Out of the blue, one evening, Mom got an email about a pop-up vaccine site taking people over 65, and she called and got an appointment for the next morning. And then, after she’d gotten the vaccine and scheduled her second shot, she felt so guilty that she’d gone without me, and that so many of the sites on Long Island were reserved for older people and not for essential workers or teachers, that she started obsessively watching for new sites, and nagging me to do the same. I didn’t enjoy having to jump onto the computer each time she saw a hint of a possibility of an appointment for me, especially because they all turned out to be nothing. But then, three weeks later, an email arrived saying that there was a site taking people over 60 and teachers, from our town. She emailed back and got me an appointment for that evening.
The only problem was that I was still at synagogue school, where I was so overwhelmed with the laptop and iPad (to teach the remote kids), while also corralling the in-person kids, that I didn’t think to check my phone. By the time I got home Mom was standing in the parking lot, waiting for me. She yelled through the window of the car that I had an appointment, and I screamed back, for what?
The Pharmacy was in a small strip mall two towns over, down a badly lit hallway and behind a non-descript door. It was some kind of specialist compound pharmacy, with one pharmacist and two helpers, and I was one of the last appointments of the day. I made sure to tell the pharmacist that I teach synagogue school, in case she wanted to disqualify me on the spot as not a real teacher, but she just nodded and asked where I teach, and then she told me that I was getting the Moderna vaccine, and stuck the needle in my arm. One of her assistants filled out a vaccine card and scheduled my second appointment, and then they sent me on my way.
It took all of five minutes, and I had a hard time processing that I had really gotten the shot, even while holding an ice pack against my right shoulder. Two days later my left shoulder started to hurt, in the same spot as on my right shoulder. I tried to find a reasonable explanation for it, like maybe I’d been sleeping on my left side to protect the right shoulder, though that didn’t explain the pinpoint nature of the pain. But I was still wiped out from synagogue school, or from the vaccine shot, or both, and I couldn’t really think it through.
The next day, which turned out to be the second windiest day of the year, I decided I had plenty of energy to do the food shopping on my own, even though Mom said it was too cold to go out and she and the dogs all gave me funny looks. Instead of wearing my hair in braids or a pony tail, which is what I’ve been doing since my hair got so Covid-long, I left it down, and it rose in a whirlwind around my face until I couldn’t see a damn thing. Then I went into the supermarket and filled my cart with everything on the shopping list, and only realized at the checkout that I didn’t have my pocketbook with me. I asked if they could watch my cart, melting ice cream and all, at the customer service desk, and then ran out to the car, hoping my pocketbook would be sitting on the passenger seat waiting for me. It wasn’t.
I knew I had to drive home and find my pocketbook, but I was afraid someone would see me driving away and think I was a criminal of some kind, racing out of the parking lot. It was only when I’d pulled out into traffic, heart racing, that I thought to check under Mom’s cushion on the passenger seat, and of course my pocketbook was right there. I was relieved and flustered and had a hard time figuring out where to make my U-turn back to the supermarket. I parked in the same exact spot I’d just left and then ran out, forgetting my mask in the car, so I had to race back and find it on the floor, under Mom’s cushion, which I’d managed to toss into the air in my frenzied search for my pocketbook.
I tried to walk back into the supermarket like a sane, rational person and gracefully guide my cart from the customer service desk to the next open checkout lane, but there were no open lanes, except for the self-checkout. I hate self-checkout. I don’t understand how this is supposed to be more convenient when every time I try to buy a fruit or a vegetable someone has to come over and play with the machine to get it to recognize my broccoli. But I paid for all of my groceries and managed to put them in my reusable and refrigerator bags, piled to the top of the cart. As soon as I got outside, of course, the bag on top of the pile fell off the cart, and the receipt flew away in the wind, never to be seen again. By the time I got home I felt like I’d been through all of the Herculean labors, and fell into bed, exhausted.
I’m pretty sure my life isn’t the only one falling into the absurd lately, but I like to tell myself that mine is the most absurd, just so I can feel like I’m winning at something.
