A few weeks ago, Mom was struggling. Her blood pressure kept dropping too low, even when she forced herself to drink the liquids the nurse at the cardiologist’s office had recommended; and instead of needing one nap, or two, she could barely get out of bed. And then, even a sip of coffee was too much to swallow. But she didn’t want to wake me up to tell me she was in trouble, so she waited until I woke up on my own, looked in on her, and freaked out.
We arrived at the Emergency Room around Noon and there was a line to check in, so after making sure she had a place to sit and nurses nearby, I went back to park the car – which I’d left running, with the doors open, because I wasn’t panicking at all. By the time I got back, she was doing her intake interview, and another member of the staff took me aside to sign a few papers – including one that said I promised not to be physically or verbally abusive to the hospital staff (it’s kind of scary that such a document needs to exist, but I watched season one of The Pitt, so I get it). Then they gave Mom a gown, did an EKG, and led her to a stretcher in the hallway, because all of the actual rooms were full; most of the stretcher spots were filled as well, even though it was the middle of the day, in the middle of the week, in the middle of winter.
I stood aside while a nurse took blood and a tech did a portable chest x-ray, and in the meantime, a woman nearby (who was there with her own mother) told me how amazing Mom is, because while they were waiting in line to check in, Mom calmly told the intake nurse that she was having a heart attack. I turned to stare at my mother and she looked sheepish. She hadn’t said a word to me about a heart attack.
Luckily, the EKG and chest x-ray and blood tests all came back clear for any signs of cardiac distress. What they did find, though, was low hemoglobin levels, A.K.A. Anemia. And the doctor seemed to think that all of her symptoms could be explained by that diagnosis: the low blood pressure, the exhaustion, the nausea, even the tightness in her chest and shortness of breath. Her hypothesis was that the Anemia was caused by internal bleeding, because of an ulcer, because of the Ibuprofen Mom’s been taking for pain in her leg and feet, but they would need to do more blood tests and a CT scan, and have her checked out by a cardiologist, just in case.
Mom kicked me out of the ER just before dark, because I hadn’t eaten or taken my meds before driving her there in the first place, and because I was distracting her from her phone. My hope was that I would be able to rest for a few hours, and then she’d call me to pick her up before bedtime. I stopped at the supermarket to stock up, making sure we had enough coconut water and grape juice to keep Mom’s fluids high, and when I got back to the apartment I found out that Tzippy had thrown up on the floor, right next to Mom’s side of the couch.
I put the groceries away, cleaned up the floor, and the wee wee pads, and Tzippy’s bed, and then we sat together in the living room, watching TV and waiting for news about Mom. I spoke to my brother, and my aunt, updating them on the situation, and texted constantly with Mom to keep up with the latest events at the hospital. By 8 or 9 o’clock, the nurses told her that she’d have to stay overnight so they could do an endoscopy in the morning, and I finally changed into my pajamas and gave Tzippy her last treat of the day, but neither of us got much sleep that night.
The endoscopy didn’t end up taking place until early afternoon the next day, and then they found Mom a hospital room and told her she’d be staying for a few days. I packed her a bag (she wanted her weaving supplies, and I had to remind her that she might also need some clothes), and drove back to the hospital, carrying her loom through the metal detector. She was clear eyed, if exhausted, and relieved that she’d finally been allowed to eat, now that the endoscopy was over. The nurses were wonderful, as usual, but they’d had to poke her multiple times before getting the IV in the right spot, so her arms were black and blue. Thankfully, now that the IV was in a good place, they could administer medications without re-poking her, and the stomach protectant and IV Tylenol seemed to be helping.
But there were still more tests to do, and more doctors to see, and Mom and I were both anxious and confused about what was going to happen next. My brother was able to speak to the doctor over the phone and then visit in person to explain some of the things the doctors were leaving out. They ended up giving her a transfusion, because her hemoglobin levels were still low, and more fluids, and then they did more tests and checks and, finally, on day five, they let me take her home.
She already looked better than she had in months, so the Anemia must have been going on for quite a while before it became acute, but Mom was just happy to be home again, to see Tzipporah, and me, but even more so to be free to leave her bed without an alarm going off each time her foot touched the floor. She even committed to her new bland diet, to manage the ulcer, and was inspired to find a similar diet for Tzipporah, to see if that would help her too, and to have a diet buddy, of course.
