The Dancing Raccoon

Out for a stroll.

Out for a stroll.

The other night when Mom and I took the dogs out for their last walk of the night, I heard a terrible squawking sound. I couldn’t quite place it, but it was a mix of a little girl being tortured and birds flapping their wings and leaves rustling. I was concerned, but when I looked up into the woods I couldn’t see anything to explain the sound, and the lights from the complex illuminate the area well enough that a screaming child and her tormentor would have been visible.

The scene of the crime (or, the backyard).

The scene of the crime (or, the backyard).

I thought it might be a cat fight or a strange bird ritual that I didn’t want to be a part of, so I turned the girls back towards home. The rustling sound came closer though, and, of course, I turned around to see what it was, and there was the dancing raccoon. He was skipping out of the woods like little red riding hood, without a care, until he saw the dogs. I don’t think of my dogs as especially frightening, especially when Cricket is keeping her barking to herself, but to this raccoon they must have looked terrifying, because first he froze in mid-hop, then he backed up on his tippy toes like a bad cat burglar, and then he turned and ran back into the woods.

The raccoon looked something like this (not my picture).

The raccoon looked something like this (not my picture).

I really wish I had a video of the dance. He was a bruiser of a raccoon, clearly eating a lot of the cat food left out for the now scrawny feral cats, but my little white fluff balls intimidated the poop out of him.

Who knew raccoons were so cute? (not my picture)

Who knew raccoons were so cute? (not my picture)

To be fair, it’s possible that he’d been spying on us for a while, for days or weeks or months, and had decided that the little white dog with the curly hair and the big mouth was clearly the devil in disguise. Cricket can really scream. I feel bad for the workmen who’ve been traipsing in and out of the complex for the past eight months, because Cricket barks at them every single time she sees them, and tries to break her leash and lunge at them from fifty feet away. Even Butterfly gets a few deep barks out before she calmly sniffs their pant legs.

Crazy barking Cricket!

Crazy barking Cricket!

The big raccoon had probably written out a schedule of safe times to cross the yard to get to the garbage cans in front of the Seven-Eleven, and we ruined his plans by going out at an unexpected hour. He was making such a racket on his way down the hill that I guess he couldn’t hear us until he was just a few feet away.

This was my first raccoon sighting on the premises in a year. We have a lot of wildlife behind our building: we have chipmunks and squirrels and butterflies and snails, we have tiny birds and fly over geese and feral cats and home grown cats, and of course we have the dogs. But the raccoons have been keeping a low profile, and I’m afraid that this particular raccoon will do his best not to let himself be seen again, at least not by me and my scary, scary dogs.

Who could be scared of these two?

Who could be scared of these two?

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About rachelmankowitz

I am a fiction writer, a writing coach, and an obsessive chronicler of my dogs' lives.

163 responses »

  1. Your sweet puppies will defend you! My Lily and I were awakened a couple of mornings ago by two screeching tomcats, so I opened the door and out she flew, not that she could catch them, or know what to do with them if she did.They’ve not been back though.

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    • Cats seem to sense when dogs are within a mile or so. I’m sure as soon a Lily reached the door they were rushing to safety. Raccoons are not as bright as cats, and, being bulky, they have a harder time running away..

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      • I have Raccoon “friends” that I feed every night, even though I know better. They are of such sweet faces ! I keep my distance and evoke respect…..but they are still cute ! You are such a descriptive writer, I am right there with you on your walk !
        I have TWEETED as well !! SUZ

      • Wow! Thank you so much!

  2. Raccoons are so cute, but they can be really nasty, especially if they’re rabbit. Good thing your girls protected you. I think they deserve a special treat 🙂

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    • These girls think they deserve special treats for not killing me in my sleep. We run through the huge bag of chicken treats way too quickly. But, they are very happy, and very protective of their people, so it’s probably worth the extra expense.

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  3. This post made me smile good job Cricket and Butterfly scaring that raccoon away. Yes, they are cut little critters but they can be mean sometimes and destructive too. We had a pet raccoon when I was a little girl and he was a class-A thief. Maybe he will keep his distance now that your sweeties have intimidated him. Hugs and nose kisses

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  4. the last picture is way too cute! They do not look like terrorizers-of-raccoons….but you never know. Keep the chicken treats coming.

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    • I get the feeling the feral cats and the squirrels and that raccoon are hiding somewhere in the backyard sharing stories, and maybe video, of that scary Cricket.

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      • haha! Now you have me thinking about my feral cats at work. They probably secretly don’t come out for days on end just to make me worry about them. What we do for our little furry friends..!

