut oil and a little sesame oil for flavor.
Coconut oil is lovely, and avocados, and stir fries, and then a little piece of cake with buttercream frosting …
It was hard for Mom to go vegetarian (lacto-ovo vegetarian; she still eats some cheeses and eggs) but she feels happy about her decision. You have to be happy with your decisions, maybe a little sugar wouldn’t hurt. And Nutella is Mom’s fave!
You could slather Nutella on almost anything and make it taste good. Probably even tofu, though I’m not ready to try that.
(looks up, excited) Dad makes Mom a black pepper tofu. It has ginger and jalapenos and black pepper and tons of flavor, and the house smells like a Chinese restaurant when he makes it. Mom says she can’t have Nutella in the house anymore as she ate the entire jar last time. (dogsmile) Woof!
At Costco they have these economy sized jars of Nutella, in a double pack!
I so totally relate to everything you said about sugar. Do the girls love chocolate? Jack adores chocolate, I don’t give him any, but he has raided our chocolate stash a few times and remarkably escaped unscathed, no tummy ache or diarhea, he is amazing.
When the chocolate chips scatter on the floor, Cricket goes running! But I’m pretty fast in an emergency. We both get down on the floor and do the chocolate chip search. She’s never found enough to get sick, Thank God!
Thank goodness for your fast reflexes! Jack would be like a mini Hoover vacuum, he is coo-coo for Cocoa puffs for chocolate lol
I went vegan about a year and a half ago, after being ovo-lacto-pesco for a couple of decades. It has helped me lose a lot of weight, but alas, not enough. Due to Type 2 diabetes, I went sugar-free for a lot of years, but it’s tough doing that and being vegan at the same time. Also, I love chocolate entirely too much, although I stick to the very dark vegan chocolate. it is quite bitter, but hey, it’s chocolate.
In my pre-vegan days, I, too, loved sushi, despite the many stories of people becoming deathly ill from it. Sushi, like many types of seafood and meat, is so disembodied from the source, that it’s easy to enjoy the delicious flavors while putting out of your mind the fact that you are eating the raw flesh of the dead carcass of a living creature. These days, I choose not to close my eyes to what I’m really doing, despite the preferences of the commercial food industry. Now if I could only give up that darned chocolate. One thing at a time, I guess. I’ll get there.
You know, they make some very nice maki rolls without fish, and with avocado!
Wow you have done a lot of fun stuff. Your cake decorating looked very nice. As for sugar everything in moderation and if that is what makes you happy than some sugar is good therapy. So now for my cake order – One ricotta cake decorated with a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and an inscription “Happy Birthday Lucky”.
Looking up recipes now!
i understand: i can’t live without sugar
We have one bakery in town that is famous for their petit fours. I had no idea how difficult they were to make. The pictures of Cricket pre-and post-frosting are a riot!
I’ve been looking for a local bakery that makes petit fours, and they keep giving me strange looks. I end up having to order them online!
That must be a specialty because we have several bakeries (that mostly specialize in cupcakes, which I am so over) but only one that does petit fours. Who knew they were a specialty?
I am a big chocolate fan but try to have a bit of balance
Reblogged this on Bobbi's Blog.
Thank you!
Substitute beer for sweets and I can relate.
So informative and relatable. I’ve always been the one with the incredible “sweet tooth” and balance my diet with reason and happiness. The pups are adorable!
Thank you!
What a dilemma! I’m not diabetic, but i do feel better if i back off the sugar, so why do i crave it!? very frustrating. gotta manage that serotonin for sure – hmm chocolate vs lorazepam? here’s an interesting link: http://refineryfitnesspdx.com/sugar-and-serotonin/
Unfortunately, I feel better when I DON’T avoid sugar. Oy.
Your fur babies are the cutest little things.
Thank you!
Maybe I’m fortunate to prefer savoury and sour
Very fortunate, yes!
momwithoutpaws would be licking the floor for days. woof
Ha!!!!!!
Your cakes are beautiful, what fun to be able to decorate so wonderfully!
Thank you!
Those cakes are your creations! Wonderful talent… I have tried to drastically reduce sugar. Not possible, sugar-free apples, oranges??
Thank you! I’m sure someone has tried to come up with a treatment to take the sugar out of an apple, and suffered tremendously from trying to eat the results.
Wonderful post Rachel, the number of comments shows it’s a problem for many. I’ve been lucky, I can take sweets and chocolate or leave them. If I had to go on a bland diet, however, I’d be a candidate for a “rest home”. I have a friend who developed mild type II diabetes and was sabotaging herself trying to go sugar free then giving in to commercial candy bars and pastries. I took her to the local Korean bakery where, because they use much less sugar and more butter and flavors, she was able to treat herself without going “off the rails”. We did an experiment using her testing kit to validate it. So now she gos once a week for coffee and a treat as a reward for sticking to the plan and it’s a fun special occasion, which we all need, too.