Each day since then, Mom has been looking a little bit better and more like herself, though she still thinks she’s resting too much and getting too little done. And Tzippy seems to be feeling better too. They’ve both happily returned to their regular routine of arguing at bedtime: when Tzippy gets three treats and demands a fourth, and Mom tries to hold her ground, and then sprinkles cheese on the kibble, and Tzippy cries because what she really wanted was another chicken treat and why doesn’t her grandma understand?
As I listen to their duet from my room, I am relieved to be surrounded by family noise again. While Mom was in the hospital, I was in a state of suspended animation, checking my phone constantly and feeling like my whole world depended on the next piece of information. And it’s such a relief not to be so anxious anymore, though I’m much more aware now of which doctors Mom needs to see, and how much liquid she’s consuming and which foods she’s not supposed to eat. I’m also much more aware of how annoying it is to have to shovel the car out every time you need to go to a doctor or hospital or pharmacy (or work), when all you really want to do is hibernate under the covers and never see a snowflake again.
If you haven’t had a chance yet, please check out my novel, Yeshiva Girl, on Amazon. And if you feel called to write a review of the book, on Amazon, or anywhere else, I’d be honored.
Yeshiva Girl is about a Jewish teenager on Long Island, named Isabel, though her father calls her Jezebel. Her father has been accused of inappropriate sexual behavior with one of his students, which he denies, but Izzy implicitly believes it’s true. As a result of his problems, her father sends her to a co-ed Orthodox yeshiva for tenth grade, out of the blue, and Izzy and her mother can’t figure out how to prevent it. At Yeshiva, though, Izzy finds that religious people are much more complicated than she had expected. Some, like her father, may use religion as a place to hide, but others search for and find comfort, and community, and even enlightenment. The question is, what will Izzy find?
rachelmankowitz 
Wishing your mom all the best. It’s so stressful when our loved ones are sick.
Thank you!
Wow…this was frightening! For wh
Glad that your mom is doing better. Hoping that you are remembering to take some to to relax yourself. I know what you mean about the weather—Here’s hoping for some warmer weather soon.
Fingers crossed!
Rachel–this was scary. Hopefully, your mom is on the mend and cannot hide how she feels from you! Please take care of both your mom and you. And Tzipporah, too!
I’m trying to teach Tzipporah how to check if Grandma is breathing, but she just sniffs for chicken treats.
haha! I love that!!
My goodness! I send wishes for your mother’s continued recovery.
Thank you!!!
I’m so sorry to hear this, Rachel. I hope your mum continues to mend. All the best to her for her recovery. I was diagnosed with pernicious anemia decades ago and know well the symptoms but the good news is that it can very successfully be treated.
That’s very good news!
Oh My goodness Im so sorry let me know if you need anything
Thank you!
Of course I went through some similar things with my grandma
If you need prayer just let me know
Wishing your mother all the best, and peace for you, too. Having had multiple visits to the ER and hospitalization in the past month, I know it’s hard for caregivers as well as the patient. My husband has been a saint through this, and I’m sure you have, too. I was diagnosed with anemia after the surgery, but the iron supplement I take now is like a miracle cure. I hope your mom gets as much relief as I’ve had.
An iron supplement seems to be the next step. So glad it worked well for you!
I’m glad things are looking up and will keep your family in my prayers tonight. I always enjoy your writing .
Thank you so much!
A very scary few days. I’m glad your mom is back home and feeling better with a higher hemoglobin level. A refuah shlema for your mom and Tzippy and everyone. I hope you taking care of yourself and trying to relax from the stress and anxiety.
Thank you so much!
I hope your Mum continues to improve. Hopefully nothing else is causing the anaemia.
Thank you! Fingers crossed!
My own mother’s problems were different, but I well remember the anxieties and frustrations of her illnesses and hospitalizations. Even having daily routines disrupted is difficult; do what you can to simplify your life. I’m so glad your mom is back home now, and feeling better. That’s a huge blessing.
It really is! Thank you!