  5. Congrats to your dogs–their first Racoon Scare! (My Sophie at this moment is barking firecely at people walking their poodle outside. If she would be on a walk herself she would say hello…

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  6. When I had indoor/outdoor cats I had a petdoor for them. One summer I was awakened by loud slurping in the kitchen. I got up to investigate. it was a raccoon drinking from the cats’ . He ran back out when he saw me, but I swear, he and the cats nodded to each other as if to say see you tomorrow night. And sure enough he’d come back a few times a week. I’d bang on the wall of my bedroom and he’d leave.He never upset a thing, just emptied the water bowl and left. my present cats are indoor cats and the door is gone! He’d be one thirsty raccoon if Cricket lived here.

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  7. Rachel, thanks for following my education blog. I am a rediscovered dog person! Check this post out for a laugh from my school days as a Principal! Cheers !
    James.

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  8. They are your fierce protectors! That cute little raccoon was a devil in disguise. lol

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  9. Sometimes we get machine gun fire in our house. We know what it is. It’s a woodpecker doing it’s thing on the metal exhaust pipe of our fireplace. I can only visualize a woodpecker with a beak that looks like Lombard Street in San Francisco.

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  10. What brave girls you have! Scaring away critters in the middle of the night! 😛

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  11. A dancing raccoon, wow. The closest we get in the UK is foxes rummaging in the bins. In our previous house (2 miles from the main town centre) we were woken up in the early hours and looked out of our bedroom window in time to see a beautiful fox running down the centre of our road with his prize……… a chicken carcass.

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  12. happy Easter, dear pal…
    and peace all over the world…especially in eastern europe…

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  13. Woof good for you , standing your ground is important. Happy Resurrection momwithoutpaws wants to say to you… Love arises

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  14. Hello Cricket,
    I do hope this is reaching you as well as your Mum Rachel. I guess it is – you really seem to have control of your Blog, and you live such an exciting life with these raccoons. We don’t have any of them round here.
    My Mum Meriel thinks that she has a blog about businesses. She even calls it Not My Business: Granny’s Sideways Glimpse of a Small Family Business. I don’t bother about changing the name. Everyone knows I am in control really. You see, I am luckier than you. You are looking for a job. I work in the family business. Very important role. I am the Junior Paper Shredder. Known as the J.P.S.
    I cannot offer you a job. (Not likely! I have got my teeth into all opportunities round here.) But I am sure for a persistent person like you something will turn up. That is something else we have in common. Never take No for an answer, either of us. We even look rather alike, though I am not a Cockapoo. I am a Dandie Dinmont. Like my friend, the Retired Paper Shredder (R.P.S.)
    Do hope we can keep in touch. We blog dogs must stick together. Or, as Disraeli would say, “We authors, Ma’am….”
    Best wishes from
    The J.P.S.
    I will let you into a secret. My real name is Snaffles. But I never use it on the Blog. Could breach security. Anonymity is so important.

    Reply
    • Butterfly would love to be a junior paper shredder!!!!! And she’s very good at stepping aside for the more senior members of the profession. Cricket runs the show here, absolutely, she just doesn’t enjoy typing and therefore leaves that to me.
      best,
      Rachel

      Reply
  15. Lovely story and who could be scared of those tiny little darlings…A Raccoon must have been a special sighting for you.
    Happy Easter
    Sheila x

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  16. I have a long relationships with those furry bandits. We finally came to an Olive Branch .We had patch work done on the roof closing up holes on the roof and the next day a mother raccoon was frantic and standing guard right on our deck and would not move. She would screech at us but not be aggressive. Then the day after we found out why. We heard the cries of babies and had the roofers come and they opened up the hole and found five baby raccoons. The mother could not be trapped. So instead of taking the babies away that would die without the mother, I had the roofers place the babies in our drive way. One by one the mother collected her young and took them next door to our neighbors abandoned garage. The momma raccoon doesn’t come by our house ( though she visits our garbage cans). But i no longer have to fear for my life entering and exiting my house after dark.

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  17. Love your description of the dance and then the cartoon stop.

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  18. hello rachel its dennis the vizsla dog hay we had a raccoon dooing the titerope wawk alon the bak fense not long ago trixie and me wer loozing owr minds over it but meen old mama and dada wood not let us go chayse it they spoyl all owr fun!!! ok bye

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  19. Ohh well done, you are such good lookouts (hearouts??)… anyway you are very good and very brave. Raccoons look so cute, indeed. We don’t have them over here but the sound you described sounds a lot like the noise that foxes make! They always spook the pups!
    Hugs, Carrie (Myfie, Ellie and Millie) x

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  20. Wonderful story! I’d have loved to see his dance.