The fact is, everything has seemed nonsensical for a long time now, as if we’ve all been suffering from pre-Covid brain fog for years. There was that weird four year period when our president was a white supremacist, and then that year when people refused to wear face masks to protect them from a deadly disease. And then there were those news outlets that only believed in alternative facts. It was weird. Okay, it’s still weird. States are rapidly putting new voting restrictions into place, after what was deemed the most secure election in US history by the Republican in charge of cyber security. And US senators are proclaiming that they didn’t feel threatened by men with bear spray and flag poles attacking the Capitol police and setting up a gallows to hang politicians, but one little black woman knocking on a door in the Georgia Legislature clearly scared the bejeezus out of them.
There are times when I believe that God is everywhere, and that the universe is a web of invisible circuits that bring us all together. And then there’s the rest of the time, when I still believe that God is everywhere, but I’m pretty sure the web of invisible circuits is broken, or at least rotting at significant junctures. Hopefully, once we’ve all been vaccinated we can start to do the work of fixing those connections.
To that end, I thought I’d share some new liturgical music from the musical director/composer/rabbinical student from my synagogue whom I’ve mentioned in the past (I make a short appearance in the choral section of the video.) The title of the song is HaRofei, which means the healer, and it’s based on Psalm 147. The lyrics alone are wonderful, but with the music and all of the voices and instruments he was able to bring together, it’s a stunner. https://youtu.be/fmsMljlUWok
If you haven’t had a chance yet, please check out my Young Adult novel, Yeshiva Girl, on Amazon. And if you feel called to write a review of the book, on Amazon, or anywhere else, I’d be honored.
Yeshiva Girl is about a Jewish teenager on Long Island, named Isabel, though her father calls her Jezebel. Her father has been accused of inappropriate sexual behavior with one of his students, which he denies, but Izzy implicitly believes it’s true. As a result of his problems, her father sends her to a co-ed Orthodox yeshiva for tenth grade, out of the blue, and Izzy and her mother can’t figure out how to prevent it. At Yeshiva, though, Izzy finds that religious people are much more complicated than she had expected. Some, like her father, may use religion as a place to hide, but others search for and find comfort, and community, and even enlightenment. The question is, what will Izzy find?
rachelmankowitz 
“rotting at significant junctures. ”
Yup, but we are all working on helping to fix that, I like to hope, at least, and
Congrats on getting your (first) vaccination!
Chag Sameach, and Shavuah Tov,
-Shira
You have some really terrific turns of phrase in this article–made me laugh in agreement.
HaRofei–it is indeed a stunner! Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you so much!
I know the feeling of bewilderment when you’ve misplaced your wallet or purse or something important. So glad you survived it!
Me too! Thank you!
Oh, Rachel, you have such a way of telling anecdotes and stories of entirely absurd days that it somehow relieves the feeling of OUR days being too absurd to handle. Did that make any sense? You are not alone, though THAT day I’d say you win! I will go back and listen to the recording. Chin up, gf!
Thank you so much!
Such lovely music! Very much enjoyed, very well done! (I finally got my covid-19 vaccination on Thursday morning. The one-shot J&J vaccine, so I won’t have to make another trip out in two or three weeks. Being “elderly”, as I am, I have not had any side effects at all, so far.)
Hope the vaccine will not continue to be a trial…thinking of the second shot. Best wishes!
I was hoping to get the one shot vaccine, but you take what you can get. I’m only dreading the second shot a little bit. Maybe a smidge more than a little bit. The music helps!
I’d guess more of us than not are having scattered days like that, Rachel. It doesn’t have to be this way and yet this is what we’ve got.
If only putting Prozac in the water supply would help!
There seems to be a lot of work to do at all junctures these days Rachel as we battle to convince each other that the pandemic is real or just a hoax. If we all got our information from reliable sources, it would be OK, but there are just too many sources out thee that want to create havoc and too many people willing to believe them. Common sense is not common anymore and we all have a lot of work to do if/when this whole thing ends. Not the least of which is that the pandemic and resulting crisis should never have been politicized. Stay well and hopefully things will settle down to a dull roar again some day. Allan
Wouldn’t that be wonderful?!
The music video is wonderful, Rachel! And I saw you! I just received my second Moderna vaccine on Thursday. Yay for us! And, yes, the world is still weird. I just don’t understand people purposely not wanting to work together You might be onto something with pre-Covid brain fog…
I’m so glad you like the song! I wish you could tell me that the second Moderna shot changes everything. Harrumph.