What a great idea! I have a friend who likes to go out to afternoon tea as a special event, and not have the snacks in her actual house. A house without snacks would kind of feel like a house without oxygen to me, though.
I came back from my annual checkup with the caution that my blood sugar is ‘borderline,’ so I’ve been researching diets, and everything you wrote here echoes, Rachel! As a confirmed chocoholic, I am intrigued to read that white bread is a bigger culprit than a nice square of dark chocolate, but, oh,– it’s time to wrangle my diet into balance. More of those colorful veggies, less of those lovely cakes… Sigh…
I’m thinking zucchini muffins, beet chocolate cake, and marzipan in the shape of heads of broccoli should be enough, right?
I think that sounds like the perfect plan!
In spite of the fact that it is white, sourdough bread makes less of a spike in the glycemic index than whole grain bread.
Sourdough bread is yummy! Yay!
Thanks…that’s really good to know!
I always look forward to your stories of Cricket and Butterfly! Thank you!
Thank you!
Well, I hardly know what to say to this one. I’m afraid I am addicted to sugar and probably would have diabetes if I didn’t have to take so much medicine for all the other maladies. Unfortuntately, I take more than a spoonful of sugar to make the medicine go down. You can’t expect to be perfect.
I remember taking antibiotics as a kid, when they understood that medicine should taste like a milkshake and come in different flavors. Shouldn’t all medicine be like that?
Reblogged this on DrWeb's Domain.
Thank you!
I sympathise with you re diets. I was told I’d be a new woman if I cut certain things out – unfortunately it was all the things I like. Tried it for 8 months and nearly lost the will to live, nor did I feel any better. Cutting out wheat has helped, but I’m back on coffee with creamer and sugar – it’s either that or Prozac and I reckon my yummy coffee is the lesser of two evils.
Yummy is always the better choice.
Absolutely! Coffee with creamer and sugar tastes a whole lot better than Prozac 😀
Your dogs are so adorable I want to reach through cyber space and give them a hug. I’m not a big sugar fan but if I do want something sweet I want chocolate. Not just any chocolate, good chocolate. ❤
Thank you! I love chocolate, but, at different times, I like all the different grades of chocolate. They each have their charms.
I have never been much of a sweet eater but once in awhile when I crave something sweet I want chocolate or caramel. I am allergic to chocolate so for several years now I have not been able to have it so I very rarely eat sweets. My hubby and his family eat more sweets than anything else.They seem to not be able to function with out surgery foods. Only two out of nine of his immediate family have/had sugar health issues. Sweet Cricket and sweet Butterfly always make me smile…I giggled when I read about Cricket and the icing dripping on her head. Big hugs for you sweet Rachel and give those sweeties nose kisses for me.
When i first saw the pink icing hitting the top of Cricket’s head, I had a bad moment. She was pretty small back then. She was shocked by the first drip and then her little tongue came out and she tried to climb up on a chair to get closer to the source.
lol So cute!
Everything in moderation. Its our mantra. If I remove all of the things I enjoy (red wine, carbs, caffeine, and sugar) then I’m not happy. If I’m not happy, what’s the point? I loved the marzipan fruit and all of your cakes, btw! And the World Championships are coming up in Shanghai…. 🙂
Does watching skating on TV burn any calories? Please say yes!
Only if you choreograph along with the skaters!!! (Or get all hyped up when they miss a jump or come out of nowhere to take the whole thing!)
I actually used to do a lot of pretend choreographing while I watched skating on TV, and then there are the times I try to copy what the skaters are doing (don’t worry, no double or triple jumps in the living room). But the big calorie burner is yelling at the TV when the scores come out.
Fantastic blog post!!
From your artistry, lovely dog’s (children ) to diabetes, this is a total home run post! 🙂 🙂
I adore your blog the more I read it. You are a very bright shining star here at the Press. 🙂
(If not for your wonderful ice skating post, I’d not be still dreaming “how wonderful it would be to have my 2 little munchkins all dolled and sequined up on ice skates.”
Have a lovely day!!
Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Great writing, as always, Rachel! Have a great week ahead! From another sugar lover… 🙂
Thank you!
Love the cake with the fruit on it. How on earth did you do that? Looks amazing. I couldn’t give up sugar, chocolate or coffee. I self-medicate with those. It’s either that or pharmaceuticals. I opt for the chocolate and coffee, in moderation of course. The last time I had really good petit fours was on a ship, sailing to America – that was in the 60s and I still remember them (especially the one with the orange frosting). Yummy!!!!!
Orange flavor, or orange color? The marzipan fruit is so much fun to make, unfortunately I don’t know how to add flavor into it, so all the different fruits just taste like marzipan.
