I was really discouraged during my most recent online Hebrew class; most of my fellow students were more advanced than me, and much more confident, and I struggled to keep up with the discussions and the homework and even getting to class by the end of the semester. When my teacher suggested that I sign up for a fluency class next, instead of continuing at my current level, I agreed in the hopes that a class focused on speaking (instead of on learning new vocabulary) might be the right next step for me. But it was a relief when I found out that I’d have to wait two months for the next fluency class to start. I’ve also found lots of excuses to skip weekly Hebrew practices, and I haven’t really looked over my notes from the last class, which, honestly, might as well have been in Greek.
I keep wishing that language acquisition – and all learning, really – could be more straight forward for me: read A, write B, take tests C, D, and E, and then you know it. But even back in school, when that was the dominant learning model, it didn’t actually work for me. I could get straight A’s in class, or spend months writing a paper on the symbolism of birds in hieroglyphics, and I would still forget most of the material by the next semester. I was surprised by how little math I actually remembered from high school when I took the Graduate Record Exam (GRE) ten years later. I had to re-learn all of the math from scratch, and quickly forgot it all again when the test was over. Tests always seemed arbitrary to me, like I was being judged on my ability to guess what this or that particular teacher wanted from me, rather than being tested on my actual mastery of the material.
Over time, I’ve tried to approach learning in a more comprehensive way, coming at it from as any different directions as possible in order to build solid connections in my brain that might last longer than a moment, but I’m still struggling. I know I’ve learned a lot of Hebrew over the past few years, but I feel like crap for not being confident enough to speak much when I was in Israel, and I feel stupid for needing more classes. I’ve never been able to figure out the best way for my particular brain to learn, so most of the time I feel like I’m making do with methods that are built for a brain that isn’t mine; like trying to use lefty scissors as a right-hander, or trying to paint with a toothbrush. I wish I knew for sure what would help me get to the next level, in Hebrew and in everything else, but all I can do is guess at the right path forward and take a leap.
So tomorrow, I’m going to my first fluency class. It will probably take me a while to warm back up after my break, and I’m sure I’ll be anxious and self-conscious all over again, staring at my face on screen and wondering who that alien might be, but hopefully something in the new format will help me find the words when I need them, or at least calm my anxiety when I can’t think of anything to say. Fingers and neurons crossed.
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rachelmankowitz 
I have a good feeling you will greatly benefit from fluency class practice. The best way to learn a language is to use it in practical situations. I look forward to more of your language learning updates. Keep focused and be patient with yourself.
Thank you!
Learning language is hard. Don’t care what anyone says there aren’t any magic answers. It is particularly hard when you are in a place where no one speaks the language except in a formal setting.
It really is hard!
I so get what you mean about forgetting everything after a test. For me it was like my brain was so happy the test was over, that it let everything go that I had just learned. **that’s done. won’t be needing it anymore!** Most times, I did need the info for the test only, but it did make me wonder why I could not or did not retain the information longer. Good luck with the class!
Thank you!
I can do nothing more than agree with those who have already commented. Without constant practice (in anything) we tend to lose what we originally learned. I find that with our dancing. Unless a new dance is performed over and over again, woops – there it goes! I must add that I think your current ‘fluency class’ is just the ticket.
Fingers crossed!
🙏🙏🙏
Fluency classes would be best, I think. Just talk, try not to worry about making mistakes. That’s the closest you can get to living with the language all the time. Good luck. 🍀
Thank you!
Try not to be hard on yourself! Try not to lessen your self-esteem. You are doing the best you can. You are brave! Each step that you take is positive, even if it doesn’t feel that way. 💜🤗
Thank you!
You have to remember that you’re doing it just for YOU, not to please someone else.
I will try!
I think it’s admirable that you have learned so much.
Thank you!
I look forward to hearing about how much you enjoy the fluency class!
The first session was great!!!!!
Yay!! 😄
Good luck. Learning a language takes time.
A very long time, it seems.
You’ll be fine!
Thank you!
Good luck with the class!
Thank you!
Your fluency woes resonate with me – same situation, different language. By the way, it appears Tzippy got a new Lambie!
