After all of your thoughtful responses to my failed-mystery-writing-summer, I felt like a kaleidoscope that had been shaken back into place. What it boils down to: you don’t have to try to be someone more market savvy, or normal, but you do need to focus on getting your own particular stories written, whether they are fiction or non-fiction, whether the outside world is desperate to hear those stories or not, and stop letting the need to be acceptable cut you off at the knees. Because, really, what if we’re all more interesting than we’ve been given credit for? And what if expecting everyone to hit the same milestones at the same times and learn the same life lessons from our disparate lives is a misunderstanding of why we’re even here in the first place? What if the things that feel vulnerable and not good enough about me are the real things I have to offer the world and by trying so hard to fit in, or sound normal, I’m losing what’s special about me? What if by reading an endless supply of stories about the same successful, good looking, well-regulated people, we’re getting only a tiny speck of the wisdom the world has to offer us?
I don’t completely buy this vision yet, to be honest. I’m still too aware of the American ethos that everyone should be ruggedly independent and capable of surviving by ourselves in the wild; every man is an island, etc. But I’ve never actually been able to live like that. I’ve always needed help to get from point A to point B, and the only real variable is whether I ask for the help I need, or fail to ask for it. And maybe that’s normal. Maybe most people are just putting on a shiny gloss and pretending at normal too.
So, my job is to write the stories, essays, songs, novels, that keep screaming at me to be written, and not to sit in judgement of all of those stories before they’ve even been told. It’s still hard to ignore the voices in my head telling me to just shut up and let the smart, capable, useful people talk, but getting so much support and validation from all of you makes a real difference. I can’t promise that my brain won’t go off the rails again by tomorrow, but at least for a few minutes I’ve been able to take in the love and acceptance you’ve been offering me, just as I am. And I am so grateful to you.
If you haven’t had a chance yet, please check out my novel, Yeshiva Girl, on Amazon. And if you feel called to write a review of the book, on Amazon, or anywhere else, I’d be honored.
Yeshiva Girl is about a Jewish teenager on Long Island, named Isabel, though her father calls her Jezebel. Her father has been accused of inappropriate sexual behavior with one of his students, which he denies, but Izzy implicitly believes it’s true. As a result of his problems, her father sends her to a co-ed Orthodox yeshiva for tenth grade, out of the blue, and Izzy and her mother can’t figure out how to prevent it. At Yeshiva, though, Izzy finds that religious people are much more complicated than she had expected. Some, like her father, may use religion as a place to hide, but others search for and find comfort, and community, and even enlightenment. The question is, what will Izzy find?
rachelmankowitz 
The most memorable, moving stories I’ve read are those that are not written from the viewpoint of the author’s personnna. They spring forth from the writer’s subconscious and authentic self.
Sounds good!
This may not be helpful at the moment, but I reckon, just keep writing. You’re inspired to write, so write. You never know what will happen in the future.
I will keep trying! Thank you!
There is definitely a lot more than ‘successful, good looking, well-regulated people’ to read about. And write about.
Look at what you write for us every Saturday night. You just pour it out for us, Rachel. I’d say you are doing a great job of writing. The End.
Thank you so much!
Your post brings to mind the line from the song “Sing A Song”: “Don’t worry if it’s not good enough, for anyone else to hear. Just sing, sing a song!”. The same could be said about “Just write, write a book”.
Every week, hundreds of people come to your blog to read your thoughts and insights and teachings. I think you are the successful writer you’ve always wanted to be – it just doesn’t look the way you expected it to. Celebrate! You are already amazing! 🎉
Thank you so much! I love your POV!
😊
Write because you must, because you need to. Write because you have a lot of thoughts, things to say, so write them down, for yourself, not for fame or fortune. Write for YOU,not for us/others.💜
Always! Thank you!
The most special thing about you is the part that’s been trying to disappear. Write that. Let the kaleidoscope shake. The world needs what only Rachel knows how to tell. 💙
Much love,
Khadija 💕🤗
Thank you!!!!!!
Please try to remember that we’re grateful to you too.
Thank you so much!
Yes! I believe you are on the right track. Write what you want to write for yourself and there will probably be some who it will also speak to. Also, YES, many of us are just trying to seem “normal” but don’t feel it. You are not alone there by a long shot.
Thank you so much!
sometimes I feel like stopping my blogs. and then I get this thought of “I need to write. Where am I going to write?”
Keep going
we need to write!!!
We do!!!!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
All I know, Rachel is that a talented writer to have enough drive to write one novel. That’s more than I can do to sell my art. I loved dramatizing Yesheva Girl for my podcast years back. I keep looking forward to you advertising something new. 😊
Thank you so much!
“Because, really, what if we’re all more interesting than we’ve been given credit for?” Really, we all are! Good luck getting those stories, essays, songs, and novels out into the world where they belong!
Thank you so much!
I read a lot of fiction and most of the books I have liked best in recent memory do not feature main characters who have it all figured out and solve their problems on their own. Life is messy and realistic fiction, when done well, usually is too. I’ve been impressed with some recent books that have characters who don’t have it all figured out. I’m looking forward to seeing what you come up with.
Thank you!
As I used to say when I was five: “You’re OK…for a girl.” 😈
Ha!
Such a cute dog you have 🩷🐾
Thank you!
I do NOT buy into the whole rugged individual, pull yourself up by the bootstraps, do it all by yourself ethos. We are here to help each other! Yes, nobody is going to write my stories for me (which is why they remain unwritten, and why my house remains uncleaned, but let’s not go there), but I think we should totally take what help we can in the form of moral support. I encourage you to write whatever comes out of your fingertips (via pen or keyboard) and brings you joy!
Thank you so much!
No man is an island, humans succeed because of community, not independence. It’s important to teach students this!
Absolutely!