I can understand just how you feel and I’m not American. But your little dogs faces in the photos say it all really. Good to know you got your vaccine. My husband and I got our this past week in one of our regions big vaccination centers. Very well organized and we had to sit for 15 minutes after the shot. I guess that is in case someone drops over from an allergic reaction. We did not. We both got the Pfizer vaccine. I have to believe that we will survive the Pandemic and life will carry on in some way or another. Chag Sameach (I hope I got that right if not my apologies)
Thank you! I’m so glad you didn’t have an allergic reaction!
Me too!!
Oh Rachel. Thank you for sharing that exquisite song. Tears — deep unto deep.
I’m so glad you liked it!
Your blog dealing with a hard day was troubling and funny in the way you described it. You did a great job. The video was wonderful. I will listen to it many more times.
Thank you so much!
Get mine next thurs, wanted the Johnson and Johnson.. but all they have is the Pfizer. Just happy to get it at this point.
Exactly! Same here.
Yep, we are living life in the absurd these days, but, wow, what an awesome musical performance!! 🌷
I’m so glad you liked it!
Life in the absurd indeed. You describe it so well, Rachel. We can all identify! So glad your mother made sure you got your shot.
Thank you! Me too!
Yes Prozac in the water supply may help at times 😂, its strange how so many of us are feeling a little misplaced at the moment and politicians so confused.
You’re so kind to describe them as confused.
Very enjoyable post, Rachael. And yes, Cricket, humans are weird.
Thank you!
Last time I went to shop, I couldn’t find my mask and drove home to get another one. I made my way back into the same parking spot, only to find that the missing mask had been hiding under a bag on the back seat… I hate the feeling that something’s disappeared…Loved your post, though!
Oy! It’s catching!
Yay to being the most absurdly living! hehe
I always look forward to your posts. I know I’m going to chuckle and I’m also going to get some great significance from your post. This was no exception. I am very much like you when it comes to misplacing something! It drives my anxiety through the roof, usually because what I can’t find is something I need NOW! Congrats on stumbling your way through all of the fiascos of your shopping trip and still being successful! And thank you for sharing the lovely and heart-warming music on YouTube!
Thank you so much!
Congrats on getting your first shot. I got mine last week.
Unfortunately, until the call for humanity is greater than the search for power our world will remain broken. I am not sure what can fix the fear people have of the color of another human being’s skin without even knowing what lies beneath the skin. Still, I pray and believe God’s positive will shall prevail. Blessings to you and your family 🙂
Thank you so much!
Great to know you have had your first injection and scheduled for the second. And you’re right—the world is so weird now.
Very weird!
That was stunningly beautiful! Thank you for sharing.
Sent from my iPad
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Thank you!
I always think of God as a great lover of stories. S/He’s having a heyday with all that’s going on now! S/He’s got to have a great sense of humor to survive. So do we. Thank you for the funny story and, most of all, for the beautiful music video.
I’m so glad you liked both!
Yay! For getting a vaccine.
Thank-you, thank-you for the song and video.
Thank you!
I love the video, Rachel. A line from Psalm 31 that I read on Friday (I am like a dish that is broken) has stayed with me and made me think of healing broken hearts.
That’s beautiful! Thank you!
You are correct in thinking that the ‘things are really weird and out of control’ phenomenon is not yours alone. Friday last week was the worst set of those things that I’ve had in a very long time. I felt very disconnected. Congratulations on your Covid shot, for me at least having had them both I do feel a slight bit less anxious and I hope the same happens for you! Our universal web IS ‘rotting at important junctures’ because apparently we’ve all gone slightly insane and ceased to maintain even a semblance of pretending to care any longer. Take care Rachel. Hope still lives.
Let’s hope so!
Just one of those days. Thanks for the chuckles, lol. And for sharing the video–I thought I’d miss you in the mosaic of wonderful people who took part, but there you were at 3:00!
Thank you!
The music video was absolutely beautiful! Than you for sharing it. And we all have hopes for healing the craziness in our government and culture that we’ve seen for the past 4 years.
I’m so glad you liked it!
wish beautiful Easter or your Passover…which Vaczin did you get?