I’m very glad you were able to get your mom to the hospital in time. I hope she continues to do well; I wish her all the best.
Thank you so much!
God bless you and your mom. What an ordeal! Praise the Lord that He got y’all through it.
Thank you!
So glad your mom is ok! It’s hard not knowing what’s going to happen.
Thank you!
Good to read that your Mom is improving. Such an anxious time for you.
Thank you!
Really glad to hear the positive news. Sending prayers for you and your family tonight. I truly appreciate your words every time.
Thank you so much!
I’m glad all is well. I’m so over snow as well. I can’t wait for spring.
Thank you! Here’s hoping it warms up a few degrees, at least.
That sounds like a nightmare, Rachel. I’m so glad the worst is past you all.
Thank you!
Glad to hear your mum is back home & getting better. All the best for her speedy recovery. Take care, especially in your extreme weather.
Thank you!
Glad to hear that your mum is recovering well. I remember many years of hospital visits with my own mum, a combination of extreme worry, often followed by hours of boredom.
Best wishes, Pete.
Thank you!
I’m so glad to hear your mother is doing better. Meantime, be careful with all that shoveling!
Thank you!
Positive thoughts from Cali
Thank you!
I’m glad this happened now and not when you were in Israel. Hopefully she will continue to improve now the source of the bleeding is known and she has been transfused.
I was thinking the same thing all around. Thank you!
I’m so glad your Mom got the help she needed. May all 3 of you be well and safe this winter.
Thank you!!!!
We’re relieved right along with you. What a rollercoaster ride for you both.
Thank you!!!
Sending lots of positive thoughts to you and your mom!
Thank you!
Sending healing wishes to your mom. So scary, especially when your mom self diagnosed a (whisper) heart attack!!! Youwzaa
Glad everyone is home and safe!!!!
❤️
Thank you!
I remember my other half asking what causes black stools and what should he do. I said 911 and he said I have to shower I told him to be quick. The ambulance could not find us and when I called back I talked them up to our door. They got him there with just min. to spare he had a bleeding ulcer not known to him and he almost died. So yes I bet she felt like she was having heart issues I am glad you got your mom there as soon as you saw her when you woke. He had many pints of blood on that scary night. Get some rest it is the hardest job caring for another.
Wow! So glad you got there in time!
Thanks he has had too many close calls 😦
Wow, that post brought back too many still raw memories of emergency room trips during my almost two years as a caregiver. Each visit took at least six hours largely because the emergency rooms here are used as if they were regular clinics by undocumented folk without healthcare options. Bring the kids to the ER for a cold, that kind of thing. Even triaged, the wait was terrible especially when the patient is hurting or in a weakened state. It’s amazing the effect of transfusions, isn’t it? The bounce back in energy is dramatic which makes sense because oxygen is now being made available. I hope Mom recovers fully and fast and that she can adapt to the new diet and lifestyle changes. My sympathies to Tzippy…it sounds like the treat parade may be facing some reductions.
Tzippy appreciates your sympathy. This bland diet business is no joke.
Scary! ERs are a nightmare. Glad your Mum is home and wishing her a full recovery.
Thank you!
Glad she’s back home!
Me too! Thank you!
That was a rough night. I am glad there are solutions for the problems and wish your Mother a full recovery.
Thank you!
Remember to take care of yourself. Right now, everyone depends on your, and you need to be ready. (I’m with you, though, I would much rather hide under the covers.). We all will be praying for strength for you and healing for your Mom! ❤️
Thank you!
You managed to lace this scary tale with bits of humor–no easy feat, Rachel. Glad to hear your mom was wrong in her self-diagnosis, and the problems seem remediable with time and care. Be as kind to yourself as you are being to your mom and Tzippy.
Thank you!
What a stressful time. It’s definitely good news that your mom is recovering, and I pray that she continues her recovery without any issues.
Thank you!
You’re very welcome. 🙏🏼
Wishing your mother a full and quick recovery. Your mom is blessed to have a dutiful daughter like you.
Thank you! I’m the lucky one!
My thoughts with you and your family!
Thank you!
I’m so pleased to hear that your mom is feeling better and your family is enjoying a more happy and relaxed time.
Thank you!