I’m trying to get back to exercising, in small bites. For months, each time I tried to get back on track after a particularly bad flare, I would return to my previous exercise routine: forty-five minutes on the recumbent bike, twenty minutes of physical therapy exercises for my neck and upper back, and ten minutes of yoga stretches. And then I’d be exhausted and wouldn’t even think of trying again for another week. And then, when I was recovering from oral surgery, and I knew I didn’t have the energy for any of those things, let alone all of them, I just stopped trying to exercise altogether. But that didn’t work for me either. I started to feel stiffness and pain returning to my neck and upper back in ways I’d thought I was done with, and, even more worrisome, I was often out of breath just from walking the dogs. It became especially obvious when I had to sing for hours at a time with the choir, during the High Holiday services at my synagogue, and I’d have to skip notes here and there just to breathe. I’d noticed the breathlessness months before, too, when I was still able to do my regular exercise routine three days a week, but at least back then I could tell myself that I was doing something to fix it.
So, I started with breathing exercises, two minutes a day, to gradually build back my breath capacity for singing. And then I went looking for some short exercise videos on YouTube, and I found a bunch of five and ten minute Yoga videos and re-found a five minute Tai Chi series I’d done a few years ago, and started with those.
The problem is, I get obsessive. I ended up spending hours searching for more videos, and thinking I should try all of them, instead of just sticking with one or two. And then I got overwhelmed by all of the videos that came up on YouTube, promising weight loss/tightened facial muscles/removal of all anxiety/release of all trauma, in minutes. I’m so vulnerable to those promises, because I hate how long it takes to make progress, and I hate how circuitous the route to healing has to be, and I hate how confused I get, and I hate how easily I can get off track until I can’t even remember which track I was on or why. But after watching a bunch of those videos I felt even worse about myself, because they were telling me that the effort I’ve put into healing has been wasted, and I could have done it all in a matter of weeks if I’d just bought into this or that program from the beginning.
And then I was watching an hour-long Yoga video and berating myself for not even trying to do all of the exercises and the noise in my head became extreme, and mean, and persistent, and exhausting.
And the reality is, I can’t do all of those things. And there is no magic cure for trauma or chronic illness. But I can do five minutes of Tai Chi, or five minutes of standing Yoga, and two minutes of breathing exercises, or even four. And I’m doing those things. And if I keep it up, I will be able to do a little bit more and a little bit more. And that is always how it has worked for me, and I know that, even if I hate it. So it’s back to small bites, for me, and one step at a time.
Harrumph.
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rachelmankowitz 
I can totally sympathize. I am still doing the exercises prescribed by my physical therapist after my hip replacements, but I keep seeing ads on Facebook for magical programs that will “open your hips” and allow you to do splits (one of my unrealistic goals). Today the Washington Post had a seductive article (with useful videos) about high-intensity exercise that looked a lot like a more vigorous version of some of the exercises I’m already doing. And I bookmarked a yoga sequence (though I’ve never done yoga) designed to free up the hips. I’m guessing I’ll never do any of these–just keep walking (on the street and on a treadmill), using a few weight machines, and promising myself I will investigate the classes at the gym my health insurance pays for! The hard part is that I’m spending an hour and a half or more a day on these exercises, and I do have a life and other work I should be doing.
This is my life!
Finding Grace in accepting your body’s limits while trying to improve your strength and energy levels is a hard tightrope to walk. Setting timers to know when to change activities or recording the number of reps for an exercise and adding 5 each week is a visual way to focus on the task.
Good ideas. Thank you!
You are right on track! I’m also taking small bites in getting back to exercise, including going back to the gym in the covid era. My first day back I didn’t have much time, so I said to myself that 20 minutes on the treadmill was worthwhile and a good start. I’m also happy to go outside and walk, even if it’s only down to the park at the end of the street. The fresh air and beauty of nature does wonders for the soul! 🙂
It really does!
Like you, Rachel, “ I hate how circuitous the route to healing has to be” ;or can be if we we are not careful to find a path that moves us consistently forward. I will pray for your strength, stamina, and forward moving path.
Thank you!
Kudos to you Rachel for making an effort at all! You go girl!!!
Thank you!
The very first sentence in this post. And repeat. You know you, Rachel. All that other stuff is just noise.
Thank you!
Everything starts with an investment of five minutes. You can do this—a little chunk at a time.
I hope so. Thank you!
I assume you want a healthy life style? For anything to be sustainable It must be part of your normal life style. If it is not part of your normal life style than all your doing Is holding your breath. Sooner or later you will stop doing your exercises.
I got rid of my car and now only get around by bike. I automatically get my exercise through my normal life style. This what you need to search for.
People often believe the old saying, “no pain, no gain”. Meanwhile, I’m of the opinion that a person makes progress by simply doing what holds their interest. The small bites idea works with this. There’s no reason to beat yourself up by trying to shoehorn yourself into someone else’s program. Keep on keeping on!
I will! Thank you!
Small bites is a good way to start. Staying small for longer than you may want before biting off more may be the best way to go.
Thank you!
Smart girl to do the small bites.
Thank you!
From the title I thought this was going to be about your teeth, but am glad to learn that you have recovered from the surgery
Thank you!