I got the Moderna vaccine. You?
Dear Rachel, moderna is supposed to be very good, relatives got it recently…our region is still totally undersupplied due to the failure of the EU vaccine supply. Vaccination date not at all in prospect yet, maybe not even until December
Oh no! How can that be?!
it’s real not a joke, some phone up to 10 days for appointments, there’s just no stuff delivered for 1 month, about 5 percent are only double vaccinated…next deliveries probably in 4 weeks, Free doctors don’t start until next week and have endless lists. Only Astrazeneca is widely available, but is avoided, because many deaths have been reported.
I did something similar, two weeks ago. Got into the shop, mask on. Selected a clean trolley then sanitised it again anyway. Shopping list out of the pocket, and the first thing dropped into the trolley. Then I had a ‘vision’. It was a vision of my card-holder metal ‘wallet’ lying on the kitchen worktop. I checked my pocket anyway, even though I knew I had to go home and get it.
The process was repeated 20 minutes later, with the wallet secure in my pocket that time. At least the supermarket is only 4 miles away, and I hadn’t bought all my shopping first. 🙂
(I should get my second dose of vaccine in May.)
Best wishes, Pete.
I totally blame Covid! Clearly, the vaccine will fix everything!
He is so cute.
Wonderful observations, and I am so thankful to you! Beautiful music and video… made me cry, but a good cry 😊🙏❤️.
Thank you!
Congrats on getting your first vaccine! I have days like yours, when I’m anxious and flustered and everything seems to go wrong. Hopefully we can fix the invisible circuits. I think we partially fixed them when we said goodbye to Trump.
It was a great start; necessary, but not sufficient .
Beyond absurd. Life, the universe, and everything. I think the lunatics took over the asylum a long time ago, and they’re not giving it back.
Oy. So your saying we need something stronger than Prozac to put in the water supply?
🤔🤔🤔 👍
That made me laugh, Covid has made shopping even more complicated and I always try and avoid self service. Loved the music, Youtube is such fun as you never know where you are going to end up, usually in lots of different houses!
I’m so glad you liked it!
Wonderful music! It’s nothing like the stuff I normally listen to, but I loved it – gave me goose-bumps all over!
I’m so glad you liked it!
this is gorgeous writing, thank you for doing it!
Thank you!
The world is overflowing with absurd stories right now, but you did a great job making it warm and entertaining 🙂
Thank you!
I always think people are exaggerating when they say that something made the hairs on their head tingle. Then I watched the video and the hairs on my head tingled. One more crack in a life of cynicism. Thank you from my depths.
I’m so glad you liked it!
Absolutely.
Very glad you got the vaccine. Take a deep breath. Let it out. Big hug. We’ll all get through this.
Hugs to you too!
Sounds like a Murphy’s Law day, Rachel. That means you won’t have another one for a long while.
Art
That would be awesome!
So glad you got a vaccine. I did, too. My second one is this week. On your other observations, I suspect God shakes His head in disbelief at the state of the world more than we do. But, He never forgets the end of the story!!
Really enjoyed your post and the way you wrote it. So very humorous even if all of it is based on facts.
Thank you!
You’re welcome!
Congrats on your first vaccination shot. I got mine (Astra-Zeneca) a couple of weeks ago. It really is strange getting the jab, I felt so lucky and so thankful. Beautiful music video, it made me cry!
Thank you! And congratulations to you too!
Music was lovely.
He’s really talented!
It’s been the craziest year of my life, so I know what you mean when you say it’s been absurd. Chin up and I hope you feel refreshed soon.
Thank you!
I love your blog and really enjoying your book – although my age is way past YA 🙂
Thank you so much!
Thank you for making me smile at this Rachel. If that was the second windiest day the first must have been a bit wild! Life is certainly absurd at the moment but hopefully each vaccination shot is a small step towards another normality, whatever that is going to look like. The music is beautiful and certainly is a stunner. You obviously have a very talented team at your synagogue. I wasn’t aware of that psalm, so thank you the words are beautiful.
I’m so glad you liked it!
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I have had both of mine (Moderna). No problem with the first one but the second shot gave me a headache for one week with extreme weakness, Now all is good!
A week?! Oh boy. Congratulations, though.