Tzippy inherited all of the toys in all the world (aka the apartment) and has no idea what to do with them. It’s possible they speak another dialect of bark than hers.
First, Tzippy looks so adorable curled under the covers in her nice bed!
We’re all either right-brained or left-brained, as I’m sure you know. And, of course, that determines what types of things we’re better at and easier to learn and understand and retain. Just wondering if that might have anything to do with your retention of Hebrew and other things you’ve struggled with remembering in your life.
I’m looking into Visual Spatial learning disorder to see if that helps explain some of my difficulties. Seems promising!
Great!
I empathise with this. I also find online courses impossible, nothing is retained. Writing by hand cements it into my head, but not online stuff.
I always used to copy my notes over by hand before tests, but it only stuck for a short time.
Trying to read them back, make sense of them… oh yes, that’s another thing altogether.
Good luck with the fluency class! Like other commenters have said, learning languages is hard, so don’t give yourself a hard time.
I will try! Thank you!
Best of luck, Rachel. I wonder if there might be a learning specialist for adults who could help you figure out what’s holding you back. You are obviously highly intelligent, so there may be some minor issue(s) for which there are ways to compensate that could make a big difference.
I’m looking into some ideas that might help. Fingers crossed!
Good to hear!
Keep at it. You are doing great. Far better than I ever did trying to learn another language.
I keep wishing I had a talent for languages to match my interest in them, but no such luck.
Good luck. I’m sure you’ll do fine.
Thank you!
Wishing you lots of success!
Thank you!
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You’re not alone. I think use it or lose it is pretty typical for pretty much anyone on just about anything they learn.
I don’t know all the challenges, of course. I don’t know if spoken Hebrew and read Hebrew are the same (the same kind). Is the same version used in Temple services as in conversation (regular life), after? I got into language by memorizing Spanish. Years later, I found I could translate the conversations I had heard recorded, which I guess is all right though late regarding application. Sigh. I hope the fluency class goes really well for you. Sounds relevant, at least. Woof to Tzipporah.
You’re too hard on yourself Rachel. There will be others in the same boat also wishing they could do better.
There is a free learning course, Learning how to Learn on Coursera. I found out about it listening to an Andrew Huberman podcast. The main three things are: test yourself frequently, spaced repetition of the material, and practice. I’ve been learning Spanish, French, German and Italian. I’ve got a good degree of fluency with Spanish (I can say what I want to say even if not elegantly) but struggle with accuracy (getting the right tenses, conjunctions, agreements etc). Look on it as a work in progress rather than something that has an end point. Remind yourself about how far you have come.
So interesting. Thank you!
I’m trying to learn Spanish with Duolingo. Same problem as you–I can read and understand it very well, but I can barely put a sentence together to speak.
I can’t figure out if my reluctance to speak comes from social anxiety or from something in the learning process that makes it harder to speak than to read.
For me, it’s a bit of both. If I’m reading something, I can take my time to understand. To talk with someone, you have to be somewhat timely in your response, which I can’t do! 😉
That makes a lot of sense!
I Duolingo too!
I love Duolingo!
What an adorable dog 🙂
Learning a language depends on use. I had, at last count, 8 years cumulative of Spanish. At times I have been quite fluent because I was actively using it. The other day when I wanted to pick it up again to speak with one of our grandchildren who had switched a YouTube to Spanish and was trying out the words, I was appalled at how rusty I was!
You can do it 🙂
Thank you!
UGH! I just wrote a long comment, and it was deleted! How do you say damn! in Hebrew! 😉 I will spare you from my reading Hebrew fluency problems this time around….
I respect your determination and motivation to master Hebrew!
Thank you!
I’m half German and half Chinese, so I get asked a lot if I’m fluent in both languages. Sadly no! But I’ve spent all my life studying languages wherever I traveled, so never give up, never surrender!
I won’t!
“but I feel like crap for not being confident enough to speak much when I was in Israel,” I don’t know… but you went to Israel – by yourself – and if that’s not confidence of some kind then I don’t know what is! Some people might panic just thinking of making the trip.
“and I feel stupid for needing more classes.” You’re doing a mitzvah by helping to keep teachers employed!
I like your POV! Thank you!