Shiny Poop

 

Recently, Mom has had a lot to deal with. Her sister hasn’t been well, and there’s been a lot of doubt and worry and conflict and hospital visits and family discussions, which means we have needed to resort to the heavy weaponry of comfort: chicken wings.

For some reason, chicken wings are my mother’s perfect comfort food. I’m not talking about fried chicken, or, God forbid, Buffalo chicken wings. These are tossed with some salt and pepper and chili powder and baked in the oven. It’s a plan ahead meal, because the wings need to be defrosted, and then baked for more than an hour, and then cooled so they won’t burn off your fingers. But it’s also a family meal, because the dogs think I’ve made it just for them.

I’ll make a salad or something to go with it, but that’s really beside the point.

As an antidepressant, nothing beats chicken wings and watching the dogs hop up and down, and salivate, and smile, and run in circles waiting for their share. While the chicken wings are cooking in the oven, the dogs gradually become twitchier and glassy eyed, until they are drawn to the stove like magnets, staring at it from the kitchen doorway. I tend to share a lot of my chicken, because I don’t like the skin, and they love it. But when the chicken is all gone, they don’t really believe it. They will dig into the corners of every room looking for left overs, and then get angry and start barking in disbelief. Butterfly, especially, looks high, and crazed, after she’s eaten her chicken. She’s jonesing for more, and out of her mind. I don’t understand why I’ve never seen a warning sticker on a package of chicken wings – “Danger, Addictive Substance, Keep away from young children and dogs!”

“I need chicken!”

“Chicken?!”

I myself do not have that reaction to chicken. In fact, lately, I’ve started to wonder if I’m allergic to the stuff. I’ve noticed feeling nauseous a few times and not being able to finish eating, both with chicken and with eggs. Chicken is supposed to be the universal meat – the one that everything else tastes like (squirrel, frog, whatever else people are trying to get you to eat), but it’s not really my thing.

The problem with baking the chicken wings is the mess they make. I go to a lot of trouble to cover the whole baking pan with aluminum foil, and cover the aluminum foil with parchment paper. The idea is to wait until the pan cools and then fold the aluminum foil up and put the whole mess into the garbage can so we only need to rinse the baking pan for its trouble. But no. Mom does not believe in this. She believes that the dogs should have the benefit of every drop of fat that drips onto the pan, and insists on putting the pan, paper and foil and all, onto the floor for their delectation.

One Friday night, I made emergency chicken wings before Friday night services and didn’t have time to organize the clean up before we left. Without my knowledge, Mom had put the pan on the floor and left it with the dogs while we were out, for two hours. By the time we got home, the kitchen was a storm of tiny bits of aluminum foil and large swathes of parchment paper, and Butterfly’s face was dark with oil. Cricket was standing far away from it all, to make it clear that this was not her fault. I should have taken a picture, but at the time I was too shocked, and too busy corralling the dogs outside, and telling Mom that she would be the one to clean it all up.

Bath time after chicken.

Bath time after chicken.

“But I wanted to smell like chicken forever, Mommy.”

I worried, for days, that there would be shiny poop, and when there wasn’t, I started to worry that Butterfly’s internal organs were filled with aluminum foil decorations. A few weeks have passed now though, and Butterfly is still running and hopping and pooping as usual, so, fingers crossed, there’s no shiny poop waiting around in there.

“I could eat some more chicken.”

About rachelmankowitz

I am a fiction writer, a writing coach, and an obsessive chronicler of my dogs' lives.

105 responses »

  1. Little dogs can make big messes. I had three at one time. I enjoyed reading your post!

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  2. You poor thing, I know of what you write. The dreaded shiny poop.

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  3. Funny, we just had chicken wngs here last night too…though being from Buffalo that’s the way I go. I never had wings until living in Phoenix, where there was a restaurant called the Natuve New Yorker that sold wings at 10 cents apiece (as long as you didn’t take any out). I make sure all the spicy sauce is removed before giving some of the meat to Sophie, who loves it too. I will have to try your recipe…how much chili powder?

