It started as a song. I was in my car (on the way to yet another doctor’s appointment) and singing harmony along to some of the Israeli songs on my playlist, and I started to think about how I could write a song specifically for an alto (like me) where the harmony line becomes the melody of the song. But I was too busy driving to record what I was singing, and by the time I got to the doctor’s office and tried to record the tune on my phone, I’d forgotten most of it. But while I was in the waiting room, and then waiting again in the exam room, I wrote down some of the lyrics that had come to mind while I was singing, and the words kept coming, all in Hebrew.
By the time I got home from the appointment, I had four or five pages of potential lyrics, but no music to sing them to, and no idea how to get the music back. I decided to keep working on the lyrics anyway, shaping them into verses and a chorus and a bridge, in the hope that the melody would come back to me; but I found myself writing a poem instead, without any strict rhymes or rhythms. And after ten or fifteen drafts, and some help from Google Translate, I ended up with a poem I was happy with, about returning to my online Hebrew classes after a year away.
It took me a while to get up the nerve to send the poem to my current Hebrew teacher and ask for her corrections, though. I felt self-conscious about presuming to write a poem in Hebrew, and embarrassed to share what had turned out to be an ode, and kind of emotional and squishy (AKA not cool).
My teacher made a few corrections to the Hebrew, but mostly she just showered me with praise. She told me how meaningful it was to her, after teaching through the past year in Israel, to see that her work was paying off and reaching people at such a deep level. She also asked if she could send it to some of her friends, who also teach at the school, and I jumped up and down for a while before I could calmly type back, Sure. It took me a few more days to get up the nerve to ask her if I could send the poem to our WhatsApp group, to share it with my classmates, but when I finally sent it I got some very nice responses, and I felt great for a whole minute, maybe even two!
Then, of course, the letdown kicked in and I thought, ugh, I’ll have to keep writing poems in Hebrew to keep getting this much attention, and each poem will have to be better than the one before it or else they’d get bored and, really, over it. Or, maybe I could send the poem to new people, so they could be impressed, and then I wouldn’t have to write a whole new thing. And I thought, Aha! The blog! But, most of my readers are not fluent in Hebrew, so I would have to translate it, but I could also include the Hebrew, so they could be impressed in theory, if not in fact.
And as I started to translate the poem I realized that, except for a few details, this poem could just as easily be about the blogging world, and the kindness and curiosity and love we share here, in this place that doesn’t quite exist in the real world, but is very real, for us.
So, thank you for being such amazing, passionate, and compassionate people, and I hope you like the poem.
Hinei! (Here it is!)
An Ode to Citizen Café Tel Aviv
A year ago, I thought I was done with this,
I thought I’d finished learning Hebrew
After two years in the Zoom rooms.
Maybe, I thought, this is my Hebrew
And it can’t improve anymore.
And so, I closed the door on this world.
But,
I still dreamt about the zoom rooms
That existed outside of space, or
I worried,
That didn’t exist in reality at all.
Those zoom rooms were closed to me for almost a year,
And what a year,
In which the world shattered into many little pieces.
I watched the news and said to myself,
Maybe the whole world is different from what I imagined
And there’s nowhere to go for comfort.
Finally I understood
That I missed the zoom rooms
That exists outside of space or that I’d imagined completely,
But,
I’d lost the key
Or I’d lost the path to the rooms
Just when I needed them the most.
I missed all of the weird sentences,
About the beach and the traffic in Tel Aviv,
And about Ross and Rachel from Friends
And about Beyoncé the queen.
I missed all of the speed dating questions that we answered in the rooms,
And I missed this place where love is in the air,
Love of languages, love of food, love of music and laughter,
Love of the land of Israel and the Jewish people.
And so I decided to return
Even if these rooms only exist in my imagination,
Because I remembered that here everyone believes in this world that we create together.
This world isn’t perfect, I know.
Here everyone speaks Hebrew with a different accent,
And they don’t agree on a lot of things.
One man believes in every word of the Torah, and one doesn’t believe in anything.
One woman believes in world peace, and one thinks it’s impossible.
But,
In these rooms, all that matters to us
Is to learn from each other and to support each other
And to create a different world,
A world filled with kindness and curiosity.
That’s why we’re here
From Barcelona, and New York, and Berlin,
And Tel Aviv, and Jerusalem, and London,
And Argentina, and Toronto, and Arizona
To create a beautiful world together,
With all of our words and all of our love.
