As expected, I spent the weeks leading up to Mom’s second hip replacement living in existential dread, afraid she would die on the table and I would be left alone in the world with no one to fight off the gardeners trying to cut down my paw paw tree. And then, as everyone around me seemed to know it would be, the surgery was successful and Mom came through with all of her humor and energy intact.
The days leading up to the surgery were full of worry, both because of the pre-surgical clearances coming down to the wire, but also because Mom’s hip was deteriorating incredibly quickly and she was struggling just to get from one room to the other, especially after the ban on NSAIDS was put in place five days before the surgery.
I filled the time preparing: filling the freezer and the pantry with prepared meals; organizing all of the random crap in the apartment that might get in her way when she came home with the walker; carrying boxes of books to the thrift store, and bags and cans of dog food to the animal shelter; and finally replacing the old crooked bookcase with a new, slightly crooked bookcase (put together by moi – which explains why its wonky), so that she wouldn’t be toppled by falling books and sent back to the hospital.
We still have new rugs waiting to be put down, after we removed the un-cleanable rugs from the last months of Cricket and Ellie’s lives, but I’m going to wait on that until Mom’s walking is steadier and she doesn’t need the walker anymore; hopefully the neighbors will be patient with the uncovered floors for a bit longer.
The need to clean has been profound since losing Ellie. When both dogs were still here I didn’t mind a few extra boxes here and there, but in the quiet I keep wanting to clean and find order and make things neat, as if making the apartment more orderly will heal the grief (though it doesn’t really work).
It was so strange to be in the apartment alone. For two days it was just me, no Mom, no dogs, and I don’t know how to describe the stillness in the air. I kept hearing noises and thinking Ellie was coming back down the hallway after a midnight snack, or Mom was getting up in the middle of the night for a midnight snack (Mom and the dogs seemed to have a club I was not invited to). But no one was actually there.
Thank God, the surgery itself went well, and now that Mom’s back home, everything feels like its back to normal, where the noises around the apartment are real instead of phantoms, and even on pain meds and using a walker, she’s more energetic and busy than I am, always texting with someone or planning something. I think the lesson here is that I am a very boring person on my own.
Next up is physical therapy and occupational therapy and nurse’s visits and keeping track of all of the post-op medications and worrying about something else going wrong. But Mom is in a surprisingly good mood so far, and I’m feeling hopeful again.
Oh, and we got a note from the board of our co-op saying that from now on there won’t be a pet fee charged each month for each (or any) pet you own, so when the time comes I can clearly get as many dogs as I can fit into the apartment. Five sounds like a good number to me. It’s possible that Mom will disagree, so, shh, don’t tell her.
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Yeshiva Girl is about a Jewish teenager on Long Island, named Isabel, though her father calls her Jezebel. Her father has been accused of inappropriate sexual behavior with one of his students, which he denies, but Izzy implicitly believes it’s true. As a result of his problems, her father sends her to a co-ed Orthodox yeshiva for tenth grade, out of the blue, and Izzy and her mother can’t figure out how to prevent it. At Yeshiva, though, Izzy finds that religious people are much more complicated than she had expected. Some, like her father, may use religion as a place to hide, but others search for and find comfort, and community, and even enlightenment. The question is, what will Izzy find?
rachelmankowitz 
Rachel, so glad your wonderful mom is home and everything sounds real. Also love your ending news on no future pet fees!
Thank you!
Very good news, Rachel!
Thank you!
So glad to know your mom’s operation was successful, don’t you have plans of getting another pet?
Eventually, definitely.
I’m glad your Mom came home in good shape. It must have been kind of spooky/stressful alone like that. When things go south in my life I have always gotten the urge to clean so I can relate to your experience. I think subconsciously I feel I am clearing negativity. Grief is sadly a part of life but certainly not a good feeling. By the way the bookcase looks fine. I tried putting together a cabinet and 90% done it collapsed, fell apart and broke. I was so disgusted it sat in the living room for days. You did a good job.
Thank you!
Glad you’re mom’s surgery went well, that is always a relief!
Thank you!
For once, a post I can sincerely and genuinely “like”! This is such good news! And the drawers will undoubtedly stabilize the bookcase, which looks very attractive.
Thank you!
blessings to you both🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼
Thank you!
Glad your mom is doing well!!! All good news! ❤️
Thank you!
Congratulations on the successful surgery. I am glad your mom is doing well. I can understand that it is quiet without the dogs.
Thank you!
I imagine 90% of everything that’s good at this point is relief it’s successfully over. I’m so glad all went well.
Thank you!
Such a cute picture of the dog(s?) I think, right now, the worst thing about the surgery is making sure there is lots of room to move, cleaning, putting the clothes in the reachable drawers without having to bend down or reach too far, getting the equipment for afterward- it can be exhausting. My hip surgery is in 17 days, originally it was going to be on the 12th at a surgery center, which was too rushed. Now it is changed until the 30th at a hospital which will be safer. Will be having friends drive me to the hospital, I expect to get out the next day, and have friends drop in to see me daily for two weeks for safety reasons. Your Mom sounds like she is doing great. I wish her a continued and full recovery. The physio and exercises are essential for the best outcome.
It’s good to have people around you!