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  4. I would be more concerned with pancreatitis from all that grease.
    That said, one time Max ate one of the shiny wrappers from a cupcake, and I waited for days for foil wrapped poop. 🙂

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  5. Be aware that cooked chicken bones are very brittle and not recommended for dogs due to their tendency to splinter. Please keep the bones out of reach.

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  6. Coop doesn’t like the skin, he likes the meat! Cute post!

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  7. Jernee is like this with turkey bacon. She really could care less about chicken. Lol. I could see this happening as I read it. Thankfully, there’s been no issues with their bowels so far!

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  8. What an enjoyable read. I kept waiting to see what the shiny poop was all about. lol Glad to hear that all is well and you all enjoyed your chicken wings. They are my favorite part of the chicken. Have never tried them like you fix them…may just do that. Hugs and nose kisses

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  9. Glad this ended well! And I hope the health issues do, too…

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  10. Love the bath photos! My Max grabbed a boneless turkey breast off the counter- pan and all- fat and all what a skating rink of grease my floor became and he just loved it. Yuch! He survived the grease !

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  11. I had to chuckle about this post, Rachel. Many years ago, I was cleaning up the back yard from where Daisy, my dog, had gone and I became a bit alarmed about her shiny poop. She had eaten some tinsel from the Christmas tree….and passed some shiny little presents. I love how Cricket took no ownership of the mishap with the chicken. She is so cute!

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  12. LOL!!!!

    Hoping your mom’s spirit has lifted completely or at least for the time she was eating her chicken wings. . . You rock as a daughter. . .making your mom (and your dogs) food that you don’t like. . . sweet!

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  13. I can soo relate to this!
    Back when I had doggies at home, we used to prepare special food for them, you know the kind with all the stuff that’s good for them.
    The minute we take the utensils to start cooking, the dogs would align themselves into a military format line and wait till the thing is cooked. Then hell breaks loose till they are served!
    Dogs ❤

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  14. I feel your pain. I ‘dogsat’ my daughter’s foster dogs for the weekend and they helped themselves to a 12-kilo bag of bakers flour. What a mess!

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  15. carolynswriting

    Oooh dear! At least there’s been no messy results! Rachel, you got in just before me – I’m blogging on a similar issue today 😉 Loved yours, & hope your mum feels much better too 🙂

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  16. Have you thought of giving them a chicken wing hunt by hiding some around the house? 🙂

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  17. Love the post, pictures and captions! Glad no ‘pre wrapped’ after effects!

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  18. I can’t eat chicken, either. The dogs love it, though – definitely addictive. I think it has some magical property for dogs. I once had a dog who had a stroke – she was very ill for over a week and the vet had all but given up on her – but when I cooked her some chicken she found the will to live and made a miraculous recovery.
    I love the pics of Butterfly after her chicken rave! 😀

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  19. Oh, I was waiting for the shiny poop to appear. Oh well, a no-show is bound to be better for the dogs. 🙂

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  20. OMG! This cracked me up! I can just picture it all. Too funny and glad there was no shiny poop!

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  21. chicken wings as anti-depressiva ? must try that… do you really have to have depressions in order for this to be enjoyed..? poor dogs had to eat all that chicken… 😊

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  22. Hilarious! I am not a big chicken fan either, unless it is heavily smothered in something that makes it taste not like chicken……

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  23. …oh my….I’ve had my experiences with “nutty” poop after raiding the spice cabinet. So I feel your pain. And I hope things get better healthwise for the family. Woof!

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  24. Sounds like mom is in the dog house 🙂

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  25. So funny!! Loved this post! 🙂 My dogs have pooped a few ear plugs in their day. Glad your dogs seem to be ok after all of that!

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  26. This was hilarious!! A wonderful laugh for me this afternoon!! Thanks for the entertainment…Butterfly and Cricket would love to eat at Casa de Canterbury, too. TBO Chelsea is a food slut, too…:) They could “jonesy” around together. New word for me.