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  21. We had no idea you and your girls lived in the country. Raccoon sightings were usually reserved for us on Worsham Street so we don’t expect to see them here in the Big City! 🙂

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  22. We have raccoons (and skunks too, unfortunately), and last summer there was a town-wide alert out for a rabid raccoon that was trying to attack people and dogs. They’re cute but I wouldn’t want to get too close to one!

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  23. What cute photos!
    We don’t have raccoons here in Australia. They look to be quite intelligent. Wonder if you’ll get some photos of your own…

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  24. Nice story. Glad it wasn’t really a girl being tortured..

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  25. My dog Lulu used to terrorize raccoons. They would gather to eat the deer corn in my parents’ back yard and UI would letter out to scatter them. I feel bad about it now but they would literally sit there all night and just eat. That’s unhealthy living even for a scavenger.

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  26. Raccoons can be expensive. The very first time I took my wife tent camping we were at Oak Creek Canyon near Sedona, Arizona. Late at night she got up and left the tent to visit the rest room and came face to face with a raccoon. It hissed and snarled, she screamed bloody murder, the entire campground woke, the ranger came running and two weeks later I bought an RV.

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  27. I’ve heard raccoons can be mean but I have yet to see it. We put cat food in the garage for some of the neighborhood cats and every now and again a raccoon will slip in. I’ve caught them in the garage before. They just stand up and look at me unless I advance toward them and then they’ll make their escape. I have yet to see a skinny one so I suppose they’re not going hungry! I wouldn’t want one of my dogs to try and take one on, though, as I imagine they would lose terribly.

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  28. I am sometimes amazed by the wildlife we have here in the middle of Minneapolis – raccoons, opposums, the occasional deer, rabbits, bats, and, lately coyote! Yeah, raccoons can be fierce creatures – and fearless.

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  29. To my knowledge we do not have Racoons in Australia, but I agree, they do look pretty cute.

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  30. Great story! I would love to see a dancing raccoon. And I’m a dog person, too!

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  31. Pingback: My Thanks to you | Two on a Rant

  32. LOVE this! Looking forward to reading more of your adventures with these two sweethearts!

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  33. Love your post! We live around lots of wildlife too. I hope our dogs keep them scared away.

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  34. I love the “I will never take a bath again” photo.

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  35. Just tweeted this delightful post 🙂

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  36. Rachel, thank you for stopping by my blog. I loved reading about Cricket and all the comments you have are enjoyable to read! I remember my father taking his Golden Reteiver for a late night walk and two raccoons attacked his dog. He had to kick them to get them off of her. They scratched up her leg pretty badly but she recovered. Never underestimate the power of those raccoons!

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  37. Appreciate you had stopped by my crazy blog. I have to say, this made me smile. Man, did you described the racoon….made a whole world out of that little incident, loved it.

    Months of spying with a prepared schedule…..haha, that was funny, the whole thing I was thinking this is some well written and the author sure does have some creativity.

    Glad I found you.

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  38. I’ve tweeted this great post just now 🙂

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  39. What a great story. Hope you see more raccoons. They are so fun to watch.

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  40. evelynralph/wordpress.com's avatar evelynralph/wordpress.com

    Hi, if you read my horsey blog, you will see that I actually picked up a loxal racoon once. Nit the wisest of things to do but I was ove from England and it had been petted by my friends. I did not hold it for long. It got antsy very fast.
    Evelyn

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  41. One day, I was sitting at my computer with my front door open. I had a screen door with glass from top to bottom. I heard rapping on the glass, and couldn’t imagine what it might be. I swiveled around to look and there was a squirrel on hind legs, banging his front paws against the door. He must have thought I had a supply of peanuts or acorns!

    Otis thought squirrels were demonic creature, because they taunted her from a distance, usually perched atop the power lines or on tree limbs. She saw the squirrel hammering on the glass door and let out a big “Woof!” No squirrels allowed in HER home!

    One time I was sitting on a bench on a college campus eating a bag of potato chips. Unexpectedly, I felt a tugging at my toe. I looked down and saw a little squirrel with his tiny fingers clasped to my sneakers. I offered him a potato chip, which he delicately accepted. Went off to savor the treat….

    Animals are pure magic, and sometimes kinder than we humans.

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  42. yes, heard that noise! I thought it was a werwolf! I was in Queensland Au at the time on a holiday. Never did catch eyes on the critter though. kind regards, Barbara. p.s. like your titles.

    Reply
  43. Lily's Tiger Art's avatar Lily's Tiger Art

    Reblogged this on Lily's Tiger Art.

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