I’m happy to know the surgery was successful. Also, I’m glad some semblance of normalcy is returning to your home again.
Thank you!
Rachel, I don’t know if you can hear it, but you’re writing has taken a positive turn. It could quite possibly mean, without you realizing it, you’re beginning to heal. I don’t think even a week ago you could joke about a new pup, now you’re in the mood for 5! Slowly, ever so slowly, the healing comes.
I’m really glad your mom is OK and back home. Blessings to you both.
Thank you so much!
Hooray for a successful surgery! Mom is back home…whew! That sounds good to me.
Me too! Thank you!
Thanks for sharing wonderful Mom.but this dog 🐕 was amazing. Anita
Thank you!
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div dir=”ltr”>Gosh, Rachel you are not boring
Ha! Thank you!
So glad your mom is ok. Take heart – grief takes time. Someday, before you know it, you will have another dog and love that one so very much! Blessings!
Thank you!
Thank goodness, everything went so well. Wishing your Mum a speedy recovery.
Thank you!
Glad your Mom’s surgery went well Rachel. Wishing her a speedy recovery. Allan
Thank you!
I’m glad that the surgery went well and that your mom is how and feeling good.
Thank you!
Take care Rachel
Wishing your mom a good “bounce back.”
Thank you!
Happy to hear your mom’s surgery went well and your fear of losing her is understandable. You’re right five dogs does sound pretty good 🙂
Thank you!
I’m pleased to hear your mother’s surgery went well and all that prep work is over! On to the rehab. 😒 Good luck with all the cleaning. It seems like the right time for that. I’m seldom in the mood for that, so when I am, it must be a good idea. Take care.
Thank you!
Aww good to hear surgery went well with Mom. My brother is facing hip surgery 🫤 I kinda hope it passes me by. Wow no pet fee…maybe the pet spirits will bless my complex to do the same. Keeping busy with cleaning..hey do what ya gotta do to get through this 🤗
Thank you!
Great news about your mother’s surgery. No pet fee? Five sounds good to me too.
To me too. Thank you!
Great news. Wishing you smooth sailing ahead!
Thank you!
You’re so welcome!
good news –
Thank you!
Glad to hear all has gone well with your mom’s surgery. I had to have a hip replacement because of a vehicle accident I had been in some years earlier, and I felt so much better afterwards. It seems your mom is beginning to experience similar relief. Cheers.
Thank you!
I am so happy That your mom’s surgery went so well! (Really only five pups? Surely you could fit a few more in…)
Ha! Thank you!
I’m glad to hear your mom’s surgery went well. I know what you mean about the quietness when you’re the only one there but think you heard Ellie. I have the same thing happen when I’m here alone when Charlie’s at the groomer or after I’ve been traveling and I haven’t picked him up yet. It’s so strange.
Thank you!
I’m glad your Mom’s surgery went well. I wish I felt the need to clean and organize now that I am here alone! I know what you mean about phantom noises. I heard them more after Steve died than during the times he was in the hospital or nursing homes. And I think five dogs would be delightful.
They would at least drown out the phantom noises.
It’s a relief knowing your Mum is okay and recuperating at home with you.
Thank you!
I’m glad your mom is okay. It can’t be easy. I will say a prayer for both of you. God bless.
Thank you!
Great to know that your mum coped so well with her surgery and is on the road to a full recovery. Five dogs sounds perfect!
Thank you!
Wishing you and your mom well
Thank you!
You’re very welcome
Wishing your mum a fast recovery, and I hope you hear the patter of doggy feet again soon.
Best wishes, Pet.
Thank you!
Sending healing thoughts and energy to your Mom for a full and easy recovery. And once she’s well on her way to said recovery, I hope you’ll hear the pitter patter of little feet bringing a special joy to you both.
Thank you!
Great news that your mum is doing well. Long may it last.
Thank you!
Surgery is always tough on the patient, but we don’t always think of the effect on others. You did good, Rachel. 🥰
Thank you!
I’m so glad that Mom is doing well! I definitely find that the wait before surgery is harder than the procedure or the recovery! Good luck with rehab!
Thank you!
So thankful for your mom’s excellent results from surgery and wish her a speedy rehab with wonderful folks helping her (plus you, of course).
Take care of yourself in the mix, too.
Thank you!
Glad the surgery went well Rachel. Take care of yourself too.
Thank you!
I’m happy to hear the surgery went well! That would be a lot of dogs – haha!
Thank you! If I had a farm, five dogs would seem like nothing. It’s all about perspective.
I’m thrilled your Mom is home and healing and feeling good, in good spirits! As far as the dogs, our four can wear me out. But if you do go “multiple” think about non-shedders, LOL! Riley’s a major “giver” and Lucy isn’t far behind him. Be well.
We have to do non-shedding because we both have allergies, otherwise I would probably have a whole family full of Golden retrievers.
Glad things went well!
Thank you!
“One dog is always enough”… to start with.
Yes, for a few days, but then…
Happy to hear your mom’s surgery went well! I do wonder how much I would like living by myself sometimes, and I think you answered it for me!
Thank you!
Glad to hear your mom is doing well! Sending good thoughts your way!
Thank you!
I’m so glad the surgery went well! I know you were especially anxious about it.
Thank you!
Glad all went well!
Thank you!