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  27. Oh we’ve been there. Sparkly poop, shiney poop, glittery poop – I used to have a golden that had wicked separation anxiety and would get into things before I convinced hubby to crate train her when we weren’t home. 🙂

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  28. Chicken Wings – haven’t made them in ages. Must dig out the recipe I had and make them some night. He scoffed my chicken when we stopped for a break on the way home so it should be ok.

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  29. By “He” I meant the dog – Benji. :o)

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  30. Our Chicki isn’t all that pleased about having chicken. I guess she’s had it so often that it’s lost its appeal.She likes a piece of steak, better. I do, too, for that matter.

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  31. Glad both Butterfly and Cricket are OK and probably didn’t swallow any aluminium foil.

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  32. Too funny. Glad all of the internal organs are ok!

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  33. As someone with a golden who eats EVERYTHING, shiny poop is a fabulous story. Glad it turned out okay for your little ones. (Oh, and that glassy-eyed crazed chicken look is perfect!)

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  34. All kinds of pooh – an everyday part of life. We’ll look out for shiny! Pip

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  35. My two dogs Spot and Link get absolutely bug crazy eyes and hover when chicken happens at our house. Must be a dog thing? Glad everybody is ok at your house!

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  36. At my house it doesn’t have to be ‘chicken’…F.O.O.D. is enough. Any kind of food…even stuff she won’t touch (like lettuce or most kinds of fruit)…she still has to come and make sure there’s nothing in there for HER specifically. If it’s any kind of meat or cheese or eggs or any PROTEIN, she’s right there, drooling, putting a tiny paw on my leg to remind me that she’s down there waiting impatiently for something to drop, and giving me the big sad “OH I’M STARVING” eyes if I happen to look AT her. I have been dog-sitting a neighbors’ chihuahua (looks like a twin of Hunydog) and I noticed today that he does the same thing as she. I had tacos for lunch and there were two sets of paws, two sets of accusatory eyes, and two tongues hanging out for the meat. It’s a dog thing. And I hope those wings are boneless?

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  37. Lol at least the poop would be easy to spot of a night time!!! Hope your mum is feeling better soon.

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  38. “Heavy weaponry of comfort: chicken wings”: a blue-ribbon line. Great post, Rachel. Peace, John

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  39. Fun post chicken wings is something I don’t eat much of. Oh how dogs adore chicken in any form. Kind regards to your mum hope feeling better soon. x

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  40. At least all that aluminium foil will make Butterfly difficult to detect by enemy radar.

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  41. You have a mom that puts a pan on the floor and I have a bird that throws grapes and dried hot peppers at me and the dogs and I have to keep jumping up to get the grapes before the dogs get them and the bird laughs at me and says Sasha’s a crab.

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  42. You have captured the expression of the dogs brilliantly, Rachel and I flet like I was there when I read your post- it is so well written!

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  43. greyzoned/angelsbark

    I could just picture the scene you came home to! Hahaha! Oh, these dogs will drive you crazy, won’t they? Your dogs must have very strong stomachs: my dogs would be so sick from all that fat. I feed mine chicken but I’m afraid to give them chicken fat or skin.
    The after-the-bath photos are adorable!!!!
    Michele at Angels Bark

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  44. You had me at “Shiny poop.”

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  45. Ollie loves any chicken. We do too, but rarely if ever have wings. I can imagine the worry about the shiny aluminium poo. My friend’s Rhodesian Ridgeback ate a whole box of (36) chicken legs in the summer (uncooked, put aside ready for a barbecue) and later pooed out all the plastic packaging! (The cardboard must have digested…)
    Best wishes, Pete.

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  46. Great story! Just went through the same thing with our dog, Thor, who somehow got hold of a toothpick wrapped in a napkin. The toothpick was found in a corner of the living room–licked clean of meatball residue.

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  47. Weird Guy With The Dog

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