Orange flavor frosting – quite scrumptious. What are your thoughts on fondant?
Fondant is tricky. It is a very stable decorating substance, but it doesn’t taste like anything. If there’s enough Buttercream under the fondant, though, it’s all good. I’m pretty sure rice cakes would taste good with enough frosting, though I’m unwilling to test the theory.
Great story about life with and without sugar! I love the picture of Cricket after icing removal duty 🙂
Thank you! Cricket was not happy about that whole process. She was planning to spend the evening trying to lick the top of her head.
I love your posts. This one is no exception. The marzipan fruit on the cake is beautiful! The dogs? Precious as usual.
Thank you!
I agree on sweets… and your doggies are two of the luckiest in the world… to be with YOU!
Thank you so much!
Mum hates to bake (she says she can’t and everything flops) – Cricket and Butterfly are so lucky!
Cricket believes that every time her Grandma makes pancakes they are for the puppy dogs. Especially when there’s maple syrup on top.
Another lovely blog! I’ve considering going sugar free for all those mind/body/spirit benefits you mentioned, but I just can’t do it. As a matter of fact, seeing that photo of Cricket anxiously awaiting the frosting made me wonder if your fur baby wasn’t my long long sister. 😀
One of the best things about dogs is that they don’t hide their enthusiasm!
I would not be happy if I had to go without sugar, it’s in so many lovely things. But in moderation, it isn’t a problem, at last for me. I don’t think that Chicki has a sweet tooth. She likes a piece of sausage or beef as a treat.
Lovely post. I tweeted it.
Thank you! Both of my girls like sweets, but Cricket also thinks lettuce and grapefruits are wonderful. Strange girl.
I so enjoyed this post. Yesterday I was on a sugar crave in ways you can’t imagine….my husband wondered who I was because I seldom get that urge. It was so crazy, but I think it made me enjoy your blog post twice as much. Today I am hopefully back on track. You are so right about moderation. It can be hard but it is the key.
I find that when I try to stop eating sweets I start seeing visions of candy stores in my head, you know, those fountains of jelly beans and five foot long Twizzlers?
I don’t think I could be happy without sugar – it is an amazing food that makes me so happy (and Choppy would be sad as well – she loves sugar, too!).
I winder if we could candy Cricket’s chicken treats and lift her mood? Though Butterfly would develop incredible athleticism to grab those treats out of Cricket’s mouth.
If you come up with a way to do that, let me know – Choppy would be first in line for that sort of treat!
That marzipan fruit looks delicious!
Thank you!
Just applause. Cricket is one lucky dog!
Thank you!
There’s a book called diet recovery that you’d love (and is free on kindle)- it explains why we get sugar cravings for physical and psychological reasons, and it’s not because it’s addictive! It explains a cool experiment that show restrictive dieters are the ones more likely to binge, and banning foods only makes it worse! I work in the fitness industry and hate elimination and ‘clean eating’ crap- stick with the no guilt approach and enjoy some moderation!
That sounds great! Thank you so much!
hello rachel mankowitz its dennis the vizsla dog hay marzipan!!! that is almond payst rite??? almond beeing a nut is praktikly a froot!!! so kleerly marzipan froot is eksaktly the saym as regyoolar froot!!! qed!!! ok bye
I’m so glad! Next up, marzipan smoothies, marzipan salad, candied marzipan!
Well said, Rachel and I commiserate. It’s a fun piece but seriously, don’t people love to tell you how to heal yourself? Love your doggie asides.
Thank you! I’ve found that, when we find things that work for us, we want to share them with other people. But just because it works for one person doesn’t mean it will work, unadapted, for everyone.
Ahh, I’ve missed your pictures of the girls!
Where’s Bailey?!
Running around like a maniac! If you go to any of my blog posts, you’ll see my Instagram feed on the bottom left–there are many pics of him there! Please give the girls big bear hugs for me! 😀
I’m with you. I have chronic pain and have been told that eliminating sugar would be the magic cure-all. So I tried a Daniel Fast with no sugar and at the end of 10 days, I not only gained weight, but was quite the irritable woman. I did not feel better at all. When I’ve tried to trade Coke for Diet Coke or cut out sweets, I wind up only feeling worse. And then on TV they say a square of dark chocolate is good for you. A square? Forget that. A square does not suffice. I realize diabetes is awful. My grandfather had it. But sugar was often on his mind, and I saw him sneaking treats just to make life bearable.
“A square does not suffice” – I totally agree. Some people can cut out sugar safely, because of their particular neurochemistry, but I am not one of them.
Totally with you on this! Happiness is PART OF healthiness!
I love hearing about Cricket catching the frosting drippings! She’s so cute!! And I’m in awe that you find sushi tastes like candy. What??? 🙂
Sushi rice is so yummy and sweet, any thing you eat with it gets candied. Just ask Cricket!!!!