For some reason, Thanksgiving has never been my holiday. Maybe it’s because of that one extreme rabbi at my high school who called this secular American holiday a Shanda (a shame/a scandal), and yelled at us to avoid eating even one turkey sandwich; or maybe it’s because I can’t resonate with a holiday that’s all about gratitude when I’m used to Jewish holidays, where we grump at least as much as we celebrate; but most of all, it’s probably because the Thanksgiving-themed TV shows and movies I watched when I was growing up were all about the torture of family get-togethers, as opposed to the Christmas movies, which were full of romance and joy and candy and toys.
As for the events of the day itself: I’m not a parade person, or a football person, or a dog show person; and I’m really, really not a turkey person.
I saw a meme on Facebook recently that suggested we stop eating turkey for Thanksgiving and switch over to brisket, and while I’m sure it was created either by a Save-the-Turkeys group or by the Cattlemen-of-America, I wasn’t upset by the idea. Trying to cook even a small turkey for just me and Mom would mean eating turkey sandwiches for the next month, and even though I’ve been told that there are ways to cook a turkey to make it taste better, I’m pretty sure that’s just fantasy fiction.
Of course, Thanksgiving’s big claim to fame, other than turkey and a now-controversial origin story, is that it’s a day for expressing gratitude (it may only be a coincidence that Thanksgiving comes a few weeks after election day each year, when people are still stewing over those results). And for me, Thanksgiving is a time when I feel compelled to remind people that there is such a thing as toxic positivity, and that forcing gratitude out of grumpy people is just cruel. But, of course, I am also extremely vulnerable to peer pressure, so I end up searching through my life for the things I can be grateful for every year anyway. So, this year:
I’m glad that I was able to start writing poems again, and that I actually finished two drafts of my new novel (the third draft is taking its time); and I’m thrilled that I returned to online Hebrew classes this past summer with renewed joy and inspiration; and I’m grateful that I’m still able to teach, and that I have wonderful students again this year; and I’m grateful for my thoughtful friends and loving family.
But, of course, all of that hopeful, positive energy inevitably stirs up memories of all of the things I’m not grateful for: I keep getting older, and so does Mom; doctors still have no idea what’s wrong with me, but the copays keep coming in larger and larger doses; Israel is still at war and there are still 101 hostages being kept in Gaza (alive or dead, no one seems to know); and then there’s the fact that a majority of voters in the United States chose a predatory criminal as our president, despite mountains of evidence of his crimes, against our country, and against women in particular.
So, yeah, it’s a mixed bag. My hope is that I will be able to survive the next month of teaching, by relying on Christmas movies and French murder mysteries to keep me going, and then I will be able to rest and recover over winter break. My plan, then, is to watch as little news as possible, and write as much as possible, and start the new year with my feet solidly on the ground and my heart filled with (some) hope.
We’ll see how it goes.
p.s. Someone arrived the day after Thanksgiving and is waiting to be introduced to everyone. Next week.
If you haven’t had a chance yet, please check out my novel, Yeshiva Girl, on Amazon. And if you feel called to write a review of the book, on Amazon, or anywhere else, I’d be honored.
Yeshiva Girl is about a Jewish teenager on Long Island, named Isabel, though her father calls her Jezebel. Her father has been accused of inappropriate sexual behavior with one of his students, which he denies, but Izzy implicitly believes it’s true. As a result of his problems, her father sends her to a co-ed Orthodox yeshiva for tenth grade, out of the blue, and Izzy and her mother can’t figure out how to prevent it. At Yeshiva, though, Izzy finds that religious people are much more complicated than she had expected. Some, like her father, may use religion as a place to hide, but others search for and find comfort, and community, and even enlightenment. The question is, what will Izzy find?
rachelmankowitz 
Being as how I’m about 25% Native(Seneca), I have mixed feelings about Thanksgiving. Being as how I’m also about 1/4 Ashkenazi Jewish, I think brisket would be better dinner choice
Claude
Eeeee! I can’t wait for next week to meet “Someone”! That alone is a lot to be grateful for. 😊
Yes!