Small bites is totally the way to do it! I stopped running again but walk before work in the morning. When I don’t want to, I say to myself, just go around the block. A short walk is better than none. How to silence those insidious inner voices telling us it is not good enough, we will never be good enough? I don’t know. I just ignore them as best I can and do what I can. Keep telling yourself that two minutes of yoga IS a good thing! I’m proud of your small steps.
Thank you so much!
I’m sure having the cutest canine helpers on the Internet helps makes the little bites easier! Best wishes for your step-by-step success, Rachel! Give the doggies a happy pat for me.
Thank you so much!
It’s So easy to get pulled into endless internet searches. So glad you became aware of the harm you were doing yourself and switched to the small bite, sensible way of facing these things!
Thank you!
Ever since I vowed never to get on a treadmill again, I have begun to truly enjoy walking and doing at home yoga…no tracking, no special clothes, just those “small bites” that make me feel like I am ok just striving to be my healthiest me!
Awesome!
I’m not going to mention how many of those “this is so easy” ads I’ve bought into over the past 5+ years; I doubt I remember all of the ones I bought into and, if I could, I’d be embarrassed to admit how many that was. I started learning over the summer that I needed to be okay with whatever I could do instead of focusing on all of the things I can’t do because of health and energy issues. Now, suddenly, making the trip to and from the laundry area in our shared apartment building to wash and dry clothes, then carrying the basket all of the way back upstairs and putting all of those clean clothes away becomes something I brag about. Your small bites are still bites. I’d bet that if, each day, you’d make a list of all of the things you accomplished, from what exercises you do to walking the dog or doing something for your mom or whatever else, you’d realize your bites may be small, but you make plenty of bites every day!
Thank you so much!
You are wise to listen to what your body is telling you! Just do what you can do without exhausting yourself, and know that is enough!
Your acknowledgments of what you can’t do, what you can do, and what you’re doing are mindful, level-headed, and encouraging. And going at a pace that works for you is healthy and makes sense. Rooting for you Rachel!
Thank you!!!!
And remember walking your sweet pups counts as exercise as well. Cricket & Ellie are the best coaches as they won’t let you forget and cheer you every step of the way.
They are very demanding coaches!
Small bites are the way to go, Rachel! (But I totally get the obsessiveness bit.)
Thank you!
I can totally relate to the struggle of not progressing fast enough, but gradual progress is the best. I hope you find a routine that works for you and helps you feel better soon!
Thank you!
Moderation is very difficult for some of us. ❤
Yup.
If I had those wonderful pups of yours, I’d forget about “exercise” and just focus on taking them on short walks, playing with them and generally having fun with them. I’m sure their energy gives you quite a bit of “exercise” that you aren’t even counting! 😉
Probably true!
Hi Rachel,
Glad you are recovering from your surgery. I know the internet can be frustrating.
Thanks for visiting today. I hope you found my very short exercise routine helpful. I have posted some on Tai Chi as well as Qigong.
❤️
There are a lot of miracle-cure promises out there, aren’t there?
I like this quote I read recently: “Nature is a thorough believer in the installment plan in her relations with the individual. No [person] is so poor that [they] cannot begin to pay for what [they] want . . . . Nature never accepts a cash payment in full for anything–this would be an injustice to the poor and to the weak.” (It is from the Secrets to Power, Mastery, and Truth: the Best of William George Jordan. I edited to make gender neutral.)
💜
May you avoid being sucked into the You Tube vortex. Just pick one thing. Do it a little first. Think about whether or not you want to do more of it. Find the amount that works for you. Forget some imaginary you and embrace the actual lovable one your dogs know and love.
I’m trying. Ellie is working very hard to convince me that I’m lovable and she never gives up.
Little bites to go with your mood at the moment– that’s the best way to exercise. Sometimes long routines begin to feel more like work.
Art
Thank you!
Yup. Small bites. Sometimes you may be surprised if you don’t even think about doing 5 minutes. Sometimes just start and do what you can – that day (!) – you could be surprised you did 8 minutes. And the next day 3 minutes, and the next day 10 minutes. Just DOING is great! It doesn’t always have to be for a certain amount, it is good to do what you can do when you are doing it! And, yeah, I can understand getting overwhelmed with all that is out there. Sometimes spending more time on looking things up than doing. For me sometimes it is better to NOT have so many choices. Or I pick out what I am going to do the night before so then when I go to do it I can just get it done (whatever “it” is) and not spend my “workout” time looking at stuff. Keep it up and YAY for you!!!!
Thank you!!!
I by pass all of those articles and advertisements that seem too good to be true. I know that just getting up and doing something is better than nothing. And I keep telling myself to get out and walk. So kudos to you for taking those small bites. They will become chunks in time. You go girl!
Thank you!
🙂
Small bites are good. You are doing great. Don’t buy into the lies of God’s enemy the devil who wants to accuse and destroy us. God bless you.
It is better to start small and grow. Also, as far as trauma goes, I’ve had some good results with Young Living’s Peace and Calming. It’s a trauma release oil. It’s so powerful that Child #2 won’t let it be diffused at night because her dreams are nightmares as it works out the trauma from her abusive father. I diffuse it in the daytime out of respect for her sleep! Here’s the link to my blog post on it. http://gfrecipesandwritings.com/2022/05/14/sharing-saturday-peace-calming-essential-oil/
Thank you!