And because of this, our world, which exists outside of space, is real
For us and for always.
עוד (או אודה ל)סיטיזן קפה תל אביב
לפני שנה, חשבתי שמיציתי את זה,
חשבתי שסיימתי ללמוד עברית,
אחרי שנתיים בחדרי הזום.
אולי, חשבתי, זאת העברית שלי
והיא לא יכולה להשתפר עוד.
ואז, סגרתי את הדלת לעולם הזה.
אבל,
עדיין חלמתי על חדרי הזום
שהיו קיימים מחוץ לחלל, או
דאגתי,
שלא היו קיימים במציאות בכלל.
חדרי הזום האלה היו סגורים לי כמעט שנה,
ואיזו שנה,
שבה העולם התנפץ להרבה חלקים קטנים.
צפיתי בחדשות ואמרתי לעצמי,
אולי כל העולם שונה ממה שדמיינתי
ואין לאן ללכת לנחמה.
סוף סוף הבנתי
שהתגעגעתי לחדרי הזום
שקיימים מחוץ לחלל, או שדמיינתי לגמרי.
אבל,
פספסתי את המפתח
או פספסתי את הדרך לחדרים,
פשוט כשהכי הייתי צריכה אותם.
התגעגעתי לכל המשפטים המוזרים,
על הים והפקקים בתל אביב,
ועל רוס ורייצ׳ל מחברים,
ועל ביונסה המלכה.
התגעגעתי לכל השאלות הספיד דייטינג שעשינו בחדרים,
והתגעגעתי למקום הזה שבו אהבה נמצאת באוויר,
אהבת שפות, אהבת אוכל, אהבת מוזיקה וצחוקים,
אהבת מדינת ישראל והעם היהודי.
ואז החלטתי לחזור,
אפילו אם החדרים האלה רק קיימים בדמיון שלי,
כי זכרתי שפה כולם מאמינים בעולם הזה שאנחנו יוצרים ביחד.
העולם הזה לא מושלם, אני יודעת.
פה כולם מדברים עברית עם מבטא אחר,
ולא מסכימים על הרבה דברים.
איש אחד מאמין בכל מילה בתורה, ואחד לא מאמין בכלום.
אישה אחת מאמינה בשלום עולמי, ואחת חושבת שזה בלתי אפשרי.
אבל,
בחדרים האלה כל מה שחשוב לנו
זה ללמוד אחד מהשני ולתמוך אחד בשני
ולהמציא עולם אחר,
עולם מלא חסד וסקרנות.
בגלל זה אנחנו פה
מברצלונה, וניו יורק, וברלין,
ותל אביב, ויורשלים, ולונדון,
וארגנטינה, וטורונטו, ואריזונה
ליצור עולם יפה ביחד,
עם כל המילים שלנו, וכל האהבה שלנו.
ובגלל זה העולם שלנו, שקיים מחוץ לחלל, הוא אמיתי
לנו ולתמיד.
If you haven’t had a chance yet, please check out my Young Adult novel, Yeshiva Girl, on Amazon. And if you feel called to write a review of the book, on Amazon, or anywhere else, I’d be honored.
Yeshiva Girl is about a Jewish teenager on Long Island, named Isabel, though her father calls her Jezebel. Her father has been accused of inappropriate sexual behavior with one of his students, which he denies, but Izzy implicitly believes it’s true. As a result of his problems, her father sends her to a co-ed Orthodox yeshiva for tenth grade, out of the blue, and Izzy and her mother can’t figure out how to prevent it. At Yeshiva, though, Izzy finds that religious people are much more complicated than she had expected. Some, like her father, may use religion as a place to hide, but others search for and find comfort, and community, and even enlightenment. The question is, what will Izzy find?
rachelmankowitz 
Beautiful ☮️
Thank you!
How wonderful! 🥰
Thank you!
You poem/ode is lovely and from the heart. Poems are important for meaningfulness not necessarily quantity. You’ve tapped into a new creative outlet. I’m sure another one will arrive spontaneously. It does not matter when, though. Thank you for sharing the English version, too.
Thank you!!!!
im so happy for you! polishing your hebrew in the zoom room really sounds perfect for your situation! excellent inner detective work you did too, & poetry writing along with everything else! wow! that is awesome👍🏼🙏🏼❤️
Thank you so much!
that is true, Rachel. It’s beautiful. Thank you for sharing it.