“Someone” looks as cute as can be—looking forward to next week’s introduction!
Thank you!
I usually enjoy Thanksgiving because it celebrates a lovely emotional state. As a vegetarian, I shared some Tofurky with my sister and reminicsed about the “good ol’ days”. I’m greatly disappointed by the election results, but I needed a break from all that. The holiday was a good way to focus on the positive for awhile.
Joy is a necessary part of life and we have every right to seek it out.
I am going to focus only on the good–that little Someone who looks so darn cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m gonna try too!
My husband can’t handle Thanksgiving either – too many negative memories. I think of it as a day to be hosted by the younger members of my clan – it’s their turn! Toxic positivity – a new concept to me and well stated. Still, it’s important to have some things that give you pleasure – sounds like you are making progress on your writing. Good for you! I have seriously cut back on my consumption of news, and will continue to protect my spirit as the year unfolds. I’m not checking out completely, just limiting how much. Looking forward to the introduction of your new pup🐾🐾
I’ve been limiting news intake too, and doing my best to find joy wherever I can.
That last picture is VERY cute! I hope that’s the “someone.” 😊
Thank you!
Aside from the “Someone”, it’s exciting to read that your next novel is so far along. Your poems are wonderful.
Thank you so much!
My heart just went “thud, thud.” I’m sure it was love at first sight for you and your Mom, too! Can’t wait!
Feeling very lucky!
Another thing to be grateful for are that those lovely Christmas movies and songs were mostly written by Jewish people. You had me chuckling at the third paragraph. Curious about the cute dog…
So much to be grateful for!
Squeals! Can’t wait for the formal introduction. Congratulations. What a cutie.
Thank you!
We’ll see how that goes indeed Rachel. I give thanks, as I always do, to that old tired worn “still walkin’ ‘bove ground” but I genuinely give thanks to my Sis and a couple of nephews and them bearing with me, this troll under the stairs with his 2 cats.
So glad you’ve been able to find some joy which, understandably, ain’t easy these days and look forward to … holy fur batman! at the end of your post! … new stories. Peekin’ round corners new furry stories.
Many new adventures to come!
We are complete opposites. I think Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because it lacks the commercialism of most American holidays. In our home it’s just about spending time with the people we love and sharing a meal. We are traditionally Turkey people, but we’ve also celebrated with soup and sandwiches and even spaghetti and cannoli one year.
There is no correct way to celebrate a holiday and there should be no pressure to do so if you don’t feel like it. I’m glad you have found something to be grateful for and I can’t wait to meet your new addition. ((HUGS))
Cannoli! I love that idea!
So basically, we press on, being thankful for what we can and ignoring the rest. And do I love your p.s. and can’t wait to meet him (or her.)
Thank you!
Hello Someone! I’m waiting to be introduced to you! Welcome and you’ve found a nice place to land, but don’t expect any turkey. hahahahaha
Yes, only chicken treats around here!
Sounds like a good plan and I’m looking forward to meeting your new arrival next week.
Thank you!
I can’t wait to meet *Someone*
Thank you!
I am a sappy, “love Thanksgiving,” person and I’m vegetarian so no turkey for me. It’s a holiday where we focus on thanks rather than grumps and that makes me grateful.
I cannot wait to meet your someone next week! And your furry someone gotcha day is Thanksgiving-ish ( day after)
Absolutely! Many good memories to come!
I enjoy it, because it’s about gathering and not gifts
I think I’d prefer the gifts…
)
Congratulations, Rachel — excited to read about the new “someone”!
Thank you!
Yeah, Thanksgiving seems to have more misgivings than just about any other holiday, even the ones only government employees get off. If nothing else, I try to be thankful for having the capacity to be thankful. So many people just seem to stop even considering being grateful for anything, like whatever good comes their way is expected.
Oh a more grateful note, I’m sure you are thankful for and I know I can’t wait to hear about the new addition.
And on a completely tangential note, your reference to French murder movies reminded me of a couple books I read this year, Mastering the Art of French Murder and Murder Most French by Colleen Cambridge. Cute not quite cozy mysteries with a most unexpected let’s say co-protagonist, Julia Child.
Happy December!
Those books sound great! Thank you!
There are fun.
I hate toxic positivity. And I LOVE that you’re found a dog at last! 😊
Thank you!
🕺🥰🐕 awwwwww looking fwd to that meeting. Brisket sounds like the perfect Thanksgiving, I hate turkey but I love bread stuffing. I made ham for my in-laws.
I’ve never been a fan of bread stuffing, but bread pudding…
It’s wonderful that you sound like you have it together. I also agree with a lot of what you said. I’m so happy to hear about your new arrival. That is wonderful news!
Thank you!
I’m sorry you feel you have so little to be grateful for, Rachel. Chronic illness can rob us of joy.
Certainly, those who have known and loved you are grateful you are here. That includes your students and your readers. All of us are grateful for your sensitivity, your insights, and your ability to put your feelings into words (something not everyone can do).
Genuine gratitude is not forced. It doesn’t require turkey or parades, although those can be nice. Genuine gratitude acknowledges the Creator and Source of all blessings — our lives, our loved ones (including our four-footed friends), the roof over our heads, the food on our tables, the clothing on our backs, the doctors who attempt to alleviate our pain, the very air we breathe.
This is a broken world. So there will always be wars, crime, and illness. But God will never abandon us. ❤
Thank you!
Oh, oh oh…….. a cutie!! Can’t wait for the official introduction! Such a lovely way to end your post this week Rachel after all the sadness and disquiet of late.
Thank you!
Who needs a televised dog show when I see that adorable furry face looking at me?
I’ve bent knitting more than ever these days but not getting to zen. Avoiding the news is such a good strategy but it lurks, looms and when you glance at it again it feels more horrific than before.
Eager to meet that sweet someone.
I miss knitting! I used to find it so satisfying, but at some point my hands decided they weren’t up to it anymore.
Aww I’m sorry your hands let you know you needed a break from it.
Turkey for 2 people doesn’t make much sense for us either. People think we’re crazy but my husband and I do carnitas (Mexican!) for T-giving.
I love that idea!
We are excited for you 🐾
Thank you!
What a sweet face! Can’t wait for the introduction. Our family abandoned turkey several years back and have turned to chicken and waffles Pennsylvania Dutch style. That said our Summer, who is tall enough to counter surf, waited till everyone was seated and eating to sneak back into the kitchen and discreetly consume a plateful of waffles off the kitchen counter. She would have pulled off the caper had she not been caught standing under the empty plate by my niece.
Ha! I had a dog who managed to eat a plateful of steaks waiting to be cooked. She was pretty happy with herself.
Yeah, getting older isn’t fun. Just today, while resting, I was thinking about how I got to this point. Soon, it’ll already be the 44th Christmas of my life. I found myself reminiscing about my Christmases over the years. There are already so many behind me, and hopefully, many more still ahead. (Thanksgiving is not celebrated here in Finland.)
I just watched a movie set in Finland! It was a Hallmark movie based around a sled dog race and very sweet.
PUPPY!!!!!!! Can’t wait to meet.
I am eagerly awaiting introduction to the new family member! Congrats! And there are so many things for which to be thankful every year. For example, every breath of air we breathe. God bless you and new fur baby.
Thank you!
Not able to connect with Spell Caster. Cast a spell for me!!!
Claude
I can’t wait to meet your new dog! They look extremely cute. 🙂
Thank you!
Hey Rachel- You accomplished quite a bit this year amid a pretty busy schedule I gather.
I enjoy our egoless exchanges between apparently two like minded people. Enjoy the holidays
Thank you!