Thank you!
Yay for you, Rachel! I had goosebumps reading this poem. I am so glad you shared, not only with your teacher and your group, but with our group here on the blog. Absolutely wonderful.
Thank you so much!
Beautiful, Rachel!
Thank you!!!!
Nice, Rachael
Thank you!
❤️❤️ You are amazing, Rachel!
Thank you so much!
Wow! That’s really great, Rachel. I didn’t know you could do all that Hebrew stuff. Very good!
Thank you!
Lois said it perfectly! This is a beautiful work of art you’ve created. 😊
Thank you so much!
Beautiful Rachel. Beautiful and touching and so very real. And yes, it also can apply to the not quite real blogging world, especially as you wrote, “ to learn from each other and to support each other.” I pray we always will.
Thank you so much!
You’re most welcome. And keep writing!
Absolutely lovely! Don’t stop writing poetry.
Thank you!
You’re welcome Rachel
How wonderful that your teacher wanted to share your poem.
Absolutely!
“…and the kindness and curiosity and love we share here, in this place that doesn’t quite exist in the real world, but is very real, for us…” this line struck me, Are we not real ? I have met quite a few bloggers with differing opinions from my own to make this feel like an extension to the real world that I don’t feel in other social media platforms.
Otherwise, outstanding work 😊🤗
Thank you!
Congratulations! That is a great achievement.
Thank you!
This is inspirational and worthy.
Thank you!
Rachel, if you drove the same route at the same time on the same day of the week, maybe the melody would come back. As soon as you’ve got it, hum it into a recording on your phone.
Great idea!
Love it! And yes, it does apply here, too. Thanks so much for sharing.
Thank you!!!
This is a beautiful poem that touches the heart. The writing looks so foreign to me, am amazed at how one can learn to write. Thank-you for translating, and have a wonderful day.
Thank you!
Please also include the city of São Paulo.
The name São Paulo refers to the Apostle Paul, as the city was founded by Jesuits at the beginning of the colonization of Brazil, with a Catholic character within the scope of the Protestant counter-reformation.
With immense economic and social contrasts, which have persisted since its foundation in 1554.
“It is the most populous city in Brazil, the American continent, Portuguese-speaking countries and the entire southern hemisphere, and the fifth most populous in the world,” Wikipedia
São Paulo Foundation, 1909 painting by Oscar Pereira da Silva.
São Paulo (Saint Paul)
I loved reading your poem. The insight you acquired after completing the poem becomes a metaphor for readers to see themselves in their own worlds of learning, seeking, and finding comfort in our humanity. Thank you, Rachel.
Thank you!!!
I know you’ve already gotten comments like this, but, I guess, this comment is for me being able to say it, too:
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with us. Thank you for sharing this space with us.
Thank you so much!
I have canceled begining Citizens Cafe.. feel too worried I won’t be able to committ– your ode makes me reconsider..
Did you become fluent through it? in 2 years?
It’s a great program, and a lot of fun, but learning Hebrew is a long process and different for everyone. There are no guarantees, but it’s worth the effort no matter what level you eventually reach. Enjoy!
It lovely and heartwarming
Thank you!
Awesome!!! Thank you for sharing!
Thank you!
Beautiful.
Write another when inspiration strikes, but don’t stress over it.
Thank you!
I love this Rachel! Great job. Don’t ever feel like you have to write or outdo your previous writing. I think these games we play with ourselves takes away the joy and inspiration which are what poetry and creativity are supposed to provide.
I think you’re right, but it’s so hard to make the noise go away. Thank you!
That was so beautiful! And it doesn’t just speak to your zoom room, it speaks to all of us…that we are meant to be in community, despite all our differences. Thank you for this !!
Thank you!
Wow, so cool. You are amazing!
Thank you!
Rachel you are now and always have been a wonderful writer. I thought you were good when I started following you blog and and more wonderful when I read your book. Seeing your different endeavors is like watching a garden bloom and this is like discovering a whole bed of roses I hadn’t see before.
You are so kind! Thank you so much!
What a beautiful poem Rachel.
Thank you so much!
😊
Congratulations, your work is great and challenging, well done!
Thank you so much!
Your welcome 🌺